Pursue PGCE/PG DIP whilst IVF

[Idk12345]

Hi all,
So I've been very conflicted recently. I worked as a HLTA in secondary school but took 2020/2021 out of work to focus on IVF. Ended up being a BFN. Now I do hope to go for treatment again (just saving for it) either this Nov or the Jan of 2022. However I've also been thinking I need to be productive again. Should I apply for my postgrad coming this September or will I be adding too much unnecessary pressure on myself on top of the TTC and IVF? Other option is to look for some part time work. Honestly open to any suggestions.

Also I am currently 30. And this is what predominantly puts me off. I feel as though I've started the IVF process, though it failed I feel as though now I'm in it to just keep going. The other hand it's as though I want to carry on with life.

Any advice or thought guys?

I wouldn’t. They are both very intense.

I did the PGCE 20 years ago while my children were early teens. It was very demanding. I think you need to give yourself the best chance for IVF to work and as little added stress as possible. Find a pt job to keep your mind occupied. Leave the PGCE at present; you will always be able to get a place on the course.

I taught during my (failed) IVFs and it was horrendous. Fine for those for whom it works first time but not if it doesn’t.

I wouldn’t do a PGCE simultaneously under any circumstances.

@Fitforforty @angstridden2 @lividblabber
Thanks for the responses ladies. I guess I am maybe underestimating how intense the PGCE may be. And yes I agree about awfulness of carrying on working and IVF failure. I was honestly shocked at how badly I took it, I couldn't imagine getting up to go back to work.

Would any you advise doing one or ther other?

You can only do either if fully committed. Why were you doing ivf now and are you committed to another round?

I would avoid a PGCE to anyone with a large personal situation that requires their time and headspace. I didn't find my PGCE too intense, but it was challenging and the NQT year was hard.

If you did breeze through a PGCE whilst doing IVF, you'd probably be on maternity before you get an NQT post, which means you'll have a year out the classroom before you've even started your first post. It's better to do it when you've got the time to dedicate to it.

Crack on - we had 8 rounds, if I'd have stalled my career whilst doing it I'd be very behind indeed.

I do have my beautiful DS, he is wonderful ❤

I wouldn't aim for a life in teaching if you want to be a hands on parent. From my experience with friends, it sounds like a miserable existence and they are exhausted. I am a lecturer (so a teacher, but very different setting) and I work long hours but have maximum flexibility, can take annual leave whenever I want it, take time out to do the school runs, work flexibly as and when I need to. I think it's great to commit to a career and plan for the future, but I wouldn't pick one that was notorious for being so miserable if having a family is important to you and you want to have time to focus on family in the future.

I agree with others, I wouldn't do anything stressful whilst doing a PGCE. I'd crack on with the IVF if I were you, maybe upskill with some relevant courses so you're in the best possible position when you do start. The option to do a PGCE will always be there.

I've been through unsuccessful IVF too. It's awful. But I didn't (and wouldn't) put my life on hold for it. To be honest, the idea of taking a year out to focus on IVF sounds horrendous to me. The pressure that you end up putting in yourself must surely be incredibly stressful? Whilst there were obviously the few days I needed to take off from work when I went through it, I generally lived my life as normal. The sad truth is that IVF is unlikely to work and most of the time, it's absolutely nothing to do with what we did or didn't do at the time.

@LolaSmiles @mindutopia hmm yes agree with botose things. Is there a time limit for NQT? Can I delay that or is that not a good idea?

@HavelockVetinari
8 rounds???
Congrats on your blessing though ☺️

@ejhhhhh thanks for replying

@mynameiscalypso hmmm it was the opposite for me. I'd been in a job and relatively settled with the colleagues. However that final year just became too tough for me. Watching women I'd worked with go on to 'accidentally' conceive back to back and not appreciate it, and other women who just fall pregnant at the drop of a hat became too difficult for me to see

@LividBlabber
Yes I see what you mean. I chose to do IVF now as I had been trying for almost 5 years. And at 30 I'd felt like I should try it. The thing I actually want more than anything is to be a mother. It's devastating that that isn't happening for me right now

We’re just to start our fifth round & second year of IVF. I agree, don’t stall your career for it.

However my understanding is that the PGCE requires blocks of teaching which is very hard to square up with IVF appointments. Of all the professions where I’ve seen friends take career breaks solely to concentrate on IVF, teaching is #1.

Can you go back to your HLTA role? Maybe part time? To do the PGCE now would mean parking the IVF for realistically three years. How would you feel about that?

