My life feels as if it's on hold

[user19203813]

I was diagnosed with cancer last year and ever since I feel as if my life is on hold. I feel so scared to plan ahead and it makes me feel so sad.
My friends are either getting married, buying houses or having babies and my life just revolves around hospital appointments.
My colleagues are all looking for and applying for new jobs because things are bad at my workplace, but I'm too scared to leave incase I need sick pay in the near future and also because of all the time off `i need for hospital appointments.
I feel as if I can't plan too far ahead and as if I am just living day to day, the complete opposite of how I use to be.
I hate feeling like this 😔

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It can be extremely disheartening to have a bad workplace at the best of times, which this is clearly not. It’s also hard to see people reaching ‘life milestones’ when you are on a slightly different or delayed path.

I think you do need to make some plans though, and to focus on finding things to do that you enjoy. Everyone needs something to look forward to.

@KleineDracheKokosnuss

I’m sorry this is happening to you. It can be extremely disheartening to have a bad workplace at the best of times, which this is clearly not. It’s also hard to see people reaching ‘life milestones’ when you are on a slightly different or delayed path.

I think you do need to make some plans though, and to focus on finding things to do that you enjoy. Everyone needs something to look forward to.

Thank you, I will start writing a list of things to focus on and look forward to. I guess I can start with just little things like maybe a trip to the cinema, meal out and work on those then start on bigger things.

I know how you feel. DH was diagnosed with cancer and we waited years for it to be treated (it's a rare cancer so they monitor it first). I just felt like we were waiting all the time. We did still so stuff but it hung over his head. Also reluctant to change jobs for the reasons you mention.
Are you getting treatment?

@hopeishere

I know how you feel. DH was diagnosed with cancer and we waited years for it to be treated (it's a rare cancer so they monitor it first). I just felt like we were waiting all the time. We did still so stuff but it hung over his head. Also reluctant to change jobs for the reasons you mention. Are you getting treatment?

I have had treatment but there are some areas of concern still which they are monitoring. There is a possibility I will need further surgery. How is your DH now has he managed to move on with his life?

I had cancer nearly 5 years ago. The full shebang of surgery/chemo/rads and I know exactly what you mean.
The fear of cancer, it’s never going to go away, however what I will say is it lessens over time.
A year is nothing in the general scheme of life changing illness, so I would suggest you give yourself another year to tread water and then see.
Lots of people believe that after cancer you are taken over by some urge to take life by the balls and go skydiving, but most of us just want to tick off time clear on the calendar.

If a good job comes up then go for it, but don’t feel you have to be moving along right now, it’s genuinely ok to take some time to mentally heal before you pressure yourself to start pushing on.