Help - terrified of accepting new job because of unflattering uniform

[jobdilemmahelp]

Ive been offered a job with the ambulance service and as much as I would love the job, the uniform is going to look horrendous in me

I'm sure you are all familiar with the cargo style trouser and shirt combo, the shirt must be tucked in - herein lies the problem. I have an awful large saggy lower belly and I know it's going to look horrendous in the trousers

I'm going to have to turn the job down unless anyway has any advice to help please

Awww OP, I have diastasis recti after 4 babies and totally sympathise with you. I am lucky that I wear flowy dresses and tops and aren’t required to wear a uniform as you describe. Not much advice other than to say there are some weird posts advising you to get on with it and over it but your feelings are valid and whilst it is true that nobody actually cares or will notice, it is enough that you will. Best wishes and I hope you do take the job.

Honestly, I am sorry...but the last thing I look at when seeing an ambulance crew is how fit / unfit they look like...A few months ago, while running, I met a crew on my way back & gave them a big wave, telling them to stay safe. They gave me a big smile :-) That is a great job...When you are ready, you can shift a few pounds...the opportunity to work there might not always be there. You can go it. Best of luck.

I get it, I really do. I have serious body issues, a history of eating disorders, and have fluctuated between tiny and quite fat my whole adult life. I know exactly what it's like to have your self-worth all tied up with your appearance, and it's not fun. So for anyone being hard on the OP, I sure she's not feeling this way on purpose, or enjoying feeling this way.

@jobdilemmahelp, I'll be honest, when I read your OP, my first instinct was to tell you to cop the fuck on. But that was me projecting my own frustration about how I've felt about my body on you.

I worked in offices for years. Much easier to hide the parts I didn't like behind tailored dresses with heels. I changed careers recently. Went from a lifetime in corporate roles to being an HCA (to be clear, not forced into becoming an HCA by Covid, I plan to do a Nursing degree and this is my way of building experience). I have had to wear scrubs. Now despite what Grey's Anatomy might suggest , nobody looks good in scrubs. Especially when you have to just grab what's available (once had to smush my boobs into a way too small scrub top, another time the only pants that were available were way too large, so I had to run the strings that you're supposed to tie around your waist up my torso and tie them on to my bra straps to keep them on ). I gave up wearing make-up or doing anything other than pulling my hair up in a tight bun, because the heat would melt my make-up off in no time and turn my hair into a mad frizz. The plastic aprons... Well, I've got in the habit of changing scrubs halfway through a shift. Cos after 6 hours of wearing plastic apron after plastic apron, my front was drenched in sweat from tits to thighs. Seriously. I felt gross at first. Then I got to realise that it didn't matter. I love the job and I'm bloody good at it, so fuck it if I don't look groomed all the time.

You must want this job if you've applied and interviewed for it. And clearly your prospective employer thinks that you are a good fit for it. Will you enjoy it, be good at it? I've finally come to realise that really, that's what matters.

And I hope that doesn't sound preachy

@jobdilemmahelp

That's exactly my issue *@Dixiechickonhols* , I've had several abdominal surgeries and the muscles are just non existent

I'm not even that big, 14/16 but I'm tall so not really overweight, I just have an awful, flabby saggy tummy

I’ve worn this uniform for 10 years, the trousers are definitely not flimsy and they tend to hold you in a bit. My tummy is rather large but doesn’t look as bad in my uniform trousers as in some less ‘robust’ trousers. In our control room we have all sizes from 8-28. You will probably be one of the slimmer ones at your size.

I do the same job, size 22 and after 4 abdo surgery's and 2 children my stomach is shot. I'm also a binge eater but that's another thread.

I love the job enough not to care! I'm good at what I do. Although I'm not too happy about the amount of mirrors in hospital lifts. 🤣

I can sympathise with you and sadly I think I'd be in the same mind set too, because my tummy not only hangs down it also bulges out too, so I wouldn't feel comfortable tucking a top into a pair of trousers. Shape wear is no good for me either. Because of the shape of my tummy all I does is round it off even more and make me look pregnant. For those telling the OP to lose weight. I've tried for years and years to shift my tummy and I can't. I think if it was me I'd order a fleece jacket too and wear it whilst I was walking to the desk, then take it off when I was sat down. No one will see your belly under the desk. Besides everyone's going to be that occupied with getting ambulances out to those who need it they won't even give your tummy a second thought!

I hope you're not so shouty and have better empathy in real life if you work for the ambulance service @elizabethdraper . Op is aware no one else gives a bollox but SHE gives a bollox because of her own personal insecurities. She's so insecure it's affecting her chance of doing a job she'd love. I'm sure if she could just 'get a grip' there would be no need for her to have started the thread.

In the nicest possible way OP you need to get some counselling to deal with your body image problems.
Do you look at other people and think, my god look at the state of her? Of course you don't.
My cousin has massive facial disfigurement as well as ataxia, that makes him look like he is drunk when he walks. This was due to a brain tumour, and he still gets up and goes to work.

Congratulations on your new job and remember that your colleagues are in caring professions.

I've cut to the end. Soz.

'Terrified' is a bit extreme, but, in our ultra-body-conscious/fat-shaming society, how you feel when you have to present yourself 'out there' IS relevant.

I wear scrubs. Oblongs of material. I am post menopausal and gently stacking on the weight. My scrubs fit nicely to below boobs, then they cling around my spare tyre. I am very conscious of it. I could 'size-up' but the woman who'd do that ordering is a bit of a bitch, and is almost 30 years younger than me, so I won't give her the opportunity - to get me gear that will flap around my shoulders.

