How did an adult autism diagnosis change your life?

[redheadonascooter]

I have just done an online request to my GP for an adult ASD and ADD assessment. I've been building up to doing it for ages and even though I know waiting lists are huge and it'll take ages it feels like I've just taken a big step.

So, in the interim (whilst I'm waiting for probably two years) tell me about if/how your diagnosis as an adult changed things for you. Or if it didn't? Did you feel different? Better?

@BlackeyedSusan

The process was awful as you have to bring up your significant deficiencies. The result: legal protection. Better able to ask for help with difficult things. Good for when you are older and it all becomes too difficult to mask. Only recently diagnosed but it feels better to realise this will be difficult because I am autistic and to cut myself some slack and not expect myself to be NT.

This is interesting, thanks. Yes I had thought that actually this is going to involve me sitting there and telling them all of the things that I'm terrible at!

But you know, I don't feel so bad about being terrible at them anymore.

I've had a lifetime (well 37 years of my hopefully much longer lifetime) of being told I'm awkward, difficult, rude, blunt, and wondering why I am so bothered by things that other people aren't - or the opposite, I truly don't care about things that would really bother others. I recall someone being offended because I'd declined an invitation sent to me and DH (he didn't want to go either but was going to go out of not wanting to upset people). I didn't make an excuse, because I don't like to lie. I just said no thank you. They were an acquaintance not someone who is close to us and DH said 'X is going to be so offended that we're not going to the party, they'll think we're so rude' etc etc etc and I realised that I truly didn't care. At all. I told him as much, that unless someone's opinion really mattered to me than I didn't care at all if they liked me or not, or think badly of me etc. DH likes to be liked. I think that is more 'normal'.

Do you wish you'd been diagnosed as a child?

Yes and no, honestly (although I am not diagnosed yet so I can't be 100% that I am autistic although I think I am).

I feel for my mum. She struggled massively with me as a child and I know the strain of my behaviour had an impact of her and my Dads relationship. They divorced when I was 5. She was then for all intents and purposes (no 50/50 custody in the 80s, Dad had us one day a week from 9-5) raising two of us alone and I know I was hard hard work. I threw epic 'tantrums' well past the normal age. I was always 'naughty' and 'spoiled' (I wasn't, we were skint!) and a problem eater, and a bad sleeper and I feel bad for her dealing with that. I was a typically struggling undiagnosed little girl and she sees my DD now (who is diagnosed, understood and well supported) and she says she is a carbon copy of me.

Looking back over the (very turbulent) teen years also it explains an awful lot. Again, had we known it may have been easier to manage although support services in the 90s definitely weren't what they are now, so who knows.

As a young adult, I'm not sure. Again lots of stuff seems clear to me with ASD in mind but I don't know how knowing would have affected me.

It's all quite confusing!

Just an update.

My referral was accepted and the clinic sent me a load of paperwork to complete. I didn't this, they screened it and agreed to put me on the waiting list for a full assessment.

Wait is 9-12 months. So either way, I will know.

I suspect I may be mildly autistic but I am afraid to get a diagnosis. If it is official and if I had to share that information, I would be wary I might be taken advantage of at work, with dcs schools or in a legal setting.

I am 49, work at a relatively senior level in a government department. My 2 dcs are tweens. My dh is only ok, has a habit of poking fun at people. We may be splitting up over the next few years.

I tend to be naive, believe everyone is decent. Regarding dcs school meetings, I let the teachers take charge, I try not to tell too much, keep calm. With work, I try and be pleasant but try not to tell 'friends' about plans, likes and dislikes. In the past, friends, in particular work friends, are nice to my face, but get smart and half poking fun at me after a while. If I say anything in a calm voice, they get offended and fall out with me. I think this would be more prevalent if I had a diagnosis.

The managers at work are for the most part fine. However I do have a stammer. I have to work very hard to get promoted and be taken seriously all my life. I feel a diagnosis would set me back for my particular situation.

My autism affects me with being a bad judge of character. In work, I can get overwhelmed, but I have ways of organising myself to get through the work. I also take regular breaks, don't schedule lots of meetings at once, and prepare properly for meetings.

Since I reached 40s I accept myself more, don't try to be social or make friends. However, I do a small amount of 'policy' chat with work and dcs sports. I go to events if it would look rude to refuse, and say to myself, this is only X hours and the job is done for another while.

I am pleased that other posters got a diagnosis and that it helped them. If a person had no job and iif welfare were trying to cut off payments, then a diagnosis may explain why the person was not getting chosen at interviews. Also an advocate would help if a person was trying to access sevices and supports. An advocate could help us to say things in the right way, so as to be successful in getting supports.

9-12 months isn’t too long. I imagined it would be 2 years or something. How are you feeling about it now?