Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What made you realise 'life is short'?

125 replies

luciferonearth · 29/05/2021 05:56

Just looking for a little bit of perspective. I stress about the day to day, but then think 'in 100 years from now we will all be in our graves, and none of this will matter.'

I find the finality of death a bit comforting in that way. I would hate to live forever but I think it's easy to feel like we will when we worry about the little things.

OP posts:
Pepsimirror · 30/05/2021 01:12

How does anyone “live their best life”. Most people have to work and can’t just go on holidays etc.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 30/05/2021 01:15

My dad dying last year and me turning 40 in April

TwigTheWonderKid · 30/05/2021 01:40

@Pepsimirror

How does anyone “live their best life”. Most people have to work and can’t just go on holidays etc.
I guess it's about finding contentment in your everyday life @Pepsimirror Doing a job you enjoy, or that feels valuable, working with nice people and appreciating all the small things in life.

I think it's actually not about seeing the world or "making memories" in the sense that so many people talk about. It's being able to appreciate all the little things that are already in our lives and maybe striving for less, not more.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 30/05/2021 01:44

I think it's about seeing as much of the world as you can

Sweetslumber · 30/05/2021 04:24

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

I think it's about seeing as much of the world as you can
It’s interesting isn’t it? I don’t want to ‘see the world’ or travel - that wouldn’t be my best life or make me happy. It’s a personal thing but finding contentment and happiness in everyday things is more valuable to me.
Letsallscreamatthesistene · 30/05/2021 06:28

@Pepsimirror

How does anyone “live their best life”. Most people have to work and can’t just go on holidays etc.
I dont think its about having a load of time off and travelling. I think its about doing a job you like (mainly - I dont believe anyone likes 100% of their job), having happy relationships and being able to do hobbies etc.
woodenknots · 30/05/2021 06:47

When I had my dd. I went back to my corporate job and I couldn't get back in the drivers seat. All I wanted to do was be with my dd. I quit my job and am much much poorer for it financially but I am so glad to be with my dd whilst she's young and so far I think she's happy I'm home too and I can only hope I don't regret it in the future. Imo life's too short to miss out on this though.

mrssunshinexxx · 30/05/2021 07:19

You won't regret it @woodenknots x

Shannith · 30/05/2021 07:41

My parents being told they were going g to turn the machines off when I was in ICU.

2 years later I'm still here. In full health. Amazing and I'm grateful every (well most, I'm not a saint) every day for the small joys in life.

PoloMintPatty · 30/05/2021 08:01

@Moonface123

It's very true, l try to be very aware of not over thinking and stressing the small stuff, it sucks all the joy out of life. I read a book written by Anthony De Mellor and he writes about this, and it really made me see my life through a different lens which l appreciate.
@Moonface123 I would love to know more about this book. Is it Anthony De Mello?
museumum · 30/05/2021 09:09

@Pepsimirror

How does anyone “live their best life”. Most people have to work and can’t just go on holidays etc.
I think the whole point is you need to enjoy your everyday not wait for holidays. Find a job you like or if not the job love the people you work with, do hobbies around work, spend time in your garden or outdoors, have family meals, have people round, be involved in your community and have community. My family members who died young had been very involved in scouting and were loved in their town. They kept friendships going even in the busy young children days and always had people around, they went hillwalking and gardened and although they worked hard at their jobs and were loved by their colleagues they also had boundaries and went home in time to their family
WineAcademy · 30/05/2021 09:31

I grew up in a cult, was married to an abusive narc, and breaking free of all that, living life on my own terms, was an absolute revelation. I spent the first 38 years of my life dancing to other people's tunes, and now? Now I'm me. I plan to live the second half of my life to the fullest.

NotYourAverageDaisy · 30/05/2021 09:45

DD1 and DD2 passing away, less than 18 months apart. I read something at the time of DD2's funeral, which said 'Each day that goes by, is one day closer to you'.

And it's true. Every day that goes by, I'm one more day closer to my own time to go. It was actually a real comfort to me, but it also makes me realise how short life really is

Not just my children's, but mine too, in the end.

IrishMumInLondon2020 · 30/05/2021 09:48

Being diagnosed with a grade three breast tumour just after I turned forty. Not what I had planned.

blahblahblah321 · 30/05/2021 10:04

@NotYourAverageDaisy

DD1 and DD2 passing away, less than 18 months apart. I read something at the time of DD2's funeral, which said 'Each day that goes by, is one day closer to you'.

And it's true. Every day that goes by, I'm one more day closer to my own time to go. It was actually a real comfort to me, but it also makes me realise how short life really is

Not just my children's, but mine too, in the end.

So sorry Sad
Whenwillitmakesense · 30/05/2021 10:08

People close to me dying early.

I have been struggling with stress at work recently but seeing companies letting people go has made me rethink that. I should be spending time with family and friends not worrying about work as who knows how long we have left - and I know on my death bed I will not be thinking I wish I had spent more time at work.