Interestingly, there is a National NHS Uniform thing happening, right now. To put all of England NHS in standard uniforms. I have had my say, where I have agreed that 'fitted, quality scrubs is the way to go, but consider how many of your workforce are post 50 women. Size accordingly'.

You are not being ridiculous. Wearing clothing that does not make you feel embarrassed is a great start to making you effective in your job.

@hedgehogger1

I think maybe counselling would help if the unflattering nature of a uniform is such a big issue

You patronising... person. Counselling?

How about a bit of empathy towards someone who feels self-conscious wearing a uniform that makes them feel self-conscious. Maybe there's counselling for that. 'How Not To Be A Bell-End'

I think the OP has been clear that she doesn't think anyone gives a 'bollox' what she looks like in uniform, @elizabethdraper, it's her own insecurities that are proving to be the stumbling block here. Perhaps if you stopped SHOUTING and put some more effort into listening and empathy, you might have been more successful at getting the job that the OP has been offered?

I don't know if I can cope with feeling like that every day

I strongly suspect you won't feel like that - you won't have time, and there will be people working with you who realistically look no better.

lemonroses "If you’re call centre or office, you’ll be in polo shirts, so not an issue"

Well, in the current, ongoing National staff survey regarding the plan to put all NHS in the same, standard uniform, 'polo shirts', iirc, got something like a 4% approval rating.

No one wants polo shirts. So definitely 'an issue'.

@HalzTangz

Who actually cares what the uniform looks like, does the patient needing emergency care check you out before letting you provide are. Sorry I think you are being ridiculous about being 'terrified' of the uniform

It's not even as much about what it looks like, when you've had multiple abdominal surgeries it can be really uncomfortable to wear trousers with a tight waistband that cut your belly in half, with the bottom half squashed in against your crotch, basically.

OP I would take the job and look for some kind of undergarment that will sort of lift and round off your tummy (even some sort of maternity support knickers or under shorts) then see if you can get a tailor to adjust the trousers so they aren't squashing your tummy in two.

@elizabethdraper

OMFG HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO GET A JOB IN THE AMBULANCE SERVICE - personal experience

GET A GRIP, NO ONE GIVES A BOLLOX WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE

I’m assuming you didn’t get the job due to lack of empathy perhaps? 🤷‍♀️

You see, here, on this post, you are seeing some of the subtler reasons why people don't become HCPs.

I am seeing loads of 'when you're saving my life, I don't care how you look in your uniform'. But I'm seeing a lot less of 'but I care that you feel confident and assured in that uniform in the x % of your time that you're not saving lives'. Because all I care about is your role as a 'life-saver'.

How we present to the world is hugely important. That's why we have dress codes. And spend billions on fashion every year. Why private schools hire fashion designers to produce cool, sharp uniforms. Why we use uniforms, what we choose to wear, or are required to wear -as signifiers.

Here, we are seeing 'but you save lives/fuck how you look!' (And fuck how you feel). Cos it's a vocation, innit?

I will readily state that one of the reasons I didn't consider nursing, in 1980, was the uniform. The need to wear tights regardless of the weather. The starched apron. The hat. All 'very smart', I'm sure. And yes, I'm sure many women people were happy to wear that signifier, regardless of hassle and impracticality (and infection control).

But it is fascinating how 'the hat' has gone, and along with it, increasingly 'the dress', but towards fitted tunics and trousers, or scrubs. (Bring back Hattie Jacques matron!)

There are all but no NHS services that require tucked in shirts any more, for good reason.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Do you know what then OP, dont take the job. Id much rather a confident practitioner look after me who isnt going to let body image get in the way.

Do you know what, I'd much rather people read at least the OP's posts on a thread.

[quote jobdilemmahelp]@Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin thanks so much for the link, the scrub bottoms would be perfect, I'll ask whether they will accept those
Thank you [/quote]
No problem, good luck in you’re new role. You’ll be fab! 💐

Why the fuck should anyone have to wear 'shape-wear' in order not to feel self-conscious and/or embarrassed in their work uniform?

Why can't a modern state funded, national employer not supply uniform that meets the needs of all its employees, presumably employed because they meet the job brief?

This is 2021.

We, while mindful of the obesity epidemic (OP is what, a slip of 14/16? 😂 hardly huge!) need to understand that we come in all different sizes. Uniform must reflect that. And not require 'tucked in' shirts.

@rwalker

The uniform has been the same for years shame you didn't think of this before you wasted NHS time and money interviewing and processing your application.

Tit of the night award goes to....

It is unlikely they will accept a different uniform I’m afraid, but I have seen many many people of all shapes and sizes in that uniform and as long as it’s the right size - ie big enough - and the belt is comfy not tight it actually disguises a multitude of sins.

OP, if this is a job you really want I'd hate to see you miss out on that due to your insecurities about the uniform

I get what you're saying and these are real anxieties but I hope you can look at the bigger picture and imagine how fulfilled you'll be in the role. That's what's important.

This may sound harsh, sorry if it does. Think of it this way: at the moment, you say you can “ dress for your shape”. Chances are that you still look a bit large- tummied and lumpy in some of the outfits you think are OK- and people who see you will know that you CHOSE to look that way and judge you accordingly.

In a uniform, they will think “poor woman, that uniform doesn’t flatter but she had no choice”. Isn’t that better? You can relax knowing nobody is ever going to be judging you for your choice of clothes.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B07Y335XJK/ref=ppx_yo_mob_b_track_package_o0_img?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

These.
I wear mine all day, comfortable enough you're going to be able to bend over and help people etc. Will smooth everything out and give you a bit of confidence.
IMO a smooth, slightly larger belly looks better in trousers than when you can see every line and muffin top.
Good luck!
I'm sure it will be a very rewarding and challenging job. Go for it!