I need some ideas for improving my life

[Waze]

Im leaving my job for a "break". I am burnt out and not enjoying life anymore and extremely fortunate to be able to leave my toxic work to just concentrate on myself for a bit.

I really want to use this time to improve my life and instill some good habits. I gave the following ideas so far.

• healthy body - exercise
• go outdoors more - walks
• eat more healthy
• learn to draw
• get house organised
• plan fun things to do with kids
• volunteer
• cooking / cleaning routine
• style makeover
• improve skin

I'm sure there's other things I can add. I'm looking for any ideas that people would add to their own list which I may have not have thought of.

Sounds great. One thing I find useful is to keep a daily journal - a structured one like The Way of the Tortoise or the 5 Minute Journal.

They help you set your intentions for the day, and review them at bedtime; I work part-time so I know how easy it is to have vague plans but then let your day go to waste. I’ve done loads more since I started journaling. My journal keeps me accountable.

Also, try meditation! I’m really getting into it and love it.

And you could grow some veg? I find that very relaxing and healing.

Great ideas! I would add in something like nurturing existing friendships or adding in social activities / hobbies that are social, as for me anyway those are areas that greatly enhance my quality and enjoyment of life.

I'm at home with 4 children but have decided that I am at a low in my life and need to get myself back.
I have found using The organised mum method for cleaning really helps.
Eating properly, sleeping more (as much as possible with toddlers) and drinking less are obvious ones but really help with energy and just feeling better. The carb and sugar cycle is so easy to fall in to.
I've started using Dermatica for my skin.
Walks on my own and pilates a few time a week give me a bit of space.
A good book on the go, a magazine subscription and podcasts to listen to for whilst I'm cooking or cleaning are little things for me that I can fit in, even when I have children around.
I felt really low last week but writing it all down has made me realise that I have made quite a few small differences over the past couple of months.
It will take a while, don't feel bad if your life doesn't change over night.

LunaNorth journalling! That's a brill idea. Thank you. I will have to buy a set of nice pens too! Are those journals you mentioned like setting daily to do goals? I have lots of "that's a good idea. Id like to start that" things in my head which don't materialise. Meditation sounds great too. I'm putting that on my list!

suggestionsplease1 that's a very good one. You're right - after I've met up with even one friend for a coffee I feel good after. With covid I haven't met up with anyone in absolutely ages.

Junobug you've for your hands full with 4 kids and it's so hard to find some time for yourself but the little changes you've made will make a difference. Love the idea of podcasts whilst doing housework. Do you have any that you recommend?

Your plan sounds great. I agree with a pp that finding some great podcasts can be quite life changing as you can listen while exercising and housework, I find that without them I ruminate endlessly about negative things. Audible is great too.

Podcast recommendations, well it depends what you enjoy? I like informative, humorous ones, human stories and history, so I love stuff you should know (the only American one I can tolerate!), no such thing as a fish, Adam Buxton, Louis Theroux, griefcast, you're dead to me, answer me this, the mid point with Gabby Logan. Feel better live more with dr Rangan Chatterjee is fantastic for changing your health habits and motivation.

Improve/update skills so that when you're ready to work you can get a fantastic job and enjoy it.

You have inspired me OP. I am off to do my pocket yoga app. This is also my contribution to the thread. Yoga. The app is ok - there's also loads of good you tubers to follow.

Was going to say keep a diary. But also, don't take on too much to start with, as I suspect you'll feel bad if you don't achieve it all. Choose your top 3, say, and add in more as improvements/new skills become habits.

I have two books to recommend: Atomic Habits by James Clear and Skincare by Caroline Hirons.

I've been trying to do something similar and both these books have made a big difference. The habits one has taught me that it might be better to build incremental improvements rather than go full throttle at something and abandon it after a few days. Much more likely to sustain it then.

The Skincare one has resulted in a massive improvement in my skin. I've taken her suggestions for products and bought one or two each month just gradually adding them into my routine. I am so delighted with what a difference it has made to my skin. Next step is to learn how to actually put make up on properly!

I've been using a similar approach to clothes, identifying something I actually need e.g. underwear and then buying some decent pieces one month (rather than picking stuff up at the supermarket!) Next month I'll move on to jeans etc... It's gradual progress but a big improvement in how much I look after myself. I'd pretty much abandoned my own needs after two children in 2.5 years but setting myself a target of one thing to improve that month and then moving on to the next thing the following month feels manageable. And doesn't make me feel too guilty about spending money or time on myself!

Yoga changed my life, literally. I'm totally shite at it, still can't touch my toes and don't ever see a time when I will, but mentally I can't even recognise my old burnt out self.
I attend a class because I find my mind wanders way too much if I'm left to my own devices, but there are so many free resources out there if you want to do it online.
I also pay for the annual subscription to the headspace app.

Joining for ideas. I've just lost my dad after caring for him for nearly 18 months and although there will still be grieving and a lot to do practically and supporting mum, I'm in the fortunate position of not being back at work until September so hoping to take sometime to get myself back on track too.

for you Minty be kind to yourself. Don't put too much pressure on yourself but I hope you find some ideas here to help you move forward.

