The infuriating logic of flies

[Soubriquet]

How is it, they can fly into the house through the smallest crack but you open a door wide open and it’s suddenly unable to find its way out

@Soubriquet Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing! I know flies are necessary but I wish they could be trained to stay away from houses. They give me the heebie-jeebies!

I was just wondering exactly the same thing as this buzzy bastard is flying repeatedly into the window frame in my living room.

It’s completely baffling!

I mean, flies are supposed to have exceptional eyesight yet they can’t see a frigging window or door wide open

They are so annoying! I don't like killing them so I end up trying to herd them out of the door using a towel as a bullfighting cape.

That’s hilarious

Mind you I tend to do the same but I use my hand... a towel would probably have a better effect

And why do they fly in squares? Have you ever seen a fly outside just zipping about in a square over and over again? No. Of course not, they're off doing important fly things / falling in your beer / landing on the potato salad.

But get one indoors, and suddenly its mission is to fly in an 18 inch square over and over again round the bloody light fitting.

I have never noticed that but now that you mention it, they do!

Why?!

@FrenchieFromGrease

They are so annoying! I don't like killing them so I end up trying to herd them out of the door using a towel as a bullfighting cape.

I have no such qualms. Electric tennis racket fly swat is brilliant. Ffszzzzzzt! Sometimes a really big one will proper pop/spark/mini-explode when you get it. I like to think it sends a message to the others.

It’s a quick death. And serves (heh) as exercise for me.

I was thinking about this yesterday. What would be more annoying, if you had to ask them to leave every time one came in (and they would) or just to wait for them to find their way out?

Does asking work? Cos if asking worked I would much prefer to ask rather than wait for them to finally pack their bags and fuck off

Well I asked one once and it did go away but I think it was a coincidence

I shall give asking a go

If it works...well you better contact someone and get an award

My DM has a deep seated belief that flies will only go in dirty houses, or in our case, the kitchen via the open back door. Every time a fly would come in she'd moan that we hadnt cleaned the kitchen properly.

As if the flies approach the back door with caution, stick a nose in and go, 'nope! Clean kitchen! Let's go elsewhere!'

She tells me this repeatedly when I moan that flies come in my flat window. I roll my eyes and tell her theres a public bin just below me. That seemed to pacify her.

I then went to visit her and saw TWO flies buzzing around her kitchen as the door was wide open. I said nothing but gave a smug smile that infuriated her

And why do they fly in squares

Always around a bloody ceiling light fitting, even if it's switched off! It looks like they are hitting a tiny invisible force field. Buzzy little bastards. So stupid.

I hate the giant blue bottles most though.

Yes! Why?

And bluebottles are noisy little bastards

I...asked a fly to leave. And it did!

I live next to a field with cows in so we get those horrible ones that bite you and then leave horrible little blood poops all over my blinds and washing etc, they get squashed

Ew. Even I would have no qualms squashing those..

What bugs me more is when they repeatedly fly right up to my face and buzz about near my ears. I have this phobia of bees and wasps getting stuck in my hair and stinging my neck (something which happened to me as a child) and the buzzing terrifies me!

Not sure if it is true but I thought that an open door or window likely means that there is a breeze going from outside to inside the house. Being essentially lazy bastards, flies don’t like to fly “upstream” against the breeze - much easier to just potter around inside instead. You have to motivate them. Ideally with a weapon of some sort.

Ugh, I absolutely hate flies, they’re the reason I have very fine mesh over my kitchen window, stops all flying fuckers getting in and annoying the hell out of me! 😡

@Soubriquet

How is it, they can fly into the house through the smallest crack but you open a door wide open and it’s suddenly unable to find its way out

I know they're God's creatures and part of the ecosystem but if they go into my home am ready with a can of Raid

If we get rid of flies, the spiders can go too.

I always tell them 'stay and die or leave and live', so it's their own choice if they get swatted.

On the other hand, it gives DDog hours of fun chasing them. She never catches any, because they - well, they can fly and she can't. But it stops her nagging me to play with her when I'm supposed to be working.