My neighbour makes me feel uncomfortable!

[Wisteriabloom]

I was walking back from local shop this morning, feeling fine, not thinking of anything in particular! Was just turning into my driveway when a car suddenly stopped alongside me. It was our neighbour opposite (female, quite elderly), winding her window down and asking if I was ok, as i looked 'very solemn'!

I replied 'Fine thanks, must have been in a world of my own'! Then continued home. She's done similar before, once called out to me as I was dog walking that I looked 'very pale' and was I ok. (I was, by the way, I'm not even pale skinned, and was fine. Early morning walk, so may not have had make-up on yet)!😲

Both times this has been when other people are around, and after I've gone in I notice she's engaging them in conversation, poss talking about me?

I'm quite quiet anyway, often stop for a chat with people but don't like attention being drawn to me when I'm just minding my own business!

Would anyone else feel weird about this? She probably means well, but it's the brisk way she addresses me I don't like. Both times she's made me jump, as I was unaware she was there!

It's just her way of making chit chat I'd have thought

She may be lonely?

Is she trying to make conversation?

It's called conversation.

I understand it's intrusive but some people are like this with everyone and she just doesn't get you.
Don't over think it.

Is it because she's making personal comments? That would make me wary. The woman who lives over the road from me is a nosey gossip and always trying to get info out of me. It's very annoying as I'm naturally a private person and I avoid her like the plague.

That's exactly the kind of thing my late Nan would say, sounds like she's trying to be friendly. Try chatting to her

My mil is like this - are you ok you look tired/ you’ve been quiet/ look a bit pale etc etc.

I was offended at first now I think it’s just her way of showing she cares.

We have a neighbour who can be a little odd, I honestly think she is just socially awkward. I have lived here 10 years and when I see her anywhere else she shouts “Hello, neighbour here!”

Our son was out weeding the garden the other day, he has been boarding for sixth form so isn’t here all the time. She came over and said “Who are you, are they paying you to do that?”

She's probably asking much the same of the other neighbours as well. For some people, asking out of concern for others is just what they do.

Anyway, it is actually nice to have someone kindly living on your street, you never know when you might really be in need of help.

Meant to say that in response to those kind of comments I always reply with a cheery ‘thanks!’ as if she’s made my day

Yes, Mybrain, that's exactly it!

And yes, to those who suggested she may be lonely/making conversation she probably is, but if I initiate conversation with someone I'll keep it general, or positive - 'I like your jacket/that hair colour really suits you/so nice to see the sun today etc'! There are far less intrusive ways to start conversation!

All sounds harmless, really. I had a neighbour say "what a shame..." when I told her my unborn baby was a girl - that was the end of any further friendly chit-chat, let me tell you.

Some people are just a bit pushy I guess. I'd never make a personal comment because it's rude.

I think she probably means well but is misguided. It's so much nicer when somebody says something positive. I wonder if she's trying to give you a chance to say if you're not OK, as there's so much about it in the media.
But totally agree there are much better ways of going about it.

Sounds like she's just a bit nosy, but possibly just being kindhearted. She's just different from you but doesn't sound particularly ghoulish.

No I wouldn't feel weird about it. Surely we know as adults that not everyone is the same, or as socially skilled as we like to think we are ourselves.

She's unlikely to be talking about you to the other people, more likely to be making conversational remarks to them too.