I’m also reading Atomic Habits and appreciating the “small course correction” approach. I’m often all in and as a result I often fail. When I’m in a positive frame of mind then I can roll with it, but occasionally that failure brings disillusionment.

You’ve got many items on your list that are boundless in scope, so rather than add more items to the list (which I think is admirable and exactly what I start my year with!) I’d focus on considering what success within each of those overarching goals looks like and setting yourself some smaller milestones.

I agree with PP, yoga is so damn rewarding.
I'd also conskder learning a langauge, getting in to a new genre of music, making new friends, learning to cook some impressive new dishes, mastering a few new bakes, deep cleaning the house and making it organised so everything has its place, de cluttering and making money off things you don't need...

I'd add 'discovering new places'. Organise an outing just for yourself once a week to somewhere you haven't been before, whether that's just a mooch around a nice village or a visit to a castle or other historic place. If you treated yourself to a nice lunch while there I wouldn't discourage that either!

I think if you're feeling burnt out, loading yourself with tick lists of things you ought to do is setting yourself up for disappointment. You might need to take a little time to do very little - read or watch TV, a bit of pottering. And then if you're feeling able, gradually build up.

But things guaranteed to make me feel better (even when I don't want to do them):
a walk outside
seeing friends, especially if it's particularly low key - perhaps a walk, or a quick coffee
exercise
yoga (Yoga with Adriene online is particularly kind, and may help shift your mindset into realising it's ok to be you)
gardening

I'd add, catch yourself if you find yourself saying "well there's no point in doing X, as I won't be able to do it when I'm back at work." I'm a SAHM currently, and I often find myself doing this, but the reality is that some things may drop off again - and that's ok - but I might keep some of the good things if they've become habit 👍🏻

These ideas are great! I've added the following to my list

Journalling
meditation
short course - I already have something in mind and won't be too time consuming
yoga/ Pilates
discovering new places - absolutely love this idea! HebeMumsnet

I understand what pp are saying about not aiming for too much and I am mindful of this and will mitigate this by picking just one small thing to start with from each category and then incorporate it into my day so eg. meditation for just 15 mins a day.

I'm going from FT work to nothing so I feel like will have all the time in the world!

MintyCedric I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my father at the end of last year and it was really difficult. It didn't help that I started a new job shortly after which turned out to be absolutely awful. I thought the new job would be a welcome change and get my mind off things but it made things worse.
Look after yourself. x

@Waze thank you, and condolences on the loss of your dad too. It all feels very surreal atm.

One thing I've been forced to do over the last year and a half is to listen to my body more, not the voice in my head that says "you should be..."

If I have the occasional day where I make a nest on the sofa with the cat, fuck about on t'internet and eat cake, so be it!

I've decided to give Yoga with Adriene a go off the back of this thread though, and listened to a Jay Shetty podcast this afternoon.

When I was (very) burnt out the best advice I was given was to just rest and do very little to recover for a few weeks. I strongly recommend that if you are really burnt out. I agree that setting yourself a list of tasks in this state will set back your recovery and make you worse.

But if you are only lightly burnt out, then some of the things I moved on to that brought me joy were:

• meditation
• sunrise beach yoga, and a coffee afterwards with classmates who turned into friends
• regular (high height rate) exercise
• learning to crochet and making a blanket for my niece
• decluttering
• going through all the paperwork and becoming digital
• coming up with 10 soups and 10 salads recipes that are quick, healthy and delicious and can be my go- to recipes on busy days in summer or winter (as appropriate). So when I am exhausted and need to do something easy, I have a range to chose from that I know are good for me and I love them.
• sorted out skincare. Love Vitamin e.
• went through all clothes - huge declutter
• went through all my books
• went through all the DVDs and CDs I was hanging on too
• gardening. Growing my own food and also just being outdoors and watching various things grow and thrive over the months. I like the seasonal feeling
• regular purchases of fresh flowers
• long walks with friends in beautiful places and with great chats
• a list of movies I wanted to see and worked my way though them every Sunday night. Made it an event, with lights down and popcorn for me.
• made a list of books I wanted to read and set aside time every day to read them.
• met my Mum for lots of coffees and chats. I can never do this enough
• started a 100 day reading plan of the Bible.
• sent random presents to my sisters, just to let them know I loved them. It made me feel so good.
• finally got a haircut that suits me (lots of trial and error)
• got up to date with all the life admin appointments - dentist, optometrist etc
• started taking a multi vitamin
• started taking magnesium drink

Amazing post follow you should be a flipping life guru!

My favourite that I bang on about all the time is: do something you've never done before every day.

It can be tiny things most days - try a new flavour of tea or scent of soap or walk down a street you've not explored before. But build in some bigger ones every week, month and year - from trips to places you've always wanted to go, signing up for a course, publishing a book online, making your own dress etc. I had the most amazing year doing this and kept a diary of it.

Counselling? I wondered that as you are feeling burned out and you're not enjoying life, it could be useful to reflect on how you got to that position? It's great to have plans to do loads of potentially enriching things, but think that looking inwards at yourself and what makes you unhappy/happy could be useful.