The depression creep

[Actuallyabitgreynow]

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning. I'm exhausted, DS woke me up this morning at 6am with my most precious cuddles and kisses and it was so lovely. And I got up and got dressed but couldn't find the energy to shower or put my makeup on and I dropped him at preschool and came straight home and got into bed. I'm meant to be working but don't have anything in my diary for for day and now I feel guilty for perpetuating the lazy working-from-home stereotype who doesn't do anything (for what it's worth, just had my end of year review last week and I'm exceeding all my objectives so by no means am I actually being lazy or under performing).

But it's like depression has been creeping back up on me and this past week it has just smacked me in the face. I spent Saturday night with my best friend and she has made me promise to call the doctors today to do a medication review (I'm on 10mf fluoxetine, have been for nearly 2 years now). I'm going to ring them in a bit but I just wanted to post here to get it off my chest I suppose that I'm not doing OK.

And to maybe ask for some reassurance that I'm not being lazy by spending the next four hours under my duvet?

You’re not being lazy absolutely not.

But do call the GP now. Best wishes

for you @Actuallyabitgreynow - please go easy on yourself & enjoy a bit of rest this morning - you've done all you need to do it sounds like & you're not letting anyone down.
I hope you feel brighter soon.

I know loads of people who've never suffered with mental health problems before who are really struggling right now, think it's the combination of the events of the last year plus this awful grey weather just dragging everyone down. Doubly hard of you already struggle with depression etc. Go easy on yourself, it's a tough time.

Thank you. I think it was the realisation this morning that DS was the only reason I could get out of bed (I'm a single mum). I've never been so depressed that I couldn't get out of bed, so I minimise my depression - but this morning it js very clear that I only managed because I had no other choice. If he wasn't here, I would not be able to get out of bed.

Your ill so your letting your body rest while you arrange for medical care.

Look after yourself.

Med review appointment made for two weeks time. Given that I've got a month's worth of medication sat here anyway I'm extremely tempted to start taking a stronger dose, but I know logically I shouldn't

Well done for making the appointment.

Thank you @minipie

My landlord sent 3 workmen to replace the ventilation unit today, took them 4 hours of banging about so my quiet day of rest has been fucked. Had to drag myself out of bed and sit in the living room whilst they were here. Now back on the school run and wondering how the hell am I going to cope until my son's dad picks him up at 6.

Congratulations on your review and exceeding your objectives You're obviously very successful at your job.
It's not too long until 6, can you maybe go for a walk to the park with your son? Watch a bit of tv with him?
You could curl up on the sofa with a cosy duvet this evening, put some light hearted tv on, just take some time for yourself x

Thank you @Cleverestclog that's so kind. I love my job, but more lucky than successful!

We have played a couple of games and now just waiting for his dad. Heading to my boyfriends once he is gone, he's gunns cook dinner for us and curl up on the sofa together with a cuddle. Just what I need!