Why do we put forward such awful acts for the Eurovision?

[StopSayingDueDiligence]

I can't abide the Eurovision but for many years I've wondered why we put through such awful acts and seem surprised when we fail?

Didn't we have Katie price one year?

Why don't we put through people like Adele or Rag N Bone Man, Little Simz or Florence of the Machine?

Why can't they represent us?!

We need a gimmick, we take it too seriously and try too hard. Think we should get Bucks Fizz back next year. Get the girls to pull off the boys trousers this time. That should do it.

I really liked Blue's song at the time. They were robbed.
They really weren't. Love the song, still listen to it now but on the night Lee Ryan was poorly - show must go on - he did his best but hit a really bum note, which was a shame but that's the risk with live performances.
Bloody good song though!

And dear God please no Steps
They might go down well - Deeper shade of blue, Stomp and 5-6-7-8 - still sound decent. Scooch did attempt a Steps type song mind, complete with blue outfits, dance steps, double entendres and cheese: it bombed. Was too try-hard.
Eurovision has always had songs that don't take themselves seriously or have a gimmick (Russian grannies, Polish washerwomen, Pirates, Vikings, Vampires, Angels, Opera, yodeling, Bouncy sticks, retro, synth, silliness) versus songs that are bangers, classical, ballads or as political as one can get away with.
Because of Eleni's Fuego, which didn't even win but everyone thinks of kindly, we saw a lot of scantily clad female vocalists this year. The UK, Ireland and Germany all voted for the semi-serious Lithuania this year - synth song/silly dancing: we are maybe still stuck in voting for entertainment purposes i did. At the same time, we haven't sent a 'joke' act for a while when it started being more about the song a few years ago. Maybe we do need Bill Bailey to inject a bit of fun into the proceedings (As I said on a parallel thread he could take Oti with him and subvert all expectations).

I reckon we should send Elbow.

Eurovision is like Bakeoff's showstopper: to be in with a chance you need technical ability, drama, spectacle - a musical croquembouche! The UK's never going to win if it keeps serving up spotted dick.

@AMillionMilesAway

The UK seems to take Eurovision way too seriously. We should put on a joke act, it's not about the singing anyway.

As far as I can tell, that's what we normally do.

It was just embarrassing in 2019 when we pitted a novice teenager from Hartlepool (with one of the most boring songs ever) up against experienced international performers.

He did well just to keep it together in the face of that crowd, but you could see the difference between him and the stage presence of the other entrants!

I don’t know why people are so vocal about disliking Eurovision. You get a spectrum- some good songs and some rubbish as you do from X factor or Britain’s got talent type shows.

Some entries historically have genuinely wider appeal like
ABBA – Waterloo (1974)
Alexander Rybank – Fairytale (Norway 2009)
Loreen – Euphoria (Sweden 2012)

Most people acknowledge that ABBA music has a role in music (and film) history. They may not have had the platform they did were it not for winning Eurovision even though we gave them nil points.

Compared to X factor I think the international element makes a change and it is more interesting. Also it’s only one night rather than weeks on end. When you get nationally influenced music, like the Russian grannies, its different and amusing.

Overall it’s diverse, eccentric, and for us it’s one night of family fun a year. We do score cards and pick our winner, even the family pets ‘choose’ their favourite. My teenagers still watch it, and now even volunteer to prepare the selection of random euro food and drink we have.

We once joined some gay friends who had tickets to a pre Eurovision party. It was years ago in Leicester Square and we met some of the singers. You see it differently if you meet them, for example, I remember talking to a couple of young Belgian twenty somethings. They had worked for months on a song and were very nervous, anxious and excited about performing in front of 180 million viewers. So yes , the ones we met were just sweet, modest, nervous, and excited. Just creative young people wanting to pursue a musical dream. You get a range from experienced performers to young newbies. The musical world is big enough to accommodate all kinds of music and all levels isn’t it?

With 40 countries and 20 in the final any country ( including us) is doing fine if there’s a win every 20 years. Statistically we are doing ok, even taking into account our shortcut to the final. This year whilst James Newman and his team have , no doubt, invested months of work the song really wasn’t the greatest and our staging and costume was mediocre. Some of the more camp staging and costumes just adds to the entertainment.

Eurovision is an enormous amount of fun, I massively enjoy it but would rather burn my eyes with cigarettes than watch a football match
At least footballers are good at what they do

James would have done better last year. His voice wasn't the best on the night on Saturday. The brass section wasn't that catchy (Moldova's sax man can't be bettered) and Malta had sax too (although public vote was poor compared with predictions).
The only thing I would say is that for all the 'James is being himself' they were touting, they ought to have let him wear something he was more comfy in - that black leather vertically zipped jacket made him sweat more, just made him look fatter despite the stripes and dark colour, and they should have let him wear a tee or loose shirt if that's what he wanted to do, bless him, rather than that styling.

We were supposed to be watching the Glastonbury live stream, but had access issues so watched Eurovision instead and the kids loved it! Our entry was a real let down though, just unmemorable compared to the others. I really wanted France to win, and was surprised Norway didn't do better. I was gutted they didn't play Ja Ja Ding Dong - that would have made the show!

Truly, the "rest of Europe" is really not sitting there hating the UK, either for Brexit or Eurovision.

I'm in Italy and half the country is wanting Italy to also leave the EU while the other half thinks it's a good thing. Sound familiar?

I watched Eurovision in the company of teenage Italians, and apart from the Italian entry (obvs) they liked Finland. Because that's the kind of music teenagers go for. The Italian commentators didn't diss the UK song, they mentioned he was the brother of a more famous singer, and said they thought the song was "catchy".

