too scared to go to the gym

[poppyd5]

hi i'm 16 i have wanted to go to the gym for a few years now but i am so scared of being laughed at by people who i used to go to school with , i really want to go though so i can improve my body and be happy with it finally lol so does anyone have any advice on what to do and how to not be scared anymore

Go with a friend?

Remember everyone was a gym virgin once!!
And honestly nobody looks at you.

hi i was thinking of asking my friend to come with me but i think she'll probably be the same as me too scared but i will give it a go

Go first thing in the morning, I doubt they will have fallen out of bed yet. Sorry you had a bad experience at school. 🤗

All honestly, no body looks at anyone!
Is there certain times you could go? So not peak times.

Just go op, everyone feels like this at some point.
Will help if you can have an induction at the gym from an instructor, who will show you the machines, where things are, and how they work.
Chances are you won't be seeing people from school and if you do....
Does it really matter? Ignore them as if they're strangers if you don't like them.
A hello as you pass, prehaps, if you do like them?

Avoid popular times eg: after work. Before work - if you can. Mid-mornings, early afternoons are usually quieter - you'll be amazed of the shapes, sizes and ages of all that go to the gym -and you'll soon realise absolutely nobody cares about you -in the nicest way possible!

In the nicest way possible, what makes you so special that people would rather look at you than concentrate on whatever they are at the gym to do?

Seriously, nobody is looking at you. Literally nobody gives a shit, they're too busy counting their steps, or concentrating on the zumba moves, or whatever else.

If you can afford to attend a pt or a group pt even if only for a few sessions it will give you a lot of experience in using different machines and the correct form etc

If you join a gym you tend to get a free induction with one of the trainer's. I would recommend booking that straight away, specifically ask to have it during a quiet time in the gym. It could be with a man or woman, if you'd feel more comfortable with either then ask for that too.

When you have your induction they'll walk you round the equipment and show you how to use everything. Take notes or photos if there's a lot to remember.

@RaspberryCoulis

In the nicest way possible, what makes you so special that people would rather look at you than concentrate on whatever they are at the gym to do?

Seriously, nobody is looking at you. Literally nobody gives a shit, they're too busy counting their steps, or concentrating on the zumba moves, or whatever else.

She is obviously self conscious. She’s young, be nice

Take some headphones with you if you have some and listen to some music.
Just start off doing something you feel comfortable doing, like walking fast on a treadmill and branch out when you feel more confident.
Good luck!

I totally understand. Some people might look and they might pass comments. Have headphones in and hold your head high. If everyone had perfect bodies to start with gyms would go out of business. Use any negativity you genuinely experience (not the stuff you tell yourself in your head) into motivation to make you the best you can be. A kind of I’ll show you attitude.

In all reality though if you go when it’s quiet or old folk in nobody will look twice except perhaps to say hello. The biggest barrier to going to the gym is your self consciousness and that won’t go away by itself, you just need to push past it until you have a new normal.

You will be fine, and the more you go, the more familiar it will feel. I understand you feeling self consciousness, but most of us do to begin with.
My son started going alone to the gym at 16, he got on well, but he preferred to come home and have a shower. Now he's older, he showers there.

Definitely get an induction. They can show you the machines, give you a routine and then you can walk in and know exactly what to do so don't have that awkward lost and confused feeling. That should remove a sizeable chunk of worries.

1. Go at a different time of day

1. Go to a gym outside of your area/ one you know they don't attend

1. Get some counselling to help you with your worries about what others think. This will cripple you into adulthood if you don't address it.

Go as early as possible to start with...it's either going to be quiet or the people going at that time will just want to workout and get to work. They won't be watching. It can be intimidating to start with but it's really not that bad!

Definitely get an induction booked...from experience most gyms won't let you use the equipment without one anyway.

Do you mean old school friends use the gym?
If so guess when they go and do different. As someone else suggested 1st thing they are less likely. And people there are there to get on and go. People after work and weekend are those more likely there as 'go coz i should' types

I joined the gym a few years ago and was so embarrassed, shy and anxious. I used to never go alone but felt so annoyed for not feeling able to go alone. I used to have to get my boyfriend to walk me to the door just so I’d go in and I was in my mid 20s at the time.

It’s hard when you’re so scared but take a deep breath and try not to worry about what other people think. I realised quite quickly that everyone is busy with their own workout and no one is looking at what you’re doing.

Maybe you’d like to join the gym and do some classes first so you’re in a supportive group environment? You might learn some exercises that you can include in your own workouts once you build more confidence.

I hope you’re able to overcome your worries because I hate to think you’re not living your life how you want because of some horrible people around you.

