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Original poster

School dilemma - what would you do?

58 replies

Sl33py · 28/05/2021 21:23

I have a school dilemma and asking for advice.

I have 3DD aged 4,6,9

I moved house last year and only 2 children got into my local school (SchA) - 15 min walk. I appealed and lost.
My other DD got given SchB - 40 min walk.

SchA had just opened and DD1 was in a mixed year with only 2 children her age. Few nasty boys did things to upset her and she struggled to settle in. Cried every day. Other DD was fine there.

I couldn’t be in two places at once so after homeschooling DD3 for a few weeks I decided to send all children to SchB.

They are all happy at SchB and not had any problems. It is also next door to the secondary school that they will all be going to. I have to drive, sit in traffic and it’s difficult to park.

SchA is gradually growing and from sept can take all children in their own year class. No mix classes. 30 children of their own age. I can walk to this school and will do each day.

Should I move them? If given the choice they wouldn’t want to move schools

OP posts:
Original poster
Sl33py · 30/05/2021 14:34

Thanks for everyone’s comment. I can’t believe no one thinks I should move them.
It’s made me look at things differently x

OP posts:
Sceptre86 · 30/05/2021 21:45

No I definitely wouldn't move them. I don't yet drive and the walk to my kid's school takes 40 minutes with two preschoolers. My ds used to go in the pram and my dd on a buggy board. Can you not attach a buggy board to a single pram instead of taking a double buggy? I would perservere with the drive and consider moving in the next 5 years if you can.

Most school handbooks mention whether the school has composite classes, did you not check? It can be common for a variety of reasons but if you think it will disadvantage any of your children speak to school, they may be able to alleviate your concerns.

Ineverpromisedyouarosegarden · 30/05/2021 21:52

Moving schools scores quite highly as a stressful event in a child's life. I wouldn't do it unless they were unhappy.

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4 year olds General education
Original poster
Sl33py · 30/05/2021 22:05

to move would cost about £20,000 in stamp duty and moving costs. It’s not an option to move again.

This school has never had mixed years before. I was told when I looked round 6 months ago that they didn’t do mixed classes. But things change, new schools have taken some of the children and numbers are less than usual.

OP posts:
CroydianSlip · 03/06/2021 07:54

Our school has mixed year groups all the way through. It's always been a good thing in my experience.

A lot of our local schools do it deliberately, not becaise of numbers.

I really wouldn't move my DC for that reason.

LemonRoses · 03/06/2021 07:57

I’d move them probably. Children adapt. They’ll be together and less tired.

stuckinarutatwork · 03/06/2021 08:03

Why can't you walk to SchB? I'm presuming that as you were able to homeschool one of the children, you're not rushing on to get to work afterwards?
A 40 min walk would be much preferable to sitting in the car in traffic.

stuckinarutatwork · 03/06/2021 08:07

Ah - I've just seen your comments about your 4 year old not being able to walk for 40 mins. Assuming no disabilities etc., this is not normal and perhaps you could work on building up her strength and stamina over the summer break? Or could she ride a microscooter?

Disfordarkchocolate · 03/06/2021 08:10

I wouldn't move them again, too disruptive for me.

Bluntness100 · 03/06/2021 08:10

I can’t believe folks are chucking around the suggestion to move house, like it’s easily done.

Honestly op I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. What do the older kids say?

Atalune · 03/06/2021 08:12

I think it’s too disruptive to move them again.

Is b the better school? In terms of teaching and results?

Is there a bus option for secondary?

StrangeAddiction · 03/06/2021 08:19

I wouldn't change schools if they're happy but I'd probably try and get to school earlier so I could either get a parking spot/miss traffic and get them read. Or keep doing what you already mentioned, park further out and walk the 15 mins to school.

What's the bus route like to the current school? Is it possible to buy a bus pass and take them all by bus?

SpiderinaWingMirror · 03/06/2021 08:20

Most importantly
Are you in catchment for the secondary?

StrangeAddiction · 03/06/2021 08:20

**get them to read

NoMoreHGTVPlease · 03/06/2021 08:20

I am wondering why people are talking about buses etc for the secondary? It is only a 40 min walk? My lot do that to get into school in the next town, and we haven't even considered buses. Dd will do the same in september when she starts yr 7 too. Tbh as they go to school in the next town they also socialise there so it is a very well worn route!

Atalune · 03/06/2021 08:22

40 mins is quite a long walk. I think. Quite a chunk of time!

MyOtherProfile · 03/06/2021 08:23

I'd stay put and cycle. The school can't say you can't cycle because of covid. That's ridiculous.

SpaceRaiders · 03/06/2021 08:27

Keep them where they are if they’re otherwise happy and progressing. Suck up the journey in the short term. I’d also be pressing the head to allow scooters/bikes, what a ridiculous reason to put a stop to them!

MiddleClassProblem · 03/06/2021 08:29

@MyOtherProfile

I'd stay put and cycle. The school can't say you can't cycle because of covid. That's ridiculous.
The issue seems to be that currently the bike rack at school are off limit maybe due to social distancing. This should hopefully be a very short term issue though.
fluffythedragonslayer · 03/06/2021 08:31

I think if possible I'd keep them at school B to avoid further disruption.
Also perfectly normal for a 4yr old not to want to walk 40mins at the beginning of the day! I wouldnt worry about that at all. There are many adults who wouldn't walk 40mins to work every day!! Scooter sounds like a good plan.
This isn't forever either. I mean you've a few years ahead of you admittedly but it'll get easier

DropItBouncer · 03/06/2021 08:36

Is there a breakfast club? I'm wondering if you could drive them in earlier and miss the traffic.

I'm assuming it must be very urban as there is no parking within a fifteen minute walk so is there a way of getting there on public transport that might be easier?

I've moved a few times over my dc's school lifetimes and it might go well and the dc might take it in their stride. The thing that would stop me is that you are happy with the school they are in and they are happy too. You could move them for a practical reason but end up feeling guilty if you aren't happy with the school or they don't settle. And you couldn't move them again.

Summersnake · 03/06/2021 08:53

When they get to secondary you will be driving them anyway ..at least for the year 7 going by herself.

Summersnake · 03/06/2021 08:56

Bike with a trailer on the back which the youngest goes in ...then bike home

NoMoreHGTVPlease · 03/06/2021 09:01

@Summersnake

When they get to secondary you will be driving them anyway ..at least for the year 7 going by herself.
Why?
Solidaritea · 03/06/2021 09:14

School B sounds ideal, to be honest. If you've got a baby and a nine-year-old, it's going to be a long time that you'll have children in both primary and secondary. If they're nearby, you can all go together.

No bikes due to covid is stupid. Can you ask to try to fix this? Or else couldn't you park bikes/scooters elsewhere nearby? Anyway, it's likely that the rule will change soon.

A 40-minute walk or shorter cycle/scoot will be ok once they're a bit older.

Or do the park and walk thing. Again, easier once they're a bit older and the oldest child can walk the others in from where you park.