How would you split this meal costs?

[SplitTheMeal]

3 adults, 1 child. All related.

A (60s) orders main no starters or puddings. Cost £12.

B (late 20s) orders a starter, and a main and pinched a bit of Ds pudding. Starter was £6, Main £12 so total without the bit of Ds pudding was £18.

C (early 30s) orders a starter and a pudding. Starter was £6, pudding was £5. Total was £11.

D (under 7, Cs DC) has a childrens main and a childrens pudding. Main and pudding were on a deal for £8.

Everyone got one drink free with their meal apart from B who paid a bit more to have an alcoholic drink which added a £. C and D had an extra drink each which where £2 each.

Total meal cost was around £54. I’ve rounded meals up to nearest £.

So how would you split it?

A says adults pay for their own meals and drinks, all put in £3ish for Ds meal and drinks. So A pays £15, B pays £22 and C pays £16.

B says we split it between 3 adults and all pay £18.

C says we split it as per own meals; so A pays £12, B £19, and C £23 (as they pay for Ds meal).

We did resolve this and I am one of the adults. But not saying which or who we went with. I am curious to see how you'd split the meal.

Pay for what you had. And the parent pay for the child. But in my family someone who slope off and pay for everyone. But everyone always can afford their own iyswim. In times of need we have told the person who won't come as they cannot afford that we will pay it. But sadly we haven't been anywhere!

It's not an expensive bill, and I'm embarrassed at the thought of quizzing how to split it.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

It totally baffles me how some people think the ones who don't want to subsidise other people's meals are called "tight" and "stingy", yet others who want the person who only had a salad to subsidise their 3-course meal are the nice, fair ones

An odd anomaly where logic is thrown out the window. Don't order stuff you can't and won't pay for.

Generally though if no one is skint it evens out over time and they were arguing over a couple of quid either way.

C is a single parent, so while that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re skint a few quid can be a big deal if you’re watching every penny.

@MaMelon

C is a single parent, so while that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re skint a few quid can be a big deal if you’re watching every penny.

She doesn’t appear to be, she says she earns a good income.

If you’re skint when you go out for a meal, it’s best just to say at the start you will just pay for yourself as a result. That avoids the excruciating haggling at the end of a meal.

However, OP doesn’t seem to be skint, just tight and resentful.

How confusing and tedious. Is it all family? In my family everyone would try to insist on paying. Someone would sneakily settle the bill when getting a final drink or en route to the loo.

If nobody in this situation can afford or wants to pay then surely just everyone puts in £20 to cover the tip. If you have to calculate everything to the last penny/sneaky mouthful of pudding from someone else's plate, I'd question whether you could really afford to go out for a meal in the first place.

@MaMelon

C is a single parent, so while that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re skint a few quid can be a big deal if you’re watching every penny.

C's suggested way of paying costs C the most.

@Medievalist

How confusing and tedious. Is it all family? In my family everyone would try to insist on paying. Someone would sneakily settle the bill when getting a final drink or en route to the loo.

If nobody in this situation can afford or wants to pay then surely just everyone puts in £20 to cover the tip. If you have to calculate everything to the last penny/sneaky mouthful of pudding from someone else's plate, I'd question whether you could really afford to go out for a meal in the first place.

I have to be honest I was surprised about the comment of not adding the cost of a sneaky bit of her sons pudding, that’s proper tight.

I assumed she was getting to the till quicker.

Which clearly doesn’t make her slower than anyone else.

Honestly this sounds painful. I wouldn't want to go to dinner with anyone that noted down the cost of what I ordered.
As someone who until recently has been very poor...if I felt able to I'd go hoping to pay for what I ordered but expecting to split the bill (and pay for my own child)

I'd probably pay for it all and someone else get the next one.

or 20 quid each and £6 tip

I love the number of people on here saying it’s a pittance just pay it . For some people that’s the cost of their weekly shop. When I have been skint I have just stated to friends, at the beginning , that I would like to pay my own bill . I will drive and have soft drinks and just one course rather than miss out on the opportunity to see friends . That said they often offer to buy my drinks as I am driving them home .

Exactly sand. The people who say 'just split it, I CBA arguing over a few quid' always fail to acknowledge the privilege in being able to do that.

If you're in the position where you can afford to go out but only if you control the cost, you can't just pay extra because others have consumed more and no I don't think they should not go out if they're on a limited budget.

@sandgrown

I love the number of people on here saying it’s a pittance just pay it . For some people that’s the cost of their weekly shop. When I have been skint I have just stated to friends, at the beginning , that I would like to pay my own bill . I will drive and have soft drinks and just one course rather than miss out on the opportunity to see friends . That said they often offer to buy my drinks as I am driving them home .

But the threads not about you. And she said none of them are skint.

@sandgrown

I love the number of people on here saying it’s a pittance just pay it . For some people that’s the cost of their weekly shop. When I have been skint I have just stated to friends, at the beginning , that I would like to pay my own bill . I will drive and have soft drinks and just one course rather than miss out on the opportunity to see friends . That said they often offer to buy my drinks as I am driving them home .

This is family, not friends. I think that makes it very different.

With friends, I typically let the group decide how they want to pay, and speak up if it's inequitable for someone. I'm not fussed personally, but if I notice someone wasn't drinking or ordered the cheapest items off the menu, I'll suggest another type of bill division.

With family, I don't mind who pays as long as they can afford it. It's keeping the wealth in the family.

@TatianaBis

If you’re skint when you go out for a meal, it’s best just to say at the start you will just pay for yourself as a result. That avoids the excruciating haggling at the end of a meal.

However, OP doesn’t seem to be skint, just tight and resentful.

The OP is C. They suggested paying for their own and their child's, which is the most expensive option for them, hardly tight. B is tight as they suggested splitting three ways which means they only pay for their own but A subsidises C.

Another option could be split three ways but then B pays the tip.

If you do the maths, C - single parent, OP, the one everyone’s worrying about - was subsidised by both A and B - by A most of all. V’s costs -for her meal and her DC’s came to £23 but she only paid £18.

So those castigating B for suggesting a 3-way split when B ordered more are missing the point a bit.

And C’s inclusion of the comment that B ate some of D’s pudding is a bit petty.

If you do the maths, C - single parent,OP, the one everyone’s worrying about - was subsidised by both A and B - by A most of all. V’s costs -for her meal and her DC’s came to £23 but she only paid £18.
They went with option B, three way split. That meant that C was subsidised by A but B only paid for their own as that's what B's cost. B was cheeky to suggest that A subsidise C when they were not willing to themselves.

Option D, divide bill by 4 and parent of the child pays 2x

Is anyone that miserly over a couple of quid?!

C. Pay your own.

But for just over £50 I would just pay the whole thing anyway and I'm in no way rich!

But for just over £50 I would just pay the whole thing anyway and I'm in no way rich!
That's more than my take home income on a 5.5 hour friday!

I know that £50 is not peanuts. But my understanding is that this is family. And in a family group I would expect things to be done to reflect individual circumstances. ie take turns to cover a whole bill / split it equally / 2 people split it because the 3rd doesn't have much money etc etc. My dps would never have let me pay for a meal when I was a student, but were happy to let me take a turn once I was earning.

There's nothing wrong with splitting the bill. It's just the level of analysis I find difficult to accept.

Third solution. Only the parent pays for their child's meal unless another person particularly wants to "treat"

In my family one adult would just pick up the bill and someone else pays next time.

Or if in this case it was mum, brother, me and a child. My brother and I would prob split the bill between us.