Whenwillitmakesense · 30/05/2021 10:10

Would like to sorry to everyone who has had someone close to them die 💐

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 30/05/2021 10:15

Pre-COVID, attending 4 funerals in 18 months of 2 people younger than me (late 40s) and 2 around the same age (then mid 50s).
That list of "must do xxxxx one day" - need to crack on with ticking things off.

zafferana · 30/05/2021 10:55

Some of these are so sad. My condolences to anyone who has lost a loved relative.

For me it's just midlife really and four friends having treatment for breast cancer in the past year. Plus the realisation that my life is half over and there are still so many things I haven't done, places I haven't been, that my DPs are slowing down and I may not have that much longer with them and I want them to live forever. At the same time, knowing I'm lucky that they're still here, as so many of my friends have lost at least one parent and the stories on this thread show how sadly common this is Flowers

Arrowheart · 30/05/2021 11:04

Mine is watching a beautiful young girl coming up to 18 dying of a rare form of cancer which had relapsed. She was sat up in bed telling me about making plans for college yet knew she would never get there. She was a ray of sunshine (she was actually called Sunny) and her loss was so sad. I think of her from time to time and think how sad she never got to live. A beautiful soul.

LeanneBrownsLonelyBraincell · 30/05/2021 11:11

When, having got OPG permission to sort my dementia suffering dads finances out, I realised that all the (desperately needed) work that needed doing on their house wasn't done due to lack of funds, but lack of motivation/ dementia kicking in.

All that money in the bank now going to pay someone to wash and feed him, when it could have made their last few years in that house comfier and healthier.

As soon as I sorted out his financials I looked at my own 'best not touch it in case of rainy days' account, and booked lots of work on my house, it made me realise I need to spend some of it whilst I have the ability to enjoy it.

Crunchymum · 30/05/2021 11:42

Another one who has lost a parent suddenly (my mum collapsed and died at home)

I'm still wading through the grief at present so it hasn't been a catalyst for anything positive in my life (no "life is too short" moments here yet). I'm hoping in time that my lovely mum's death does inspire something other than the shit way I've been feeling since she died.

DaphneBroonsHairDoo · 30/05/2021 12:08

Going to bed happy as could be . Waking up the next morning and Dh dead beside me . He had had a massive PE . It's absolutely broken me.

AmberIsACertainty · 30/05/2021 13:38

@Pepsimirror

How does anyone “live their best life”. Most people have to work and can’t just go on holidays etc.
For me its doing things that make me happy. I've chosen jobs because I wanted to do them, not for the money or career prospects. If it turned out the boss was awful I've quit with nothing else to go to, living off my savings and throwing myself into finding work.

If neighbors were being noisy and I started to feel irritated I went out. I could have stayed in and been annoyed or been annoyed that I'd had to go out unplanned, but why? Who does that help? Not me. So I went somewhere I wanted to be to do something I wanted to do and was happy instead. Nothing exciting: library, park, friends house, leisure centre, cafe. When skint I use spare cash for experiences, not stuff. So whilst I "can't afford" to waste £3 on coffee shops, I'd rather a chat with a friend than eg a cheap new lipgloss, so the coffee shop it is.

Anything I didn't need to spend I saved for the lean time, which is what enabled me to quit jobs I was unhappy in. I find if I don't waste money it's there whenever I need it, without me having to put too much thought into the situation.

I prioritize happiness. I'd love to have bought a home years ago, I had an opportunity but turned it down because it would have meant being tied into a job I hated. So I carried on renting and took redundancy when it came up.

If I can't sleep at night I won't lay there stressing about it, I'll get up and watch my favourite film or I'll do house chores. Then if I fall asleep at 6pm tomorrow it's fine, guilt free, the chores are done.

If the TV breaks I'll curse it once or twice then put on the radio. There's no point being annoyed about things generally.

I don't argue with friends, if someone I making me unhappy or stressed I stay away from them. I won't make plans with people who cancel on me because I find that irritating. If someone disappeared from my life then shows up a year later wanting a chat that's fine, I'm not cross, why be cross if I enjoy chatting with them?Although if they want a favour its probably a No.

I ignore the weight of others expectations. If I find myself in some situation I don't want to be or feeling something I don't want to feel, I ask myself what other choices do I have? I try not to take actions that will harm others and I'm not selfish, but I do put my wellbeing first most of the time and ultimately others reactions to my choices are their issues to deal with.

Im not happy all the time, nobody is. But I choose living over existing. I choose the aim of happiness and contentment in my actions, even if what I'm currently feeling is misery.

Like others, it was a sudden unexpected death which made me realize nobody knows when their last day is and so I stopped, took a step off the side of the life path I was walking due to others choices and started thinking about what's best for me and what I wanted. I wanted to know that when my last day came I'd be pleased with how I'd spent it, and all the days before it. I didn't want regrets.

AmberIsACertainty · 30/05/2021 13:41

Pepsimirror you mentioned holidays. My advice is - whatever it is that you do when you go on holiday which makes you happy, try to get it into your everyday life as much as possible.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread