Friendship issues 8 year old girl

[Paperyfish]

My dd is having friendship problems at school. She’s 8 and in year 4. She joined the school in year 3 and made one good friend- Beth. Beth is her best friend and she doesn’t seem to play with anyone else. I have tried encouraging her to play with other, invite others over to play etc- but with COVID and school closures and so on it really hasn’t happened.
Anyway, now dd is coming home saying beth doesn’t want to play with her, or won’t talk to her, or is being mean to her ( e.g. squirting her with juice at lunchtime). She is really upset and rather lonely.
I have encouraged her to play with other kids, but she says they don’t
Want to play with her either.
I want to help so much but feel useless.
It’s nearly her birthday so am organising her an outdoor party and inviting all the girls in her class in the hope this might cheer her up and possibly encourage friendships with other girls. 13 have accepted, so think it will be an ok party.
I have also arranged for her to start swimming lessons next week in the hope she might meet some new friends and build confidence. She already belongs to a netball club out of school, which she enjoys, but hasn’t yielded any new friends.
I have also considered….
A) inviting Beth over for a play date to see
If they can patch things up and be friendly again.
B) speaking to beth’s mum to see if she has insight
C) speaking to class teacher and asking her to speak to class in general way about being inclusive and kind in hope this improves dd’s chances of being invited to play with other children at playtimes.
D) investigate chance of dd moving to one of the other year group classes in September when she starts year 5 in the hope there’s other children she can gel with.
E) keeping my beak out as this is something she needs to sort and she’s too old now to have an overbearing mum fussing.
Does any one have any helpful advice or opinions on if any of these ideas sound like the right course of action?
Thanks.

Bump

I'd do all of those probably.

Some schools manage this so well

It's heartbreaking when kids have these issues.
In your shoes I would do a combination of beak out and trying to widen her social group.
Beth may have tired of the intensity of your DD's friendship and want to break out. No criticism of your DD intended, just some kids enjoy the close friends thing and others do thrive with a wider friend group.
Changing class might be a good idea - worth a chat with the school at least.

Don’t do A! At best this friendship sounds unhealthy at worst it sounds like Beth is bullying your daughter. Don’t encourage your DD to go chasing after someone that is treating her badly and making her upset. How well do you know the mum and do you feel like you can approach her to discuss? Beth can choose who she wants to be friends with and that might no longer include your DD, but blanking her and juice squirting in unacceptable. If you can’t resolve via Beth’s mum then go to the teacher. Hopefully the party will yield more friendships. If not then swapping class might be something to look into, have you asked your DD how she would feel about it?

Probably C or E. Beth’s mum is likely to either have no idea whats gone on or to lie.

Meanwhile encourage your DD to form other friendships Beth may or may not have already moved on.

Your poor dd but why not invite the boys to her party or for playdates? My dd was friends with boys and girls at that age. Boys are a bit more uncomplicated when it comes to friendship in my experience.

You should speak to her teacher. They will probably be able to move the tables around a bit (covid might mess that up at the moment though) or encourage different groups to play together. Moving to a different class in year 5 could be good, if they're not already mixing them up anyway.

@LagneyandCasey hi, yes, I did wonder about the boys, but dd was quite sure that she wanted the girls to be friends with. Also, I would have liked to have invited the whole class but the activity for the party is 20 children max which works well for the number of girls plus dd, plus brother and sister and 2 cousins.

Widen her friendship group. She’s only been friends with Beth so far so the others may not have had chance to get to know her. Party is a good idea. Also try inviting other girls to play. Give Beth some space for a little while. The friendship may or may not result-ignite when things with your dd are a bit less intense.
We’ve had this with dd1 and the above worked well.
With the proviso that the class was not a toxic one and my dd just needed some help in broadening her friendship group. I shed a little tear or two privately at the time as she was so upset but she’s very happy now. Currently going through friendship dramas with dd2 except that this time the whole class dynamic is different, more unpleasant - but that’s a whole other topic.

Also in my opinion it’s true that boys can be easier. But for that very reason, “retreating” into boy friendships can be a form of not facing the problem or learning how to be friends with females which can be tricky.

Thanks all - she’s so upset at the thought of going to school again tomorrow with no one to play with it’s breaking my heart

Would move on from Beth, but other than that all sound like good ideas.

It is heartbreaking as a mum, but lots of kids go through lonely patches and they get through it. Some mild intervention is a good idea though.

Do the school not have any strategies for this? Some have benches or places to go when kids are looking for new playmates.

Have made appointment to see teacher after school tomorrow to discuss and have told dd she can invite Mia to play on Saturday- a girl from another class who is nice.

A quiet chat with the teacher would be my starting point so I’m glad to see you are organising that. They will have a much better picture of the friendship dynamics and should have some suggestions on how to help.

Well, i found out what has gone wrong. Beth and my dd have been bullying a boy in their class. They have made up a nasty nickname for him- which obviously upsets him. They also secretly logged in to his tt rockstars account ( tt rockstars is a online learning game aimed at primary kids. They create a character and can earn pretend coins to spend on online items for their character by completing sums. The school set it up and use it for revision- there are battles between classes). Once logged on they spent all his coins.
My dd had an attack of remorse and told the boy what they’d done and apologised. The boy told my dd he wouldn’t tell the teacher if they gave him some fidget toy he wanted. I don’t know if they have done this.
Beth is angry with my dd for confessing to the boy and is very worried boy will go to the teacher now he knows who did it and they’ll (rightly) get in big trouble.
That’s why they fell out.
I am very upset to find this out. It all came from beth’s mum. I haven’t spoken to dd about it yet- I’m waiting till tomorrow. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so furious at her. I can’t believe she would do this.
should I go to the teacher myself?
I will make her apologise to the boy properly.
I want to discuss it with her and Beth with her parents too.
Should I make her log back in to his account and spend her evenings earning back his coins?
I am so ashamed of her behaviour.