OP I think you’re fab and I wish I had had your drive when I was 16. I would second the advice re having an induction. The trainer should also be able to write you a plan. When you go, walk in with your head held high. You have every right to be there, just as much as anyone else.

If it helps, I walked into my gym yesterday and walked straight to the free weights part. There were 3 fairly buff blokes in there and I almost bottled it (first time in free weights), but I thought no, stuff it. They were too busy with what they were doing to pay any attention to me. I felt so good after my workout. Good luck lovely

I’m a “gym person”, but I never always was and I 100% remember what it was like not knowing what to do and feeling super self-conscious. I would say every person there who looks like they know what they are doing is exactly the same.

I genuinely guarantee that people aren’t looking at you. If I ever look at anyone obviously new it is to think “good for you” but honestly everyone is just focussed on themselves. Sometimes I might be looking at someone because I’m idly wondering where their top came from and can I see a logo etc, but not v often.

Here’s some practical tips.

• Wear something you don’t feel too self conscious in, as its horrible to keep tugging at things. A pair of leggings, long line vest and a t shirt is a great combination. Trainers can be any old type for the gym as they are not really doing anything much!

• A good tip is to identify a safe space. It’s really good to have somewhere to go to - walking on the running machine, or one of the bikes, if you feel a bit overwhelmed. You can go there, be pretty inconspicuous and work out what to do next/regroup. If there is a stretching area, that works well also.

• Your gym should offer a programme. Every gym does it. Typically they will spend 20-30 mins with you showing you how the machines work, the right weights and write it all down on a card for you. At my gym I would say about 50% of people are carrying around and referring to their programme card - most gyms even have a place for you to leave it.

• I used to feel a bit intimidated by the trainers, but one of them told me that they like people coming up to them and asking them things. It’s quite a boring job otherwise. My DD had her programme done and the trainer who did it used to catch her eye, ask how it was going etc. They will usually help you update it, particularly if you go at quiet times.

• Headphones. Everyone wears them - pop some in, find something good to listen to and you are sorted.

1 Good luck

I admire you too, some great advice here. With the inductions, I would ask them to keep it as simple as possible to start with, just learn how to use a few machines well so you are comfortable with them. You will soon get used to using them, and you can add something else in. Gym going is confidence building.

Come back and let us know how it goes Poppyd5

@RaspberryCoulis

In the nicest way possible, what makes you so special that people would rather look at you than concentrate on whatever they are at the gym to do?

Seriously, nobody is looking at you. Literally nobody gives a shit, they're too busy counting their steps, or concentrating on the zumba moves, or whatever else.

I'm assuming you were never a teenager?

Just go there. Make it early in the morning, as that makes it less likely anybody you know will have got up by then. Eight o'clock is a good time, as people getting ready to finish and leave for work are going, but a lot who would come later haven't got there yet.

Take your phone, keys, a bottle of water and a small towel (for wiping your face/hands, there will be sprays and paper towels for cleaning the machines before and after you use them - nobody likes sitting on somebody else's bum sweat). Later, if you're comfortable with it, you can bring stuff for a shower/a change of clothes, depending upon what their Covid safety rules are, as some don't want people changing there.They will also usually sell padlocks for the lockers.

But you need to join the gym first. To do this;

Go to the front desk and tell them you're interested in joining. They'll probably get one of the staff/trainers to come and show you around. They're really nice and friendly.

If you like what you see - it's clean, not too loud and you can see yourself being comfortable there - you can ask about cost, class timetables and booking an induction session, which is when one of the staff spend about half an hour with you, talking about a good start plan and show you how to use some of the equipment. Any time when you're there and aren't sure on something, as long as a staff member isn't actually with somebody else, they'll be happy to help you; it's what they're there for.

Before long, you'll be so comfortable, you'll wonder why you were so scared in the first place.

In terms of clothing, you'll need comfortable leggings/shorts, a good sports bra, a top, stretchy knickers that cover your bum are more comfortable than little cottony ones, socks and trainers, preferably ones you don't wear outside the gym so they're clean. You'll need to tie your hair back and it is far more comfortable to have a change of clothes for afterwards than to leave with your exercise gear on if they allow showers and changing - especially underwear and socks. I'd also suggest you get a pair of sliders for the shower or standing on the changing room floor.

If they allow showers/swimming, bring shower gel and a bigger towel in your bag. It's a good idea to have a second waterproof bag inside to keep wet/damp/sweaty clothes separate. You'll also need a comb from detangling your hair.

Anything new can be scary. But they will be really nice to you and it's a safe place where they won't tolerate anybody being mean to you.