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I am scared of sex and it’s ruining my life

2 replies

Wortier1839 · 10/06/2021 10:37

I had medical management of a miscarriage a while ago. It was early but it was scary and afterwards I was screened for infection as I had some symptoms and BV came back positive. I was treated for pelvic inflammatory in the meantime as a precaution.

I have since been terrified of getting pelvic inflammatory. It dominates my thoughts and I am scared for my partner to even touch me down there unless he has thoroughly washed his hands and the bed is clean etc.

I have been to my GP and discussed it. They said that there was never any evidence I had pelvic inflammatory and if I did it was treated. She said BV is not a common cause of pelvic inflammatory and that if I got BV again it wouldn’t automatically go to pelvic inflammatory. I have read though that if you have pelvic inflammatory once then you are likely to get it again.

I am so scared all of the time and the thought of having sex outside ovulation time (ie having sex just for fun) is off the table for me. I just don’t want to. I worry so much afterwards as you feel like something has been inside don’t you (sorry if tmi!) but it automatically makes me think I’m infected.

I just don’t know what to do. A private doctor offered me metronidazole to take every 3 months so I could manage in my head that any infection like BV was treated. I’m just so stressed all the time. Don’t know what I’m asking really, just feel sad. I have talked about it in therapy for a long time now.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 10/06/2021 10:42

Do you think the therapy has made any difference?

This sounds so hard for you but it’s also going to take a hell of a toll on your relationship. I can understand being desperate to ttc after a loss, I’ve been there, but your partner must be feeling awful about this too and treating him and sex like a job like this is going to be really damaging. Would it help to take ttc off the table for a bit?

Wortier1839 · 10/06/2021 10:44

Thanks for replying @AnneLovesGilbert we are not at the moment. But I’m just scared of sex. When we have done it I worry so so much. Even him touching me there is stressful for me. I just want a family and feel like until then I will always worry I am damaging myself by having sex.

I have changed therapists and all sorts but the worry remains. DP is lovely and never pushes for sex and we have intimacy in other ways. It’s just horrible though feeling like this

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