Work/Life balance - Advice needed

[Octopus37]

Looking for a bit of advice. For background, I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment, I' m 46 and in peri, talking to the GP about HRT tomorrow. Difficult family situation, Dad at a distance, difficult situation, DH works shifts. DS's aged 14 and 11 so getting more independent. I am self-employed, work for companies doing regular price checking work, two companies mainly, but also merchandise for two other companies. In addition, I do some website moderating work, unfortunately this is very poorly paid, but it was a back up for me when a lot of my work was cancelled during the lockdowns. I am also doing a level 4 diploma in copywriting.

Sorry this is going to be an essay. My DH gets cross with me cause I'm working all the time, its true my work life balance is awful and I dont even earn good money. Although DH helps, a lot of the wife work falls to me and I feel pathetically overwhelmed by it all. In the longer term, I want to start working as a copywriter, but I need to finish my course and get some experience first. I'm tempted to let the website evaluation work go, cause it takes a lot of my time for not enough money, but it feels risky when there could be another lockdown.

Sorry for the complete brain dump. I'm just desperate for some time and some headspace

Why does he not do the wigework if he is not happy that it doesn't get done?

husband needs to do half of non paid family work, unless he works much longer hours than you. alternative is that you both pay towards someone else doing it, ie get a cleaner.

as you say, the best thing to remove first would be the least well paid/takes the most effort per hourly rate job.

My DH does quite a lot of admin stuff like sorting out home insurance and the gardening, also plans most of the work we ever have done to our house. Also, he helps out with school runs and giving the kids lifts to places (I dont drive but do my share of busing them to places) and we do 50/50 with the dog. We are not in a financial position to have a cleaner, but do pay for DIY jobs from time to time, although DH hates doing this. I do work less hours than him and earn a lot less unfortunately so feel that the bulk of basic housework does fall to me, although I want/need my boys to step up.

I have decided to cut out the website work, I'm trying to tell myself that if there is another lockdown, I am registered with enough agencies to make it ok. DH is in agreement with this. I'm also looking into other ways to make life easier.

Thanks everyone for the advice.

I'm self employed (recently started) and picked up a couple of key clients v fast. One was in a field I am talented at but had no experience in, but I pushed via freelance sites (trying to be careful who I bid for work with) relentlessly & found excellent clients. I 100% think you could, too. I'd personally say dump the website like a hot potato-theres so much work out there via freelancing sites (you have to be discerning/strategic to end up with good clients/projects but I find give them one great piece of work & they want you to stick around immediately). My feeling is there's a ton of work out there, all the time (lockdown/covid I think turned the work from home industry into a big market to an insanely huge one). Just go for it. Hit up every great copywriting job you find via decent freelance sites & I think you'll never be short of work.

Also value your time - if something generally doesn't pay well & you're not getting a major benefit from it, move on.

Hit up every great copywriting job you find via decent freelance sites & I think you'll never be short of work.

Absolutely this. I saw a post on FB asking for a copywriter, have no official copywriting qualifications (but do have writing experience). Answered the post and have approx £2k of work from it for one job.

I set up website, domain name and logo for under £50.

Don't undersell yourself either.

Definitely your solution is your kids!!! If your kids are 11 and 14, they should be helping with chores every day. They can easily mow a lawn, walk a dog, vacuum, empty a dishwasher, water the plants, fold the laundry, wash the car, etc etc.

I give my DD a list of regular weekly chores which I switch about on a kind of rotation as she bores of them.

Then I offer her some wild card chores which are a bit more fun plus she can earn money for - she picks the ones she fancies - things like washing the outside windows downstairs, vacuuming the car, washing the car, helping me to batch cook (I’m teaching her to cook properly now). She is 10 so sometimes the chore is assisting me or her dad (otherwise she messes it up). But these are useful life skills and knowing how much work it is to run a household is important. Win win.

Wow nice going CorHona

CoHona yes once I've done my course, I am going to be doing this, I'm on lesson 14, the last lesson (lesson 20) is about job hunting. I have dropped the website work. I may drop some of my merchandising jobs later on, but will need to feel fully confident to be able to do so. Hoping that once I get a foot in the door I can do it. @Polkadots and @Cohona thanks for the advice. @CustardyCreams, I do need to turn things round with my kids, I have told them now that they need to do their own rooms, there is a way to go with this I know. Have also started on HRT today, which I hope will make a difference to my sense of wellbeing.