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What would you do with him?! Time to get rid over something so small?

6 replies

PandyAbee · 04/06/2021 22:43

Basically DP has never been good at texting. I am not into texting a lot or back and forth, my job is very intense and I wouldn’t have the time anyway.

However, I like to be in contact with a partner daily. I would prefer a small text exchange in the evenings but I would settle for a goodnight message at the very least.

My DP will randomly go 3 or 4 days without contacting me. I’ve tried and tested it...if I text he will eventually respond in these patches but if I leave it, there’s absolutely no contact from him. He says it is when he is busy at work... I get it. But for fucks sake don’t not contact me for days at a time? I would literally be happy with one short message: hey, I’m really busy at the moment, catch up tomorrow?..... or something like that. I’m not asking the world.

I had a big discussion with him last week about it and he seemed to get it and said he understood and gave me a voluntary and seemingly really genuine apology which I didn’t expect or ask for.

Anyway. It’s three days later and he’s done it again the last 36 hours. I’ve just text him to ask how his day was but I’m pissed off.

I realise I could text him but I have tried and tested this and where it’s left to him there is nothing. At all. And he is very slow to reply to me, I’m talking over a day at times.

It’s also making me upset as I’m not a clingy person. I am massively independent but when you read this back I sound like some pathetic mess!

I just don’t know what to do. It’s a small thing isn’t it? And I love him. But it’s also a big source of upset to me and doesn’t feel like I have a consistent partner.

OP posts:
Herecomesanothernamechange · 06/06/2021 21:32

How long have you been together?

Yes it would bother me if I crossed someone’s mind so little that they didn’t want to message me asking how my day was or even a “good night x”.

It’s not a small thing to feel inconsequential to someone but only you know if it’s worth breaking up over. You’ve had a discussion & he obviously isn’t going to change so can you live with it? If not then.......

D0D0 · 06/06/2021 21:35

That’s not a small thing OP.

He’s just not that into you....

shewalkslikerihanna · 06/06/2021 22:10

How much time does it take to send a quick text.
What on Earth is the matter with some people?
Withholding affection in this way can be very controlling.
I would not be happy.

I met someone after my first marriage went pear shaped.
We lived 25 miles from one another. Met on the internet.
There was always a text, actually a long email from him every day and he got one back.

I wasn’t needy or independent either so it just let me know he was reliable and dependable.
We never lived together for 3.5 years and we saw each other 1 night midweek and every weekend.

There was no messing around on either side.

We’ve been together for 13 years and married for 6 and he’s never once given me cause for concern.

Sadly all relationships don’t run as smoothly as this.

I just don’t think it bodes well for you if you’re considering him for a long term partner.
Sorry op

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VeniVidiWeeWee · 06/06/2021 22:21

You could always phone them.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 06/06/2021 22:26

It's not small.

I get a message every night to tell me he loves me and sleep well. At the very least.

If he is thinking of you, it's not a difficult thing to do and it's a fair thing to ask for. Unless he's an astronaut or doing spec ops in the Middle East or something, he has time. He's just lazy and inconsiderate especially as he knows it bothers you.

You are worth more.

Everyday21 · 06/06/2021 22:36

How long have you been together?

Tbh this isn't a mind set I understand but I know lots of my friends are like you. My Dh and I didn't speak daily until we moved in together after 3years together. However neither of us were the clingy type. We loved each other very much but just didn't feel the need to be in constant contact. But the important thing was that we were both happy with that.

You are not happy with your situation. If you haven't been together long it might be worth considering of the relationship is worth it or whether you can find someone else who can give you the higher level of attention you need

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