Child sport - son crumbles in competition

[Popfan]

Hi, looking for some advice.
My DS age 13 plays a sport and is pretty good at it. Has lots of lessons and practices. He's been playing really well in practice and informal occasions but seems to absolutely crumble in competitions even though he says he doesn't feel under pressure. I think he does even if
he doesn't realise it and probably changes what he normally does. He does really want to compete but it seems he just can't get it together and he feels so frustrated that he can't replicate the very good form he shows normally.
I have found a sports psychologist locally and wonder if this might help him just to get over whatever block he has and to give him some strategies for competitive play. I'm not sure though if this is overkill! He seems quite keen on the idea.

Does anyone have a similar story where their child has overcome this? What did they / you do to help?
Thank you

Is it a team sport?

No an individual sport.

Golf?

Is there any local Facebook type groups where some older people could give him some tips and stuff who may have been the same when they were younger?

Assuming it’s golf, I would say many golfers are like this, whether child or adult. My DH & DS1 are low handicappers, and sometimes it’s just not their day. He’s just 13 so just play for fun for a while and enter the odd competition at club level once he has a few wins his confidence will build. Has he got some nice pals to play with.

How is he with "exams"?

I'd be tempted to consider a sports psychologist because dealing with pressure is a very useful skill generally and sport can be a good lower stakes way of learning strategies to cope with pressure.

Yes it is golf! It is a tough game. He does have some nice kids to play with and enjoys it. Likes the team type competitions for fun and plays well in those generally. It's just when he plays individually it all falls apart. Played yesterday and had his worst round ever for ages! Mind you it was the first proper competition for a long time yesterday too.
It was also pretty hot, he's not keen on that much and I wonder if that got inside his head - 'I don't play well in the heat' type of thing. He needs to get over it though as the golf season is in the summer!

He's a pretty laid back character generally and is OK in exams, although he needs to put more effort into revising!

I did feel sad for him, he had such high hopes going in as he's been playing so well and it was a disaster!

Does he read? There's a version of 'The Chimp Paradox' (by the psychologist who worked with Team GB among others) adapted for kids, which you/he may find helpful.

My DC participated in sport to the level of representing GB as a Jr.

One of the things a sports psychologist told them to do was picture in their head the perfect performance-maybe in your son's case his swing?
Then look and even write down exactly what went into that result.

The whole routine for success-sleep, food, preparation, warm up etc and then replicate that so it becomes second nature and because it gave him the result he wanted once he will believe he can do it again.

I am def paraphrasing because it was a few years ago but it is really about your DS doing his thing-not getting rattled by the things around him and getting in the zone he has created.

He makes a plan and executes it-not being driven by others performances around him but by his own pre-match plan.
Then he is in control.

Does any of that sound helpful @Popfan?

Just spoken to DS1, he is 19 now plays off 4, he says play the same way whether it’s a knock about or a comp. Don’t be tempted to hit driver on a shot that in normal play you would hit an iron. It helps him to see the perfect shot in his mind - so visualisation. When you pick the target, pick a very small target so if you go wide with a smaller target the chances are it won’t be too wide. That’s his advice. Good luck.

Thank you so much @mumsiedarlingrevolta and
@Roselilly36. Really great advice and just what I was hoping for. He definitely needs a warm up routine as he hasn't got one. I'll ask his coach to give him one and practise using it before a general round. I also think he needs to practise writing scores on a card so it isn't out of the norm. A plan he knows and to stick to in the competition is what he also needs and something again to talk to his coach about. The visualisation techniques are also good.

@Palavah he's not a great reader but the Chimp Paradox is a fantastic book. I've read it myself and used the ideas in my job and they actually did work on it in his school. I'll remind him to consider if his chimp is taking over from his human!

Thanks again all.