Screaming 4 yr old.

[ImFree2doasiwant]

Dc2 is 4. He is pretty amazing most of the time. He's bright, funny, independent. Excellent speech. So why (whhhhhyyyyy!!) does he scream and shout about putting his shoes on/going upstairs to bed/getting in the bath/getting out of the bath/anything he doesn't want to do. Goes from happy abd fine to screamibg/shouting/crying. Complains at me about whatever it is, tells me I'm not doing the right things/being bad mummy.

It's wearing me down, and honestly, pushing me off.

I do the warning thing (leaving in 10, 5 minutes til we need to go, shoes on in 2 minutes etc). Makes no difference apart from sometimes he'll start screaming easier, and go on for longer.

I get that he doesn't always want to do what I say, but this is non negotiable and stuff that happens every single day.

Help/advice needed please

No real advice I'm afraid but my 4yo is going through a throwing himself on the floor crying stage if he doesn't want to do something. I feel your frustration!

You’d think we murder my 4 year old every morning the way she screams and cries over having her hair brushed! I think it’s just the way 4 year olds are made tbh. Makes us grateful when they finally start school. Lessens the screaming.

It is REALLY frustrating. And so bloody annoying, to have such a reaction over the smallest thing. If it was leaving soft play/park or not being allowed chocolate for breakfast i could understand it.

Dc1 did not do this!

Dc1 did do this for me so it hasn't come as much of a shock, although DC2 definitely pushes the boundaries more. He's also a lot louder. He starts school in September and he really needs it!

Mine does too. On one hand I can't wait, he needs it, and on the other, I'll miss my baby!

What do you actually do to deal with it?

It varies, sometimes I try to reason with him. Obviously that doesn't usually work. Sometimes I count to 10 and if he doesn't calm down he loses his turn on the Switch or Xbox that day. Mostly I try to distract him by announcing that he's got a challenge to do and he's got to get his shoes on (or whatever) before I can finish what I'm doing (and then I find something to do). That tends to work as long as he's not really tired. If he's really tired then nothing works and I try to get him to bed!

He's currently lost the Switch until next Tuesday based on today's behaviour, which has involved throwing a stone out of his brother's bedroom window, screaming and throwing himself on the floor because it was dinner time, and tipping water on the floor at bedtime.

I took my four year old daughter to school in the car in just her pants this morning. I had got her dressed 10s of times. She is quite capable of getting herself dressed but recently she just hates everything. She obviously decided to get dressed once we got to school. She screams all the time and there is no need. I am possibly going to introduce a star chart. I wonder how she can be being well behaved at school when she fights me on everything at home.

Mine is exactly the same. It's exhausting and makes me feel like a dreadful mother.

You're not alone OP. My 4 yo DD is a screamer and a crier. It's relentless and if she's hungry or tired she's 100% worse. She does go to nursery every day but sometimes I dread picking her up at 1pm for the dramatics to start. Roll on September!

I have a still 4 year old in reception, believe me the rush to school and the after school tiredness = emotional screaming

@bouncystorm

I have a still 4 year old in reception, believe me the rush to school and the after school tiredness = emotional screaming

Yes. Mine's in school nursery, back this week after half term and today is the first day we've not had a complete, loud, emotional meltdown. I mean, so far, there's still time obviously

I'm hoping not! Dc1 was only just 4 starting reception, no screaming and still waiting for the tiredness.