Obviously serving teachers do have IVF, as people in other jobs and professions do.
But the PGCE is ten extremely intensive months. Our 20-21 trainees finished this week and all bar one said it had been physically and mentally so much harder and all-consuming than they had expected (the other was more maybe just more realistic and knew how tough it would be).

During their year, a few continued with shifts of bar work or other evening/ weekend shift jobs they had had through uni to help support themselves through. They rrally, really struggled with trying to split their attention and there not being enough hours in the day. They all passed, but I only think one of the group of workers did as well as they might have done. They certainly all came to us highly stressed at times.

This year's trainees with children managed as they are classed as keyworkers so were in school or childcare throughout but all their paryners also flexed their jobs considerably for the duration to share the drop offs and pick-ups and to free time for the trainee to work in the evenings and at weekends. Not easy, but they all said juggling and time-management was already a feature of their lives and they saw this year as short-term pain for long-term gain. All are looking for part time teaching jobs for their first year.

I genuinely can't imagine the step up from what I have described as the pressures on those trainees to the added pressures of IVF alongside a PGCE. You need your major health, energy and attention, I think, for either, and I just don't think they could be compatible. One or the other would be my advice, and from what you are saying, IVF is the top priority for you now.

I’ve done both (a PGCE and IVF) and I can categorically say do not do it to yourself.
My PGCE was gruelling and I was an energetic 22 year old then...IVF was also gruelling and even though I’d been teaching for 8 years by then, severely affected my ability to give everything I needed to the job.

Be kind to yourself.

I worked through IVF (one round, then two frozen transfers). I found absorbing myself in work was great, as devoting myself solely to IVF would have sent me round the twist. My job was desk based and my employer quite flexible. You have to decide if you need the distraction of studying and whether you can schedule the part just before/ after egg collection to be at a point when you aren’t in the classroom. It’s only a few weeks so it would be shame to delay things by a whole year.

I'm a secondary teacher just starting my fifth transfer round, but I've had three extra rounds that were all cancelled part way through so a ridiculous amount of appointments. It is an absolute nightmare trying to juggle the appointments with teaching. Often appointments are short notice so you have to take the time slot given. I get very stressed having to put in an absence request the day before or sometimes the day of an appointment. You have to write cover lessons (time consuming) and of course another member of staff has to cover your lessons. Add exam groups into the mix and it's even worse.

But... I'm 3 1/2 yes into ttc (inc surgery and other treatments) and 1 1/2 years into ivf and I have had enough of putting my life on hold for ttc things. The amount of holidays, nights out, house renovations we've put on the back burner just makes me feel I've been wasting my life.

My mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer whilst I was doing my pgce. It was a very shitty and hard time but I did make it. The difference is you obviously want to minimise stress for ivf.

I can't give you an answer as it's all so personal. If I could afford to quit teaching while I did my ivf I would, but I can't so I just have to plough on. I do get a bit upset on the ivf forums where people talk about taking a week off after transfer to be all calm, whereas I have to be in the classroom the next day. I'm just letting you know some of my thoughts on it all that you may not have considered.

You are young though. I think doing just one round during a PGCE is likely fine. I am older so as soon as one fails for me I'm trying to book in the next go ASAP.

It's just all so personal. Have you looked into part time? That may be better for you. I work 4 days and that 1 day has made the difference to me being able to just about cope.

We had a trainee teacher in our dept this year. She was the most laid back woman and was just never stressed. We have all the resources for all projects ready so she didn't really have to do lesson prep. I swear she didn't even always look at the PowerPoint until the lesson itself. She was lucky to be in a school like ours. I think that's pretty rare though - I was often up until after midnight doing lesson prep etc when I did my pgce.

The only thing kid friendly about teaching is the school holidays (if they line up with your own child's). My 4 year old dd goes to breakfast club and after school club, so has long days. Especially recently with more jobs offering flexible working I do feel jealous of the parents who are able to drop off and/or pick up at normal school hours. I can't go as a parent volunteer on trips, I can't go to the sports day etc.

Sorry, that was very long.

PGCE was the most stressful year of my life. Harder than my masters degree. I’ve never been through ivf but my understanding is you want to be as stress free as possible. If this is true PGCE should be the last thing you do in my opinion

@Porridgeislife thanks for replying. And that's interesting to know about your friends who are teacher. I don't have any who are teachers and have had fertility struggles so that was an interesting perspective to hear

@LividBlabber I genuinely think I'd panic or regret it I paused it for 3 years. I'd be 33/34 by then and I know the consultants will start talking about my 'older age'