How to be a good godparent?

[JustRabbitStuff]

A close family member has just asked me to be her daughter's godmother. I'm 18 and this is the first time I've ever been a godmother. It may not seem like a big deal but I'm so happy and honoured to have been asked, and I really don't want to mess this up in any way. If you are/have/know a great godparent, what was it that made them great? How can I be the best godmother I can be to my baby relative? Thanks in advance for any advice!

Forgetting which children are your own godchildren is probably not a good sign (in my defense... I treat all of each sibling group equally, so it's extra children not forgetting some)

Haha I'll keep that in mind - forgetting she was my godchild probably wouldn't go down well...

Keeping in touch with them throughout the year. Presents at Christmas and birthdays are always appreciated (don't be afraid to ask their parents what to get; I found it hard to guess when I didn't have children the same age), but actually just little things that show interest in them and their milestones are appreciated and will make you a presence in their lives eg remembering first day at school, going to their football match etc. I found sending postcards was a good, cheap way of saying hello. They don't care if it's from some super boring place, or even just a random picture one, they know from an early age that it's post for them and it makes them feel special to receive it.

Thank you Elbie! The postcard idea is really good as I don't live near them so it'll be an easy way to keep contact :)

@JustRabbitStuff

I think its lovely and it's good you feel honoured.
Like others have said I think it's about taking an interest and participating in the child's life, not just Christmas and birthday presents.
Sadly my friends do not live near me so I couldn't do things like babysitting but when I stayed with them for holidays I managed a few school pick ups and sports days. I also sent postcards and silly, inexpensive things, hair slides and bubbles, make up when she was older, just things I thought she would like. She is the only child I let do my hair and make up ( could have done without the glitter !) we had a lot of fun doing it.
These things are way in the future for you but I helped kit her out for uni, and gave her her first piece of proper jewelry when she was 21.
I love being her godmother, we've had so much fun together and I could hand her back when she threw a wobbly !

My godparents always remembered birthdays throughout my childhood, were always welcoming, and even though I am now in my fifties have met them at various times as an adult. Never had any conversation about religion with them though, other than going to church with my godfather and his family (they moved away when I was young).

Sadly my godfather died four years ago and I was away at the time so unable to attend his funeral. My godmother is a lifelong friend of my mum and so often hear of her.

@Ted27 you sound like a great godmother, thanks for the advice. I'm looking forward to all those things when she's older, and I hope I can make her feel like she can always turn to me as she grows up. In the meantime I think little gifts and postcards are the way forward to make her feel special and loved.

@newnortherner111 I'm glad your relationship with your godparents continued into adulthood, that's so nice. As far as I'm aware these relatives aren't religious, so I think my role will be more to be a friend and role model to my goddaughter rather than the traditional role.

Well, are the parents religious? I mean, is this a secular extra-aunt and birthday presents situation, or are you actually expected to guide her in whatever religion she's being baptised into?

@MinorCharacter in our family Godparents are definitely more there as mentors in all aspects of life rather than specifically religion, so I don't think I'll be expected to talk to her about religion, more just be there for her and support her in all areas of life.

My god daughters family arent religious, the children were not Christened, they are a mixed heritage family anyway and their dad is not Christian. They had a naming ceremony in their garden instead.
For the ceremony I found a book of Native American poems which encapsulated what I hoped for her life and gave that to her.
The relationship is what you make it, its not just about presents at Christmas and birthdays.
Even though I see little of her now she is at university and will never return home to live, its still a special relationship and I will always be there for her.

I don't have children but have three God children. Only one of them is a god child in the religious sense.. the other two I am more just a 'special person' in their lives. I too was really honoured. My oldest god child is 22, the youngest 9. I make the effort to write to them, send postcards, text message to the older ones with phones, take an interest in their lives, babysat when younger etc. I thoroughly spoil them at Xmas and bday but potentially this is because I don't have children of my own to spoil. I like to think I will be in their lives as they grow up and do whatever I can to support them and be their friend. I have also treated their siblings in the same way and have earnt myself the title of 'fairy godmother' because of this. Enjoy your godchild...

@Jeh45 thank you for the tips, you sound like a wonderful godparent :)