Manager dislikes you - what would you do?

[callmemaybee]

I used to completely pander to my manager by working through my breaks, staying late, completing tasks that are above my pay grade for less pay etc

I recently started to (politely) insist on taking my breaks and leaving on time and she now thinks I’m not a “team player” any more. Her demeanour has completely changed towards me. She’s frosty both in person and online, think borderline rude comments verbally and condescending emails. She even told a senior manager this week that I had worked there for significantly less time than I had (I started in 2019 but she told the senior manager that I started this year?) which I felt was a passive aggressive dig to make me feel irrelevant.

I don’t see how she would completely forget about my existence for the previous 2 years as we were actually quite close before I started to stick up for myself - we went out for drinks etc.

What would you recommend to do in this situation?

She risks being known as someone with a memory problem! Does she work a lot of overtime? What about other staff?

Honestly - I'd think about finding another job. I've worked for bosses who I got along well with, i've worked for bosses who have disliked me, and I've worked for bullies. If you can get out, do it. Life is too short.

@HollowTalk

She risks being known as someone with a memory problem! Does she work a lot of overtime? What about other staff?

Honestly, as soon as she’s due to leave she’s already at the entrance on the minute. She wouldn’t dare stay over like she expects me to. I can’t decide whether to be just as rude back or suck up to her for the sake of progression !

@BillyTodd thank you. I never thought I’d consider leaving here but perhaps it’s for the best. No job is worth ruining your self esteem

I'd be rude back, but in a calculated way. Enjoy the sport of winding her up 😁

I'd ask her (obviously politely) what her problem is.
Be more male, which I know sounds sexist but sometimes I think us females worry too much about what the other person is thinking/feeling.
Sometimes you have to be fair but firm yet brutal

Yes!

I’m tempted to spell her name wrong in an email or generally repay her tone in kind, but conscious that it might look bad on me

I’m quite up front so would more than likely confront her in a professional way such as; “I’ve noticed such and such recently, is there an issue you’d like to discuss with me? because I get the feeling I’ve upset/annoyed you in some way, can we explore that please?”
Make sure you have examples to
Point out to her and then follow up with an email “Hi bitchface, thanks for meeting with me earlier to discuss some ongoing issues I’ve been noticing such as; this that and whatever. I’m glad we were able to address this face to face, you said... and we decided the following course of action... is there anything I’ve forgotten or left out?
Kind regards, Imnotstupidyouspitefulbint.

[quote callmemaybee]@BillyTodd thank you. I never thought I’d consider leaving here but perhaps it’s for the best. No job is worth ruining your self esteem[/quote]

Is a sideways move possible if you like the company but just not your current boss?

IMO how stressful/enjoyable work is comes down primary to how good your line manager is...

She was used to you doing loads of extra work and she liked it. Now you don’t do all those things, it’s a shock and she’s more than likely now landed with a lot of the work you used to do? That’ll be why she’s a bit pissed off. I’d just let it lie for a while until she gets used to the new normal.
I would not recommend playing any passive aggressive mind games. Just be someone who works effectively during their normal hours but has well defined work/life boundaries.
Out of interest, why did you do so much extra in the past and what was it that made you change?

In my experience once it goes sour it's very difficult to go back. I'd be looking at finding a new role either in another department or company. People can be fickle and bosses can be unfair sometimes.

Thank you all

@Trevors it just started off when I was new. We work in public sector so there’s constantly work that needs to be done, and we’re understaffed/underfunded. Initially I didn’t mind staying late as a one-off, to cover a colleague’s workload for something important. My manager just began to have a disregard of my time and this spiralled out of control.

Since WFH last year, I had a much better work-life balance and now that I’ve returned to the office, I wanted to nip in the bud working through breaks and staying late. I’m efficient at work and get through all my normal duties during my allocated hours. She just thinks it’s being a “team player” to not take a break or to stay late for do extra tasks.

If you can, don't care - easier said than done but if you do the job, start when you're supposed to finish when you are supposed to, take the breaks you're supposed to then she's just a jerk. But make notes so if you need to you can present some incidents. But the 2019 comment just makes her look silly. Then start looking around for a new job as sometimes it's just not worth it.