Musically, the UK is revered as the cradle of well, everything. British civility, manners, ability to queue and drive well, and whilst not non-existent, at least far fewer, corrupt politicians and institutions are all held up as things to aspire to.

Nobody hates the UK.

It's all a bit "you hate us because we're " when the reality is, people preferred other songs. (except for Cyprus and Greece obvs) I would have voted for the UK if I'd liked it. I didn't. I voted for Finland.

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

Really bored of the vacuous "it's political" and "they all hate us" remarks. Brits are such sore losers.

When we send a good song, we do well. Blue, Lucie Jones, Jade Ewan, all recent and all did well. When we send crap, we get crap points. See James Newman, who is not a performer.

It's a real shame we automatically qualify and don't have to face the semi-finals. Most of the bland songs get dropped at that stage, but ours go right through so we don't need to put any effort in.

Definitely agree. If there wasn't the automatic entry, they'd put more effort into finding the act instead of sending a round robin email asking "anybody free on 22nd May that can hold a note"

I would be OK with not taking part, happy for it to be on a commercial tv channel instead as there is advertising revenue possibilities I am sure.

I would send someone unusual, perhaps Sleaford Mods.

Automatic entry does us no favours. Most of the other songs will have been performed at the semi-finals so will have had a chance to lodge in the jury's/voters' minds. It's quite rare to hear a song and fall in love with it there and then - they usually have to grow on you.

X-factor style selection is a waste of time - people choose things for sentimental reasons, but the gush, tears and twaddle means nothing when it comes to an international audience.

Pps have mentioned Andrew Lloyd-Webber and finishing 5th - this proves a point. We entered something by (whether you like A L-W or not) a writer with solidly proven international popularity = we achieved a respectable result even if we didn't win.

I said this on another thread but we need something catchy, something people will tap their feet to. And a superbly choreographed dance-routine and theatricals to get people's attention.

I think it's the BBC as national public broadcaster who are members of the EBU, though I may be wrong.

Commenting that Eurovision is shite and we don't win because the voting is political is part and parcel of why the UK does so badly at it. We need to stop sending has beens and if it's a new artist, promote them properly and fgs, pick a decent song.

I think Steps would be great - they are still having hits after a hiatus of several years and have a massive following. I'm not convinced Ms Visage can actually sing very well and especially not live. I'm intrigued by Bill Bailey and wonder what he would come up with. I also have no idea whether what he did would translate outside the UK.

it's tradition OP. Find the worst performers with a terrible song and stick them on Eurovision to represent UK. Death for any serious musician, only panto acts required.

@joystir59

Eurovision is an enormous amount of fun, I massively enjoy it but would rather burn my eyes with cigarettes than watch a football match At least footballers are good at what they do

What, all of them?

Many Eurovision performers are great at what they do.

Daði Freyr is the perfect example - a talented musician and songwriter who has achieved recognition and fans all around the world because he entered Eurovision. From a country with a tiny population, now has millions of followers and is touring around Europe.

Do we think our entrant will be doing that?

They did something interesting and unique, and a lot of people really responded to it. This idea that Eurovision is only generic women in sparkly dresses singing shite is massively untrue when you look at the winners and a lot of the entries from the last decade for starters.

This year in particular there was a really strong field - possibly down to the extra time people had to prepare with lockdowns and other restrictions? I attended a preview event and watched both semi finals which meant I knew the songs before the final. Some were not to my taste and some of them were poor, but there were lots of strong songs.

Most of the other countries don’t do anything particularly magic to pick their contestants - they literally send graduates of The X Factor Baluchistan, The Voice Baluchistan and Baluchistan’s Got Talent. The Popbitch guide lists which reality TV show they’ve all been on.
popbitch.com/Gr56ann17y/uploads/2021/05/Popbitch-Eurovision-Guide-2021.pdf

However, (and I don’t know this for certain because even I’m not that much of a Eurovision nerd) I don’t think the winners normally come from the competitive reality TV route.

You can’t do anything to guarantee a win - when you look at the range of acts who’ve won over the last ten years it’s clearly a crapshoot, and it depends who you’re up against - nobody else ever had a chance against Rise Like A Phoenix or Fairytale for example. But you can do things to help avoid coming in the bottom 5 year after year after year. Solid performers who will really sell the song and can be 100% guaranteed not to hit wrong notes in either live or jury performances, so you could do worse than an X Factor/The Voice runner up. A bit of international name recognition (Steps possibly worth a shot actually). And plug the hell out of it internationally for which Bill and Oti might be a good bet.

It’s funny because when I watched the semis I thought it was pretty poor, but by the time of the final there were a lot of good contenders.

The Italian entry having been on X Factor explains a lot - X Factor and Eurovision, rock and roll, indeed 😬 I really didn’t get it and was gutted that Iceland or France didn’t win, otherwise Switzerland. I can’t even remember their song, which isn’t great.

I've just watched Mans Z winning Melodifestivalen in 2015, the Swedish route to representing them at Eurovision. The staging for that was the same high level as at the Eurovision itself - they just finessed it so the production levels were extremely high from the outset. We just don't make anywhere near the same effort. The fact everyone can now sing in English if they choose to means it's more of a level playing than it was back in the days where other countries could only sing a line or the odd words in English. If the UK wants to win it needs to really up it's game.

Was interesting that three of the top 5 weren’t singing in English this year which is pretty unusual

Most would look genuinely happy if they were doing a line of coke on camera during the voting. That was hilarious! What an idiot!

Sorry that was meant to be in response to the poster who said the winners looked genuinely happy.