Weekends are for “family time”

[HarrietHairbrush]

I have read this a couple of times in the last couple of days on here.
What do you all do as a family at the weekend?

I enjoy such valuable family activities as arguing with the dc about doing their homework, trying to do bits of housework that have been ignored during the week and hiding in the garden hoping no one finds me.

I will normally take the dc swimming or to a playground or something, and we quite often watch a film with homemade pizza or play a board game together in the evening.

Visit friends together, slob around, bake, walks it doesn't really matter as long as we do it together.

As a child spent most WE with my DGP.Rides out to local beauty spots ,Canvey Island ,St Albans and so on .As an Adult have tried to do similar with our DC and dogs .Live along South Coast now rather than London .So New forest ,Studland and so on.

The faux naive superiority on MN about terms like family time, date night, life admin etc really annoys me. Fine, don't use them (I don't) but it's bloody obvious they're to save people typing "spending some downtime together as we hardly see each other all week", "a night out together without the kids" or "paying bills, making appointments etc". As ever the idea that some people use language in a different way to them is just too much for many a MN poster to grasp.

Most of my family are in another city (divorced & no children by choice) so there is no concept of weekends family time for me. Rather sunday is "me" time. I run a business but only look at emails and do not do work on sundays unless I choose to. There is nothing so urgent that it cant wait til monday. I tend to do internet browsing, watch TV/netflix or read.

My nearest to "family" time is a week evening when my nephew comes around and cooks a meal and we share a bottle of wine.

MindyStClaire
People aren't struggling to grasp that other people use language differently. They just think some phrases are twee or silly or annoying, you know like any other topic in the universe where people have an opinion.

The thing that amuses me about conversations like:
A: What are you doing at the weekend?
B: We're having family time

is that frequently both people have children and by default unless someone has a specific child-free engagement, the weekend is family time. What's wrong with "relaxing at home with the kids / we might go to the park / we're having a day out at the zoo / going to visit grandparents", like an actual answer to the question that isn't some twee buzz phrase?

Life admin amuses me too because it is generally used when the person saying it wants to convey the are much busier than everyone else. What they tend to mean is "I booked a dentist appointment" or "I did an online shopping order", again entirely bog standard tasks that most adults do that some need to make a meal out of.

lazylump72
Your weekend sounds brilliant, and not dull at all, just a good old normal weekend with the family.

@Diddumz

I love family time!

During the week, we share the cooking and make delicious meals.

We care for our pets.

Every day, there is a family walk with our two dogs.

We live in the countryside, so we see the seasons changing. We gather berries and make crumbles and pies.

We play boardgames and watch movies.

This is deliberately faux-whimsical, right? A piss take? Gather berries? Crumble? 😂

Growing up in the 70s we'd regularly meet up with family and friends and go for picnics (we lived on the edge of The Peak District). Kids would turn feral, building dens, climbing trees, getting lost. Adults would sit smoking before joining in with huge hide & seek games. Or we'd visit NT properties as my Mum loved anything historical. If the weather was grim Dad would take us swimming, or bowling. It was rare that we just hung around the house all weekend.

When our DDs were growing up it was a mixture of soft play, swimming, walks and picnics with Freund's and family. Then we entered the Taxi Years where DD1 played County Cricket and DD2 was a competitive gymnast - and they both had big circles of friends, so endless sleepovers and parties. Just endless driving to and from various events. Pick ups & drop offs.

For the last few years they have become increasingly more independent from us, with school, part time jobs, boyfriends and their own friends (which is just as it should be). But we always made a habit of taking them out for long lunches at the weekend, just so we could relax and have a catch up together. We also often have a movie night at the weekend where DD1 and her boyfriend will cook then we have popcorn and Freak Hot Chocolates. DD2 and I have a shared passion for shopping so (pre Covid) we'd regularly head to the city for lunch and put the credit card through its paces. She's honestly the perfect shopping companion.

