How worried would you be?

[Pretaus]

DP and I have been together a year and a half, very happy. I love him to pieces. I’m 35, 36 early next year. I want a family and so does he. Because of work we are in rented and plan to buy next summer, we have finances in place and plan to settle down somewhere then. It’s not been possible up until now because of work. He’s always been clear he wants a family and sees that after we buy somewhere next summer. I’ve no reason to doubt him or think he’s stringing me along but the reality it I would do it now if he wanted to. I’ve not said this to him as I understand why he wants us to be more settled next year and I agree with that it makes sense.

I’m just worried that I will be 36 and a half by then. What if we break up in the meantime and I have to start over? I’m just panicking I guess. I want to be with him and I love him. I just worry that 36 seems old. I’m waffling now but just got myself into a panic tonight.

35 / 36 isnt too old for a first baby by a long shot.

Can you sit him down and explain how important children are to you in regards to your age and reassure you he is the same page?

As long as your making steps towards that life I wouldn't panic. Like looking at house prices, areas near decent schools, bedrooms for kids etc. That's all a lot more promising than looking a flats near town centres and a new sports car which would be a worry

He’s into all of that I guess I just worry things could go wrong in the meantime. Then I will be nearly 37 and single

I wouldn't hang around if you want kids. Is talk to him about trying now.

You could have a baby and things could still go wrong.

Honestly it you can see why it makes sense to wait a little bit then wait a little bit. Or have a proper conversation and tell him you'd like to start trying now

Fertility drops after 35 so waiting longer means it could be harder to conceive and also if you want child number two... However a year and a half together then having a baby, do you not want more time just the two of you? Not sure any of that helps. Id lean towards talking about trying sooner.

Have a baby now, don't let him fuck around with your fertility.

Seriously fuck him. This airy fairy attitude might cost you your chances. You would love the baby more than him.

You can start to plan more for trying for a baby. So you could start tracking your cycle. If you're on hormonal contraceptives maybe remove/stop taking them so you can allow your cycle to normalise. Of course talk to him about this stuff. Maybe he doesn't realise that making a baby isn't necessarily as easy as just having sex?