Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

16/17 year old kicked out of college - what now

73 replies

Nobranothanks · 11/06/2021 16:21

I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation and could advise what the next steps are?

DSS17 has just been kicked out of college for behaving like a muppet (for the record I'm v close to DSS before the wicked step mother police appear 😊)

we've found out today that he has done nothing but misbehave and behave like a pleb for the entire year - he was like this at school, hence going to college instead as he much prefers practical things to academic.

The issue is he must stay in education until 18. The college will flat out not accept him back for next year on any course. His plan was always to do an apprenticeship instead of college however competition is so high in our area that he was unable to get one. Obviously he will try again for next year.

My question is, has anyone been in this situation? What happens if he cannot get an apprenticeship and is therefore not in education next year? Does anyone have any experience?

OP posts:
FAQs · 11/06/2021 17:18

He hasn’t found his thing yet, is he more entrepreneur than academic? If so could something like the Princes Trust help.

Panaesthesia · 11/06/2021 17:20

I'm not sure there's anything that can be done. If he's determined to fuck up his education and his chances then he will continue to do so.

"Entrepreneur", I mean really, if he can't even complete basic college sessions he's not exactly going to whip up a bloody business. He sounds immature and clearly isn't afraid of the life he's heading for.

Advise him that he is expected to get a job and pay his way or he is to move out. Adult life is hard. He blew his chance to remain in education so it's time for the hard lessons.

Rummikub · 11/06/2021 17:22

Careers service for advice- round here they record and support NEET.
Does he have any English / maths
GCSE/ functional skills?

Widen the search radius in government apprenticeship site

A lot of apprenticeships don’t require English and maths but some will.

Nothing really happens when NEET. Except Child benefit stops.

Sometimes a wake up call is needed. So maybe give him a month or so to get bored. Seeing his peers get on may be the motivation he needs.

He should be able to do NCS- they will offer work experience and cv support.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

17 years old Higher education
Original poster
Nobranothanks · 11/06/2021 17:24

He is definitely not academic - no bad thing in that - he has so much potential and it's infuriating! Hopefully he can get a job in the area that interests him and it will be the making of him!

OP posts:
Rummikub · 11/06/2021 17:26

Arc 16+ if he has a job that is ok. Hospitality are desperate to recruit.

He can apply for more than one thing and see which happens first.

Sightlinesandsolutions · 11/06/2021 17:26

Perhaps you could sit him down, explain that he is nearly an adult and expected to be independent and pay his own way from age 18 onwards? Look at the cost of rent, utilities, food, etc. together and compare that with an apprentice/minimum wage. Then explain that if he is not in full-time education from now until 18, he will be expected to contribute his share of household costs starting immediately, perhaps 400 or so per month or move out. That should focus his mind. By all means, do look into any learning disabilities he may have but that doesn't change the fact that he needs to take responsibility for his own behaviour now. I don't think an isolated event like this will "shock" him into maturity, he will have to take responsibility, in the long, boring, neverending term, for his actions and decisions for that to happen. And perhaps also point out that he will have severely impacted on other people's learning as well as his own.

Jaxhog · 11/06/2021 17:27

If he's not in college, then he needs to be working surely?

toocold54 · 11/06/2021 17:29

I think an apprenticeship sounds perfect for him as not only are they hands on but they’re also in workplaces with paid workers so they can become role models. I’m sure he’s less likely to act like an idiot around a bunch of men than his classmates.

Jaxhog · 11/06/2021 17:30

He hasn’t found his thing yet, is he more entrepreneur than academic? If so could something like the Princes Trust help.

This made me laugh! He would need a good idea first, and be prepared to work bloody hard. Which seems rather unlikely.

AvocadoPlant · 11/06/2021 17:31

My friends DD dropped out of her college course part way through the first year (y12), and got a few temp jobs through enrolling at a temp agency. She’s now working at a local factory and is actively looking for apprenticeships - though she also likes the (relatively) well paid wages from the factory!

purplecorkheart · 11/06/2021 17:34

Sorry but without you giving examples (none identifying examples) it is hard to advise. Acting the muppet etc is open to interpretation. What were the consequences to his behaviour were there when he was younger? Has he had any intervention/assessment etc? What is his behaviour at home etc?