I’m having a relaxing day, doing as little as possible. Dh has tried to take DS out but hes refused. Tomorrow, dds want to go to a car boot.

I'm guessing your DC are younger than mine. Swimming here is training several times a week with galas taking up a whole day some weekends. Football is practice on weekday evenings but league games are every Saturday. They do sports clubs at school either before or after school as well. The pandemic was a welcome break from it all but I'm happy to encourage my children to prioritise exercise, and we've only got a few short years left of taxiing teenagers around.

OK but if it really bothers you and you hate taking them to training it's obviously not working for you as a family. My point is, early morning sports clubs on weekends are not compulsory and if parents choose to book them, why do they moan about it so much?

My kids are 10 and 7, if it matters. They do sports clubs during the week but none of us want to set an alarm at the weekend so we don't do it. We do other stuff instead, lots of which includes exercise.

I wouldn't dream of not taking my DCs to their sports training (I also have a club swimmer training x5 a week and the other DC plays football/hockey 3 or 4x), they get a lot out of it and on the whole I really enjoy it too, I get to hang out with the other parents and chat as well as watching and enjoying chatting in the car with the DCs. However it was also nice to have a complete break from it all during lockdowns.

@MrsJBaptiste even in the lockdowns we all went out separately a lot (DCs are mid teens) - we would all go for walks on our own as well as sometimes together, at weekends we might go out as a family but often there would be one person in the garden, one in the kitchen, one in the living room and one upstairs just pottering about or watching telly. In fact in the first lockdown I spent most evenings at my allotment, which was allowed and there were other people there I could talk to at a distance. I chat all the time on WhatsApp with friends too so didn't miss them as much as I might have done.

Whenever I see posts about men 'opting out of family time' I wonder whether it constitutes a kind of punishment in some households.

This thread is making me realise how screwed up our family is. We mainly hide from each other in different rooms. Occasionally the kids seek me out to ask what's for lunch/dinner. Occasionally I ask 'D'H to engage with them. We did used to do things together but lockdown has tested our marriage to the max and the though of having to do family time makes me feel a tiny bit sick.

We have a toddler and a teen so last night we all went for a meal then oldest ditched us of games console, youngest went to bed so myself and DH had a few drinks and watched a film.

Today oldest and DH went to DS Football Match, myself and youngest had a lazy morning then I went to a hair appointment, then myself and youngest went to a play/ farm near us and DH/oldest watched a football match...

Tomorrow I am taking toddler out with friends, DH is golfing, oldest is seeing friends to play football and then I am taking the boys to the barbers.

Some weekends we do individual things, sometimes we have family trips or meals out and occasionally myself and DH go for a few drinks/meal.

We don't commit to a 'family time' day as we all have other things to do also. Teen would also hate us if it was an every week occurance. We try and do things individually with them too so oldest this week has been to cinema, football and a trampoline park. Youngest swimming, role play centre and farm.

I've always wondered what the fabled "family time" is. Usually our weekends consist of parkrun, food shopping, housework and homework. And maybe a running race or ds has an athletics event.

I've no idea where so many people find the time to take the kids to NT properties every weekend. Especially when they also say they have so much "life admin" to do.

As for making time for teens I am not sure my teen would be interested in anything other than a nice meal out. And I don't have the attention span to watch a film together, although DH and DS sometimes go to the cinema without me.

@Diddumz

I love family time!

During the week, we share the cooking and make delicious meals.

We care for our pets.

Every day, there is a family walk with our two dogs.

We live in the countryside, so we see the seasons changing. We gather berries and make crumbles and pies.

We play boardgames and watch movies.

I love how MN is so many different planets...

I guess we make sure we spend some time together a few times a week. That’s it 🤷‍♀️

DD's (14) friends do this amazing 'family time' stuff.

When I suggest a walk, or something, it is met with complete contempt.

I point out that, particularly up to recently, her friends family time will have been much the same

I see it all as FOMO personally.