Normal 12yr old girl behaviour?

[4PawsGood]

I am trying to work out if what DD is experiencing if it’s just par for the course or not.

Her year just seem really mean! Lots of eye rolling and ‘did we ask?’ ‘no one cares’ when people speak. Audible laughing behind backs, repeating what they say in class in their accent. Teachers don’t comment. Saying behind teachers backs that they hate said teachers and they deserve to die (the not young/cool/pretty ones). A very small group of extreme ‘nerds’, the rest constantly doing their hair and makeup.

Just seems really shit.

DD is 13 and I just asked her and read out your question and she says it's normal.

Toxic and awful but normal.

It gets better in a year or two according to my 16 year old DD. She says this age is the WORST of all in high school.

Sorry for DD...and all of them!

I have children similar age to fortunes and I agree, 12/13 is a horrible age for a lot of girls. By 15/16 they start maturing a little more. Social media probably doesn't help either tbh. I just keep reiterating with my kids that nice, kind people will go further in life and so far it's working.

Me too Barefoot but it's hard isn't it because I see DD's behaviour is influenced by the culture of fear they all live in. Fear of being a nerd! They MUST look perfect and say the 'right things' in case they're ostracized. How exhausting!

they grow out of it. at this age they think they look big and clever doing it. when in reality they look like vile bitches.

Normal. We have had this as well. Lots of bitchiness, girls telling other friends lies to stir so they argue. Lots of falling out. I was expecting friendship group problems but jessssssssus!

I know fortunes 🙄 Luckily my older dd is very goth/alternative and happy not to be part of the in crowd, she'd rather be a nerd than an 'eyebrows' girl as she calls them. Hoping younger dd will be the same but time will tell...

Unfortunately among girls there's lots of bitching, backstabbing and falling out on whatsapp and Snapchat, then oohing and aahing and "so pretty babe" on Instagram, followed by "what the hell does she look like" ....

Oh, to be a teenage girl again...no thanks

@BarefootHippieChick

I know fortunes 🙄 Luckily my older dd is very goth/alternative and happy not to be part of the in crowd, she'd rather be a nerd than an 'eyebrows' girl as she calls them. Hoping younger dd will be the same but time will tell...

Unfortunately among girls there's lots of bitching, backstabbing and falling out on whatsapp and Snapchat, then oohing and aahing and "so pretty babe" on Instagram, followed by "what the hell does she look like" ....

Oh, to be a teenage girl again...no thanks

Mine too but unfortunately, so are half of her class! There is a clean split in her class of eyebrow girls and alternative girls. The boys seem bewildered and stuck in no-man's land!

Oh and they're ALL bitchy!

Yep it's normal I'm afraid according to Dd (12)

Although not heard of an "eyebrow girl" ? Who, or What is one of these please ?🙈

An eyebrow girl is a girl who has 'those' eyebrows...you know, the heavily drawn on black sharpie ones

The boys seem bewildered and stuck in no-mans land

This is too funny, and totally true!

My eldest is a bit younger (11, year 6) but the majority of girls in her class are like that. She is too to some extent but is more of a loner and isn't in the clique.

It is such a difficult age!

@BarefootHippieChick

An eyebrow girl is a girl who has 'those' eyebrows...you know, the heavily drawn on black sharpie ones

Oh god 🙈🙈 yep I know the type

We abandoned school in year 8 it was so awful and DD went back in year 10 when it had all settled down again.

Yup sadly. Dd is 12 and says girls are incredibly bitchy and it’s quite difficult. Social media doesn’t help either.

I don’t know whether to find that reassuring or depressing. Thanks everyone though!

To be completely honest, if I knew how awful teenage girls are, I don’t think I’d have had children. Both mine were bullied, both self harmed. My eldest (22) still doesn’t trust very easily. She doesn’t have a mean streak. Youngest was affected worse, to the point she had to move schools, but has coped better. I think that’s because she has a very nasty streak like most of the other girls seem to. She’s 20 now and life’s a bit calmer, but I’m not over it yet - I’m blaming my grey hairs on teenage girls.

@UnitedRoad did changing schools help? If so, how can you tell if a school is going to be a bit better? My DD is absolutely miserable.

@4PawsGood sorry for late reply.

For my daughter I don’t think it did help. She moved to the other secondary school in our small town, and with social media being what it is now, after a few hours, everyone knew who she was and why she’d moved so it didn’t feel like a fresh start at all. I also think it started her off on a ‘running away from problems’ track. She ended up missing a lot of school and doing badly in her exams. I was under the impression that you could retake GCSEs at college (as you could in the 80s), but it’s not the case anymore (apart from Maths and English).

I’m not suggesting for a second it would be the same for your daughter, but in my opinion starting a new school in the same area might not be the best idea. Mine was really really really troubled by the time we moved her. Maybe we left it too late, I don’t know but will always find a way to blame myself.

If you want to pm me, please do.