My DD is 3 and had been bedsharing with me until recently. She woke every 30 minutes for some time as a baby and then 2 hourly, although she did start sleeping through at the end of last year as long as she was in bed with me.
We then started to put her to bed in her own room and let her walk into mine if she wanted to (she did every night) which meant everyone got the maximum amount of sleep and it worked really well. There were some possible medical reasons that my daughter was uncomfortable at night and she has also been through a big surgery so I've always wanted to do whatever seems to help her sleep the most.
We now have a six month old baby too, who sleeps in a crib in my room, and I feel like it's getting to the point where it has the potential to negatively impact them both if we continue this sleeping arrangement. The baby wakes every two hourly or more as well for a feed and although this doesn't disturb DC1 overly in the night, in the lighter mornings DC2 has been unsettled between 4 and 5 and normally up for the day by 5.30. This disturbs DC1 who then tends to be up earlier for the day than she normally would. If I take DC2 into DC1's room to bed share between 4am-6am this tends to keep DC2 asleep but because DC1 is used to me being there if she stirs and finds me missing she gets up to look for me and is again up for the day. When either DC have colds or illnesses they are up far more and sometimes disturb the other.
After discussing it all with DC1's consultant and physio who felt she should be more comfortable now we all agreed it would be better if she could sleep all night in her own room, so we've been doing this for a couple of weeks, but she is waking at least every 2 hours and shouting which is waking everyone up. We've tried reassuring but not making too much of it, and I think it is probably worth sticking with, but now nobody is getting much sleep. My priority is the DC's sleep as it's so important for their development, but I'm finding it difficult going between the two DC all night too as they each wake two hourly at different intervals and I'm studying in the evenings to retrain. I'd always felt it didn't matter as such a short time in our lives that they are little but I think it's probably affecting my health a bit now and my ability to be patient and engaged every day! The two hourly wake ups for years were manageable but with both at the same time it feels like a tipping point
I don't think DC2 is ready to move to own room at the moment as still feeding two hourly and is very hungry each time (doesn't seem to feed for comfort as DC1 did) and I'd be in and out all night anyway.
DH has slept in spare room throughout and does get up with DD1 sometimes now, but he does a lot of driving for work and seems to struggle more with wake ups so we've just always done it this way.
I think the thing to do is probably stick it out with DD1 in her own room but I needed some solidarity this morning! DC2 just eating breakfast in high chair and DC1 running round garden while I write this and I'm feeling guilty for being on phone so I'll get back to it now but any advice is welcomed!