FAQs · 11/06/2021 18:15

I know a few successful entrepreneurs, who Ive assisted in the last 10 years, two of which are millionaires, never finished school, they are chaotic thinkers, couldn’t settle, didn’t and still don’t like authority, it’s actually a fairly common trait in successful business owners, with the right support and encouragement and ideas it certainly can work, one learned his trade at youth offenders, he saw a gap in the market!

I’ve done alright and left school at 17 and do not have any GCSEs, many people thrive once the pressure of School is removed. Especially those who are bright, as stated by the OP, intelligent comes via many forms and not always measured by grades.

OPs step son might not be, however the narrow minds of many who indeed may laugh, can end up being overtaken by those taking the less traditional route, hence why organisations such the Princes Trust exist in the first place.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 11/06/2021 18:17

To answer your question nothing will happen apart from whoever claims child benefit for him will stop getting it
There is no legal requirement to be in education after 16, ie the government won't come after you or prosecute you. He can't get a full time job though.

Sumerisicumenin · 11/06/2021 18:27

The difficulty in getting a job or an apprenticeship will be his immature behaviour. Learning disabilities, additional needs make accessing hard enough, but some places will go out of their way to be inclusive.
But a joker/jack the lad who might seriously cock up, lose them trade, be a H&S risk, refuse to comply? Few businesses will take that chance.
What are his interests and skill set?
It sounds like he’s heading into the black economy zone.,

TheWeeDonkey · 11/06/2021 18:39

At 17 its way too young to write him off yet. Therea are still opportunities out there for him.

DS dropped out of college at that age, then went on to an access type course that lead to an apprenticeship which really sparked his ambition and now he's at uni doing a course related to that which will hopefully open up his opportunities further.

Its worth having a meeting with college to see what his options are or if they can put him in touch with other training providers.

Most importantly its a very silly thing he's done but its a learning experience for him and hopefully he will make the most of whatever he chooses to do next.

Original poster
Nobranothanks · 11/06/2021 19:47

Brilliant advice here - thanks so much. Our main concern was he would be in trouble if he got a job and I can't find a straight answer anywhere as to whether that's OK.

In terms of potential and options - he needs to grow up a bit. Once he has I have absolutely no doubt that he will prosper. I had an "alternative" education so am far far from being a school and college is all type and am well versed in the options for those with no gcse's etc 😊

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 11/06/2021 20:32

Sounds as though the traditional education system wasn't good for him, this website may have some helpful solutions.

www.livesinthebalance.org/walking-tour-parents

he needs to grow up a bit many kids with additional needs have an emotional age around three quarters of their chronological age, maybe see about a referral to asses his strengths and challenges?

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep · 11/06/2021 20:33

@Nobranothanks

Brilliant advice here - thanks so much. Our main concern was he would be in trouble if he got a job and I can't find a straight answer anywhere as to whether that's OK.

In terms of potential and options - he needs to grow up a bit. Once he has I have absolutely no doubt that he will prosper. I had an "alternative" education so am far far from being a school and college is all type and am well versed in the options for those with no gcse's etc 😊

He can work part time but no employer will give him full time hours or they would get fined
MistySkiesAfterRain · 11/06/2021 20:40

Princes Trust:

www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/get-job/get-experience

CormoranStrike · 11/06/2021 20:43

Can’t quite, but why would an employer be fined for giving him full time hours?

CormoranStrike · 11/06/2021 20:43

-*quote

MistySkiesAfterRain · 11/06/2021 20:43

What aspirations does he have or do you think he would be good at?

Mugsen · 11/06/2021 20:49

Maybe try an apprenticeship with the local authority. I say that because I know they can be extremely fair and willing to train. But somebody needs to instill into him a work ethic. Who do you think is going to pay him for a day's work? I seriously can't think anybody would. I would be bloody furious with my DC. They don't keep getting opportunities. It stops.

BalloonSlayer · 11/06/2021 20:50

He can get a job.

Any job for a 16/17 year old will inevitably involve training so it meets the criteria.

Don't despair , he'll be OK.

MadMadMadamMim · 11/06/2021 20:51

I'm lurking here in the uneasy expectation that this will be us next year. DS16 is going to be extremely lucky to get into 6th form having done sweet fuck all for most of the last two years.

If he does I can't see him progressing past Y12 and am already dreading it. He sounds a kindred spirit to your DSS. I was wondering what happened if they kicked him out at 17, because we're rural and nowhere else will take him. Few apprenticeships available round here - we looked, and yes, his attitude/grades mean that there are many better applicants.

Hope you get something sorted with your boy, OP.