Am I being strung along by this man?

[Willowtreecat]

I met someone 2 months ago online and in the first month we spoke for hours every day - work breaks, evenings, you name it we would make time to chat. It was perfect and we got to know each other quite well, he basically love bombed me.
Gradually the replies got less often and now 3 weeks later we don’t speak every day and sometimes just one or two texts every couple of days. He does work long hours so I know he is busy and tired, but this didn’t stop him talking to me a lot before then. I asked him about it and he said sorry and made more effort for a while but now I seem to have to text first for a reply (immediately answers but doesn’t initial texts often).
We had 4 dates in this time so it isn’t just online, we got on better in real life and there wasn’t any reason for me to believe he wasn’t in to me. We still talk about ‘next time’ although I fear it may not happen.
I feel like I am chasing him, I think about him all day and check my phone constantly, I definitely have feelings for him and he knows this. I haven’t felt like this about anyone before and I have been married in the past, I have children and I’ve had many idiot exes so it isn’t just a fantasy from a first interest type of feeling.
I feel like my reactions are ott but I feel hurt by the lack of texts like he isn’t interested in putting in the effort, but if we talk about it he says he still wants to talk and he didn’t realise it bothered me. My head is in a mess with confusion. I stayed quiet wondering if he’ll be in touch for 3 days and he did text first so I don’t think he is dropping hints for me to leave him alone. I’m not sure if he is using me as back up or talking to other women but I’m upset by it. I know I will probably be told to pull myself together and end it, but I just can’t. Am I humiliating myself by staying available? Is there anything I can do or say? I’m the sort of person that cant give up on something/someone until I know there will be no regrets, and if I walk away now I’d regret it before I know for sure. Can anyone knock some sense into me kindly?

Honestly, be aloof, if he comes running, remain aloof and look forward someone who has more regard for women
Good luck

@Willowtreecat

Yep totally bullshitting you....I wouldn’t text him at all and when/if he does message you I’d come back with something like “sorry but I’ve realised this is isn’t working for me so I’ve moved on...take care, Willow” Let him string someone else along.

Sweetheart you can make sense of it, you’re just trying to deny it and cling onto the dream. Bin him walk away. In a little time you’ll be proud of yourself. Be that girl that doesn’t put up with lousy men.

And bear in mind that this is an extra risk when you talk intensely for long periods before you see one another in person — it can give a false impression of a close connection, intimacy etc. In future, I would be far more guarded about how much time I spent chatting before meeting.

Thank you all you’ve really helped me see things clearly