Adult children and sex

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Ds1 is 20, far too old for me to be thinking about this for the first time, I suppose, but he was 18yo when he was last able to socialise. It feels like he's gone from being a child to a man without any transition period iyswim.

Anyway, he's been out a lot in the last few weeks so I knew something had changed and he's now told me about his 18yo girlfriend.

I'm really pleased that young people can live a bit again and we've had a conversation about respect and staying safe etc (which again he's too old for and it's not the first time, but..). I've told him he can invite her round any time. He's been to her house and met her parents (has brought cake home made by her mother, so I guess they don't hate him).

Anyway, If they're not already I imagine there'll be some sex. I do think they should have somewhere safe and comfortable to go, but I don't want to hear it in the room next door to mine!

What do young adults , living at home, do about sex? My parents would never have allowed us in my bedroom when I was that age which is one of the reasons I married very young

Unless you actually hear it then don’t think about it; I’d expect them to be really quiet and most likely do it earlier in the evening when you’re not in your room. Unless you’re going to say she can’t be in his bedroom then you’re not going to stop it happening and really he’s too old to to be saying that

I think people ‘get into relationships’ far to young, far too seriously nowadays.

My grandparents met in the 40s and got married at 17 - children didn't come along for a few years but they were trying the whole time.

My parents met in the 70s and got married and had me at 18.

We met in the 90s and got married and had children in the 00s - when I was 24.

@legotruck

I think people ‘get into relationships’ far to young, far too seriously nowadays.

My grandparents met in the 40s and got married at 17 - children didn't come along for a few years but they were trying the whole time.

My parents met in the 70s and got married and had me at 18.

We met in the 90s and got married and had children in the 00s - when I was 24.

Yes, my parents and grandparents too. Once they were in their late teens it was time to start ‘settling down’. I don’t think it’s the norm nowadays.

They will probably just use her house if there is more chance of her house being empty. Or if they can afford it they might do overnight trips in hotels etc.

My 22 year old son moved out earlier this year. At 19, he had one girlfriend of 18 months who would stay over a couple of times a week. He wasn't allowed to stay at her parents' house but they were OK with her stopping at mine.

I'm not puritanical about sex so didn't mind. It's only sex, they were adults and behaving responsibly. If there had been any lack of respect - loud sex, sexualised flirting in front of me or his younger sister etc - I'd have said something but I'm not going to tell an adult they can't have sex under my roof

@NannyAndJohn

DS needs to get his own place where they can bang to their hearts content.

Wouldn't be happening under my roof.

At 20? Why?

It’s interesting that some people think it’s ok to have sex with their own partner/husband ‘under the same roof’ as their adult children but don’t apply the same rules to them.