Reciprocating neighbour sharing her baking

[Kinsters]

My neighbour loves to bake and cook and is really very good at it. She often shares what she bakes and DH thinks we should reciprocate by baking and giving stuff to her. But I don't bake and neither does he!

I do reciprocate in other ways like if I can do something for her or if I'm buying something special I'll sometimes pick something up for her. But I don't bake! I'm bad at it! I'll make my DD banana muffins or something like that for her breakfast but they seem a bit of an odd thing to give.

What would you do? Would you feel obliged to try and bake something nice enough to share? Or just take the view that neighbourly giving is according to what you have available and not something that you make specially. I'm definitely overthinking this but DH is of the former view and I'm the later so I'm second guessing myself.

Definitely not. Just be a good neighbour. I know it sounds daft but if she loves baking you’re probably doing her a favour by eating it for her! If you start trying to reciprocate you’ll make it awkward. It’s not a transaction.

No I wouldn’t be baking for her. If she wanted to eat that many cakes she would them all herself. Keep giving the occasion gift, flowers or things from your garden if your that way inclined.

I don’t think she wants to swap baked goods with you. She probably cooks too much and enjoys feeding people she likes. Don’t worry about it. Just be a nice neighbour and you’ve reciprocated nicely 👌

can't bake, don't bake

she's not expecting you to. do other stuff you can

sounds like a nice relationship

Ok I'm glad you all agree! We have a lovely relationship, I got super lucky when I moved in next to her.

Just hand your DH a bowl and wooden spoon and leave him to it, surely, since he feels so strongly about it?
Otherwise if I could bake I’d much rather have offers like ‘I’m going to IKEA, do you need anything’ rather than yet more cake.

No, don't bake for her! You are definitely doing her a favour by being a grateful recipient (speaking as the baker in this situation).

Maybe the occasional bottle of wine or bunch of flowers to say thank you?

I bake for my neighbour. She's now a bit worried about it not being fair. But she's a great neighbour & it's good for me to share! I don't want any food back, I'm already quite large enough. 😊

Ooh no, don't bake! It's virtually impossible to only bake in small amounts, so those of us who enjoy it but don't want to eat (all) the results are always grateful to people who'll take some off our hands.

If you really want to give something back, maybe invite her in for a cup of tea/glass of wine next time?

Totally agree, I love baking but if I did it as often as I wanted to I'd end up with way too much stuff or just me, DH and DS (as much as he assures me he'd be fine if he just ate cake ). If I shared the stuff I'd baked and someone reciprocated I'd be back where I started with too much cake...

God no, she's giving you the product of her hobby. It's not a call to action. Though if your DH feels compelled then let him get on with it but don't take this on.

I’m the neighbour, but not actually. I bake a lot and often take my friend up the road a loaf of bread, biscuits for her son etc. She cooks but never bakes and I’d hate her to think she had to reciprocate in kind. She has a much bigger garden than we do and some amazing toys so we spend more than there than here and she does things like pick me up some hot cross buns when she’s got some from the shop. It’s equal and mutually caring and supportive - we play to our strengths!

Oh my days... Are you my neighbour??? I take baking to my neighbour all the time!!

Once every few months I would give her a nice little candle. I recommend St Eval, or some flowers. She obviously loves baking and gets pleasure from sharing it with you. A token of your appreciation once in a while will be much appreciated. She also probably doesn't want baking in her home if she is baking loads anyway

I wouldn't bake for her.

Suggestions of what you could do:

Invite for afternoon tea, you provide the savoury food and fizz, you share her cakes

Homemade sloe (insert anything in here) gin/vodka

Carry on as you are with the flowers, wine etc

If baking isn’t your specialty and you don’t often do it then no, no need to especially start baking for your neighbour. I’m sure neighbour only shares what she makes as she is a keen/passionate baker. Just do what you’re doing such as being a good neighbour and maybe get her an occasional box of biscuits or chocolates x

I bake all the time, and often give some to my neighbours, partly because I don't want to pile on weight by eating it all myself! I'm just happy if they enjoy it and would never want anything back in return.

Ooh no don't bake. I bake and give to my neighbours because I enjoy baking a lot more than we want to eat (It's really therapeutic). I don't expect anything in return although occasionally a neighbour will send chocolate for the dc or a plant for the garden.

Do not bake. She clearly likes baking but doesn't want to eat all the goodies. It would be different if she's feeling obligated to bake for you o something, but that's clearly not the case.

Also, your DH feels you should reciprocate - is he going to be doing this baking?

Be neighbourly - help in whatever way seems appropriate/helpful and, if you still feel you benefit more than she does, buy her some flowers. We have a lovely relationship with our neighbours but it's entirely based on our respective strengths. He gets us to print things when his printer dies, and we get goodies from their garden. DH does their bins when they're away, and they feed our cat. For example.

I love to bake, but there are only 2 of us here and I'm trying to lose weight so I'm always giving away my stuff and don't expect anything back in return. I just enjoy baking it.

You both sound like lovely thoughtful neighbours .

DH doesn't expect me to do the baking. He knows I only just about manage to cook our dinner!

I bake for my neighbour and don't expect anything in return, I'm sure if yours expected more than what you give her already she'd either suggest it or stop baking for you.

If your husband wants to bake her something then why not? It's a nice thing to do.

I love baking but we can never eat everything so it’s nice to share what I have made. My neighbour is always helping us with gardening in return. I would give her something like a nice independent made jam/curd/local honey and nice flowers as a sign of appreciation.

I love to bake and the reason I don’t more often is because suddenly I’ll realise that DH and I have eaten a whole cake in a day. So I bake and invite people in. But a pandemic makes it harder.

If she thought you should reciprocate she wouldn’t keep giving it. I’d probably try and buy her a nice gift at Christmas etc though. With a nice little note saying thanks for all the cake.