Regular poster but NC. Please be gentle. I met a man I have completely fallen for. We’ve been exclusive for 8 months. He is everything I wanted in someone, we cry laughing together, he is kind and caring and we enjoy the same things.
But the only time we have had sex is after we were tipsy and it was intermittent and he didn’t finish. It wasn’t bad...but the first time is often getting used to each other and that’s the first and last time it’s happened.
I’ve asked him about it. He says he wants to take things slow. Then weeks go by and nothing changes. I have tried touching him and showing him I’m ready and he all but brushes me off.
I’ve given him blow jobs and he ejaculates. He touches me and goes down on me. He likes grinding and being naked together, he’s nearly always hard. He’s passionate and we hold each other when naked.
I’ve asked a bit about his history with sex and from what I can tell he’s had two one night stands at university (a long time ago now!) and then some sex possibly over 3 months during a short relationship a few years back.
I am utterly confused and frustrated. He is great though and obviously I don’t want to push it as that feels awful and pressuring. I’ve even asked if he isn’t interested in sex and never sees himself having much sex and he says no, just that he wants to take things slow. I’ve asked if there’s a problem or he’s worried about anything, he says no. He’s very into touching like holding hands and cuddling too, and like I say he goes down and enjoys oral.
I just don’t know what to do really. I want to be with him but this has never happened to me before?! It feels awful to ask him to have sex, he needs to want to completely himself. I’m a bit gutted as I’ve dated so much and met him and really love him. We’ve said we love each other.
Any ideas?!