WWYD? Job offer, health problems

[ToLiveInPeace]

What would you do in my situation? I work in a specialist field where jobs are limited and any new role will mean relocating. I've been offered a job I didn't think I had any hope of getting.

I have a chronic pain/fatigue condition and I am so very exhausted. I'm aware that I don't put good boundaries in place around my workload.

I work for a local authority in lovely City A in a fairly senior role. The bureaucracy is endless, the budget small and I manage many people. Getting anything done is a battle. I've been here ten years and don't want to be here in another ten. After covering two jobs (no extra pay) for over two years, I took two months off with exhaustion last year and went back too soon. I now try to limit my (unpaid) overtime, so most of my time goes on endless admin. My boss (also overworked) is not much help.

I've been offered an exciting job in a university in rather dreary City B. I'd be running a good service with more money and a lot less line management. I plan to ask to WFH at least two days (at least at first) and commute for the other days, staying in a hotel two nights a week.

My fear is that while I think I'll be better supported, expectations will be much higher. I also fear that the upheaval and travel and new learning will tip my exhaustion over the edge.

Finally, I am the breadwinner. DH has multiple health problems (which are getting worse) and earns very little, possibly nothing at all soon. He's willing to move eventually but not overly keen. Selling our much-loved house may be tricky due to problem neighbours.

Would you stay with the secure job that's slowly killing me? Or risk more stress and (catastrophising a bit) my health making me fail probation at what I hope is a better opportunity elsewhere? Again, there are unlikely to be other jobs for me where I currently live.

(One thing I am now planning, either way, is coaching to help me establish boundaries and manage priorities).

Thanks for reading this far :)

So, I'm going to make you life harder (sorry) by reminding you of some other things you might want to consider. If you work for a LA you presumably have a good pension, from which you could claim an ill-health retirement pension if necessary? When I claimed my pension (rules have changed a lot since then so check), I would have lost half my pension if I had claimed an ill-health pension after having left, compared with still being employed.

Whereas if you move to a Uni thats a change of pension scheme and you probably won't be eligible for ill-health retirement for an illness you had when you joined the scheme.

I'm aware its much harder to retire early on health grounds than it used to be, but it may be worthwhile checking your current and possible furture scheme rules, if you think the worst case scenario of getting iller is a possibility.

I have a chronic fatigue/pain condition and unhappily I have to say when I plan for the worst case scenario it tends to turn out to have been the right thing to do.

I think I'd take the chance with the new job TBH - if you are serious that your current role is 'slowly killing you' then you need to leave it sometime and it's always going to be a risk - is there anything about the process so far for this role that honestly makes you think it's undoable? A lot less line management and a lot more money immediately sound way less stressful to me. Plus I think resetting boundaries and expectations is so much easier in a new role and new people, if you've always done XYZ for people or responded to emails out of hours etc they will come to expect it whereas if you can be clear what you will and won't do from the start people will adjust...

Have you already declared your health issues to new employer and how have they reacted? I do think this will give you a clue to whether they're going to be supportive and flexible or just treat it/you as a problem person.

Can you ask for more working from home at least initially - reverse your plan and do 3 days a week from home, 2 in the office (or even 1 in the office)? I don't know specifically how it's been for universities but I would have thought such a request would be looked at much more positively than pre-pandemic? I wouldn't want to be spending 2 nights away from home regularly so I would def work on your DH re moving home, if you/he don't like City B can you identify somewhere nicer to live in the environs, with an easy commute?