Is it normal for DD(5) to be this jealous?

[MemoriesOnTheBeach]

DD(5) has always been quite anxious and in the past her nursery has pointed out that she doesn’t like to talk to anyone. I was about to take this further despite DH thinking I should leave it but lockdown happened and the problem was lessened for obvious reasons.

She is also very jealous and insecure. For example she’s really into her looks, begs for makeup and asks me constantly if she’s beautiful. I tell her she’s beautiful with or without makeup and I’ve never been into it myself.

Lately she’s become very jealous. Whenever she sees my best friend she will ask her if she loves her more than me and will not stop asking. Recently my friends, as a joke for my birthday, pasted a picture of my face onto a balloon. DD would not stop crying because it was not her face on the balloon and this meant they loved me not her. No amount of reasoning and reassuring makes a difference. I thought this was quite extreme.

She has started regular school and things haven’t improved. I would like to speak to the staff about a possible diagnosis but DH is dead set against it because he thinks she will change and it’s just a phase.

Has anyone else been through this and does anyone have any advice. Is it a passing phase or and indicator of a possible condition? It’s actually exhausting because I spend a lot of time giving reassurance that never seems to work.

Any strategies or advice would be great.

I don’t know about it being any particular condition (my son has autism and anxiety, but not anxiety in that type of way), but no, I don’t think that’s a remotely normal level or type of anxiety for a five year old.

You won’t get a diagnosis of anything quickly, or for something likely to be a passing phase. You won’t get a diagnosis from school staff either, but I think that’s where I’d start the conversation - have you discussed with the school senco, or a school family support worker if your school have one? It really does sound like something you should seek professional help for. Apart from anything else it must be pretty awful for your child thinking that way.

I have a 5 year old, she can be really irrational and impossible to reason with. We have had tantrums about similar things, if one of her friends gives her sister any attention whatsoever she's been known to scream the house down and stomp off in a huff. She has daily meltdowns about the most trivial of things and is very emotional. She has not always been like this, I really think it's a stage. For us tiredness is a big trigger to this type of behaviour.

My daughter is also really into her looks. We try to keep mirrors inaccessible and constantly remind her that there are far more important things than looks, which we don't place any value on (even though she does!)