adults obsessed with routines

[Missushbb]

hi, is this common? my sister in law is obsessed with times, totally inflexible if things don't fit her exact schedule.
this was pre kids too but she is much worse now with two kids.
so shopping has to be certain day, you can see her getting twitchy if it gets to a certain time and you're out, she always has to be home
for lunch at same time, goes to
bed at 8.30pm. Literally will run away to get home by a certain time.

it's quite stressful as you know if we're making plans to meet, it will either have to be at the crack of dawn, or she will say no!

Honestly, the person is often weighing up the benefits of doing something spontaneous/deviating from the usual versus stucking to the routine and deciding that that the costs outweigh the benefits. You're not required to agree with them, but they're the ones who have to live with the consequences either way.

I'm really quite strict with my routine these days.i used to be really flexible but friends started really annoying me with lateness and cancelling last minute. I also have a lot I want to do with my day and feel much happier with a set schedule.

If I'm taking the kids out for the day now I generally say to friends "I'm doing this,at this time,come of you like". There will be some degree of flexibility but I'm not bending for everyone anymore

I think it might be anxiety; I had major routine anxiety after I had my daughter, combined with, or triggered by, PND.

I'm a bit jealous tbh! Wish I could be more like your friend

I suffer with depression anxiety and I find a relaxed routine really helps me cope. Nothing is too strict because otherwise I feel extremely anxious and beat myself up I’ve not “achieving” the routine. If we all eat dinner at 7pm because that’s how long it takes then so be it (I have a 2 year old too). It has take a while to get here but it helps.

She may or may not suffer with anxiety. Some people think that children who don’t live by strict schedules are abused. It might just be her way?