Bridezilla fall out - can a friendship be fixed?

[Jamjarcandlestick]

Bridezilla and I have been friends since primary school. She's always been the mature, level-headed, down to earth but always wanting to have a laugh out of the friendship group.

Since she's been organising her wedding she's completely and utterly changed. The last few months I've been treated as an ATM and a door mat. The whole process she's never asked me if i'm okay with helping with XYZ I've literally been told. I heard from her great aunt maud that i'd be picking her up before the ceremony (it's a two hour detour!)

Last weekend I was told I had to do XYZ and spend on ABC and she cut our coffee bill exactly who had what. The first time i've tried to stick up for myself i've been told that I should deal with it as i'm her BFF.

This wedding, myself and my partner won't have much change out of a grand, and that's with us making cut backs.

I'm guessing this is going to cause resentment that's not just going to last until the wedding? Any words of wisdom?

@BalloonSlayer that’s exactly what’s happened. Staying in a fancy hotel the night beforehand with a spa attached but been told that we’re be too busy setting up the venue to visit it.

Fancy hair do and paying ££ for it. Weekend away hen do that I’ve had strict instructions to organise it but then getting the flack from the other attendees.

Been told that I have to be at a dress visiting in a city miles away at X time and date. When I say that I’m working I’m told that have I even tried getting annual leave (in total I’m having 6 days off work for various things I HAVE to attend and the wedding).

I had no idea about Aunt Maud until Aunt Maud dropped it into conversation (she was ok with travelling with family on the day but she’s been told that she’s wanted at the spa). We have to arrive at the spa two nights before the wedding day.

The grand isn’t even including DP buying a new suit, the present, food while we’re up there for a couple of days beforehand or drinks during the day.

Bow out. Now. This is madness!!

[quote Jamjarcandlestick]@BalloonSlayer that’s exactly what’s happened. Staying in a fancy hotel the night beforehand with a spa attached but been told that we’re be too busy setting up the venue to visit it.

Fancy hair do and paying ££ for it. Weekend away hen do that I’ve had strict instructions to organise it but then getting the flack from the other attendees.

Been told that I have to be at a dress visiting in a city miles away at X time and date. When I say that I’m working I’m told that have I even tried getting annual leave (in total I’m having 6 days off work for various things I HAVE to attend and the wedding).

I had no idea about Aunt Maud until Aunt Maud dropped it into conversation (she was ok with travelling with family on the day but she’s been told that she’s wanted at the spa). We have to arrive at the spa two nights before the wedding day.

The grand isn’t even including DP buying a new suit, the present, food while we’re up there for a couple of days beforehand or drinks during the day.[/quote]
Why would you be setting up the venue if it’s fancy? They’ll have staff to do that!

Why do you need to stay two nights before, just say no! One night before is more than enough, normally people only stay one night for weddings anyway not two.

Is the dress fitting for your dress or hers? If yours just ask for the contact details of the place and arrange a time that’s convenient for you, if it’s hers just say no you can’t make it.

If she wants an expensive hairdresser to do your hair then she pays, that’s not something you should be expected to cover.

Speak to the other people she wants at the hen do and agree you’ll all tell her the expectation is too expensive and you’ll need to do something else.

I fully believe that if a bride can’t cope with arrangements without loads of assistance and becoming a stroppy cow to boot, she should scale down to what she and DH to be can reasonably do and afford. Friends are not servants.

And when she has alienated every one with her demands, and spent their money, who’s to say the marriage itself will last?

OP, you don’t need to be treated like this, the bride needs telling how she used to be lovely, but seems to have changed completely since the wedding planning started and lost all sense of reality regarding what people can do and afford. So either she wises up, or you will leave her to it.

I'm always confused by these sorts of threads. When my friend (since primary school) was bridesmaid for me I paid for her dress, hair / makeup, a room to stay over the night of the wedding. I came up with the idea for the (£15 each plus a meal out) hen do afternoon and she (as a surprise) made little gift bags for everyone.
I really don't know how some women think it's normal to expect the world and his wife to fawn over their wedding day.