Lonely only and feel so sad

[Libertyfree]

Have an only DD aged 11. She’s always needing friends to come on outings or play in garden with. We have few friends we meet up and go out with but it’s always me asking and arranging. So exhausting. In the holidays it’s particularly difficult as people are often away. We as parents try to do things with her but she says it’s boring - everything seems boring other than watching tv/films. Not interested in sports, crafts
What else are other people’s experience and any helpful ideas?

Can she not chat to friends online? Does she make any effort to entertain herself? It comes across as you do a lot of pandering to entertain her. It might just be that you feel guilty she's an only. I was 1 of 3 and would often whinge that I was bored. This was despite sometimes having friends round and siblings to annoy entertain me. It's not just an only child thing.

Where are you based? Could you sign her up for extra curricular activities, volunteering, etc?

Yes I think it’s my guilt at her being an only. Not through choice but medical reasons.
She does chat to friends online but not for long periods. She will read happily for a while.

She's really close in age to organising meet ups with friends herself, I wouldn't worry. You suddenly find your role is to taxi and give out cash. It gets a lot easier. She'll be off to town with her friends before you know it. This will probably be the last summer holiday where it's down to you.

Why the guilt about being an only, is there something wrong with being an only child
I am one, my daughter is one
I know no different

In primary school. my only used to do a couple of weeks of holiday clubs every summer as I thought it was important that she socialised. She enjoyed them, although would probably have enjoyed time at home by herself more!

My ds11 has an 18 year old brother who is (mostly) lovely with him but obviously not on the same level so is essentially an only.
Nobody asks him to do anything and we live in a small village with only girls who are older so don’t really want to hang out.
He is miserable, bored with us and hates all our suggestions of things to do so I feel your pain. Ds1 is moving out very soon so things will be even worse. I think this is a very difficult age !

I feel you
It's not the same because mines younger but she doesn't like not having other children to play with
She's so happy when next door's child is available to play
I don't have much success organising meet ups with other children. Can't understand it

“Not interested in sport” is a huge broad statement. Nothing at all?

How about street dance, diving, trampolining, mountain biking, skateboarding, ice skating, dry slope skiing, orienteering, climbing, kayaking, volunteering at a community garden project, taking a pottery class or jewellery making class, joining a drama group, joining a young writers or coding club at your local library?

If she doesn’t feel lonely then just let her occupy herself for the summer.

Thanks for replies.
She does say she’s lonely quite often.
I really hope she does make her own arrangements soon.
It was much easier when she was younger and would enjoy a day out with us.
Absolutely no sports at all. Does them grudgingly at school.