Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do you eat as a family with teenage / adult children?

42 replies

YouCouldBeSisters · 28/05/2021 10:44

We have always eaten dinner together in the evening, however I'm wondering if this is the norm?

I feel that everyone getting their own food when they want it will be more expensive, and create too much mess.

I tend to do the cooking as I am better at it, and usually first in from work. I also pay closer attention to healthy eating. I think I am just fed up with always having to do all the planning.

OP posts:
Mumdiva99 · 28/05/2021 10:46

My eldest is only just a teenager....but occasionally I ask him to cook instead. He can manages bolognaise, chilli or curry. It gives him something to do and takes the pressure off me. I still plan and shop. Sometimes my younger ones help but that is more peeling potatoes etc...

Mrsjayy · 28/05/2021 10:50

Yes we eat as a family usually only 1 adult DC here now but they cook a couple of nights a week depending on their work. We have always done a menu since kids were young just adapted as the years have gone on saves any grief.

Tee20x · 28/05/2021 10:55

When I was at home we wouldn't eat together. One person would cook dinner (alternating turns) and people would eat as and when they wanted it.

Personally I find it inconvenient that the "norm" is that people are expected to sit and eat dinner together. I get the whole point of spending quality time together after a busy day etc etc but surely that can be done at other points in the evening and doesn't have to be at dinner?

In my household - my mother and younger brother would go to bed at around 8pm so would eat at around 6 - whereas I would get in from work around 6 and would want to unwind, shower etc so that I could eat dinner in a relaxed manner. Same with other members e.g if they had a late lunch wouldn't be hungry at 6pm and so on.

Naturally, I go to bed between 11-1am so if I were to eat at 6 I would find myself getting peckish towards that time and would have to have a snack before bed.

Obviously for those with young families and children it makes more sense to teach table manners, encourage eating and so on - but adults and adult children I find a bit forced.

Scbchl · 28/05/2021 10:57

We all eat together and my teen eats with us. If she isn't in, I just leave it on a plate for her to heat when home. Id happily have a sandwhich at dinner and leave everyone to get their own but my husband likes a proper meal and does the bulk of the cooking so I imagine this is the way it will always be even when the younger ones are teens and older.

neroforte · 28/05/2021 11:02

my mum cooks for me and my dad, he eats as soon as he gets home usually, whereas i will usually reheat it the next day for lunch and have a snack for dinner. my mum is vegetarian and on a diet so has her own dinner separately.

bigbaggyeyes · 28/05/2021 11:02

We do 'some days' we always eat together on Sunday and probably 3 times a week

Nataliafalka · 28/05/2021 11:05

If we are home we eat together at about 7pm.

reluctantbrit · 28/05/2021 11:16

Yes we do. I don't see a point in cooking several meals and DD has activities where she is not home before 7pm and if she would then start making her own meal it would be always crap as there is just not enough time to cook a meal properly.

I also love cooking. I may do something which can be easily reheated if we can't wait for DD or she gets something fast if she doesn't like what we have but that's normally the exception.

EversoDelighted · 28/05/2021 11:18

Not really, most nights at least some of us will be going out somewhere, DH's work hours vary massively and it's all quite hard to plan around. Typically 2 or 3 out of 4 of us will eat together and the other will sort themselves something out. More likely to all eat together at the weekend. We have all been sorting our own lunches and breakfasts for years, I agree it is more expensive but it is easier.

MrsPsmalls · 28/05/2021 11:25

When adult ds is here he cooks on Fridays dh cooks on Tuesdays and me the rest. We eat together on our laps, watching a neflix series that we only watch together. Have done the office, Brooklyn, and now onto parks and recreation. It can be the highlight of the day!

Deadringer · 28/05/2021 11:33

Yes, we all eat together at the table every evening, 2 adult dc and 2 teens, unless one of them is eating out. I cook because i work pt from home, dh cooks at the weekend, and now and again one of the adults dc will treat us all to a takeaway.

massistar · 28/05/2021 11:33

Yes we do most nights unless someone has an activity on in which case I'll plate theirs up to heat when they get home.

It's the best way to make sure they're eating a decent healthy meal and we enjoy the chat.

Aprilwasverywet · 28/05/2021 11:35

Adult dc come guaranteed 1 night a week. And we all eat together..
We have 3 teens also who we eat with a couple of nights. 2 pre teens who eat earlier most nights... Week ends big Saturday lunch together also.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 28/05/2021 11:35

No.

MaMelon · 28/05/2021 11:36

We eat together most nights, but if DS has football or rugby and needs to be somewhere early DH and I will eat separately. We try and eat together/eat the same thing as much as possible, but it's not always feasible.

cooperage · 28/05/2021 11:41

We do and always have, ever since my DC were little. DH didn't with his kids when they were young, but when we got together it was not negotiable. It's really important to me - not only is it a good time to chat, but it promotes a healthier approach to food and eating in general.

Lighttunnelahead · 28/05/2021 12:36

We always eat our evening meal together and for us it has become an increasingly important time for spending time together - it's really the only time we have proper conversations with the teens, I'm so glad we stuck with it and when the dcs and friends round they join us at the table too which I'm told is unusual but they all seem to enjoy it.

Endofether · 28/05/2021 12:38

Yes always try to but hard with activities etc

Always aim to then have one special meal per week (usually Sunday roast) with extended family etc

Frenchfancy · 28/05/2021 12:42

Always, even if we are eating something different. It is the most important part of the day. When screens and phones are off and we discuss our day.

Babyroobs · 28/05/2021 12:43

We tend to two or three times a week but invariably our teen just take their food up to their rooms which i find sad. Also they are in and out at different times so often eat at different times to us. Youngest dd ( 15 years ) tends to always eat with us.

Champagneforeveryone · 28/05/2021 12:44

We have always eaten together, even now DS is 17. When I'm on a late shift, he and DH eat together without me.

It's something I always store I would do if I had DC and I've stuck to it. I don't care if other people don't, it's just what works for us.

TabithaTiger · 28/05/2021 12:47

No, we haven't eaten together for a few years. DC are 22 and 19. We've got different work patterns, things we do in the evenings, etc so eat when it's most convenient for us individually.

peachescariad · 28/05/2021 12:56

Yes, I cook every night - 3DC, 21, 20 & 18. We eat together every night unless someone's out, then they eat when they get back/take for lunch. Rule is I cook, they clear up, wash up and put away ….great in theory...Grin

TheSaltLine · 28/05/2021 13:29

My kids are late teens/early twenties.

We try to eat together when they are here but depends on work patterns and shifts.

Whoever is here eats together.

BrieAndChilli · 28/05/2021 13:29

mine are a bit younger - 10,12 and 14 but we eat as a family pretty much most of the time.
if someone is out/at an activity/napping (DS1!) then they have theirs when its convienent.

if everyone just made what they wanted when they wanted then it woyuld be chaos in the kitchen, it would never be clean and tidy and I would waste a lot of food as people would choose something different than planned etc, would not get a balanced diet into some of the kids etc etc.

Swipe left for the next trending thread