Do I have a drug problem?

[zenithfreedom]

I'm in my 20s and my family says I have an alcohol problem but I'm not sure. I'm currently in my third year in college and doing fine. The thing is, I constantly take alcohol/drugs to cope for motivation and anxiety relief.

When I wake up, I take a low dose of codeine and nicotine before going to college. On the weekends, I take alcohol to unwind and relax.

This all started when I was in my final year of secondary school. I was homeschooled and depressed so someone online suggested that I use alcohol which would give me some motivation. I found it worked. I even did my exams under the influence (which my family thinks is shameful). I got A's and B's.

When I went to the States, I was first prescribed benzos by my GP and took them with alcohol which I found quite relaxing. I stopped though as I found that I had complete blackouts in my memory.

I eventually also stopped taking alcohol daily/frequently as I found the withdrawals too much. Now I just take codeine and nicotine.

I've always thought that I wasn't an addict because I never did anything stupid (interestingly my family says I get very 'introverted' when drinking) and got good grades.

So perhaps I have a dependence and not addiction to alcohol.

If you cannot function without it then you have a problem. You can call it dependency or addiction, but it's broadly the same thing.

From your post, it sounds like you feel you need them to function and live a normal life. I don't think it matters what you call it, an addiction, a reliance, a dependence. If you cannot do without substances that are doing your body no good in the long term then yes, I think you have a problem. They're all unhealthy and also, they're preventing you from dealing with the underlying issue of anxiety and lack of motivation.

You know you have a problem OP and farting around with language doesn't change that.

It sounds like you are still functional which is great. Mostly people in your position slide down to eventually not being functional. So please address this now when it's relatively easy to do so. Go get professional help - and expect to need to take a few runs at it.

There is no difference between dependence and addiction. Dependency is addiction.

If you need them to function or cope then yes, you have a problem. I would say quite a severe one given the age at which you started, the variety of substances which you have used and the fact your family is aware of behavioural changes associated with your addictions.

Face it now, because it just takes one thing falling out of place in your life for things to spiral.

A friend of mine's daughter died from her dependency on codeine. She was in her 20's. So sad. Please get help to stop.

So you have a cigarette or a vape when you get up.

And a few drinks at the weekend.

Ok that is. Fairly standard tbh.

You need to knock the codeine on the head.

Your seeing nicotine and alcohol and codeine as all 'drugs' is unusual. They are all different. Addictive wise, physical health etc.

Your title says you take drugs.

OTC painkillers, a drink at the weekend, and smoking/ vaping are of course drugs in the strictest sense as is caffeine. But most people would put them in a different category to illegal stuff.

Are you in USA?

Different there.

The codeine is the one you need to focus on.

Pack that in. One thing at a time.

Definitely stop the codeine. It's wrong that you're even being prescribed it to misuse like this. There are other drugs that help with anxiety - betablockers, antidepressants etc - that are far less risky. Please be honest with yourself about how much you are drinking too. It would be easy for this to elevate without realising past what you consider a therapeutic level and very difficult to pull put of it by that point. You know there's a problem as you're posting here. Good luck.

My younger brother started off just having a bit of codeine here and there. He’s dead now, died three days before his 26th birthday.

He was academic too, went to private boarding school, university, studied abroad, did Camp America, all that well rounded privileged kid stuff.

Unfortunately things eventually got the better of him until he was buying Fentanyl analogues off the dark web. He died in his bedroom, our dad found him and had to try and resuscitate his cold, blue body for 15 minutes before the ambulance arrived.

You think you’re managing it now, just a little bit, it’s all under control, but one day, something tips the scales against you, and before you know it you’ll landslide into a catastrophic mess that you have no chance of getting out of.

Get out of it now while it’s easy, while your use is allegedly minimal.

If you think you need medicine to help with mental health, you need to go to a good therapist and get a proper, supervised prescription.

You may be right that you're more functional with pharmaceutical intervention. But the problem is, you can't do it as an amateur. You really can't--that it hasn't affected you worse than you write is luck as much as anything.

You need professional help to balance your brain chemistry. Please be really careful about coming off the drugs, too--I highly suggest you go to your GP. (I'm assuming you're back in the UK as it's relatively hard to get codeine in the States.)

You definitely sound like you have an addictive personality OP.

The real danger comes when you think you are in control of it, and not the other way round.

You are on a slippery slope that will only lead one way if you don't do anything about it.

The nature of addiction is it intertwines things, sounds like you started off with alchohol and have now gone onto drugs (albeit prescribed ones, which also lull you into a false sense of security) but there's a very big and real potential for you to relapse and become reliant on alchohol again.

As other PPs have suggested, it would be a really positive thing for you to seek help in terms of your mental health because looking at what you've written it very much reads like you have been, and you are, self medicating up to this point.

At least you're only young. Get it sorted now and your future self will thank you.
Some great advice upthread.

I find it interesting that you say you "take" nicotine and alcohol. Most people wouldn't consider it as taking. That seems to say to me it's a dependency more than an enjoyable past time.

I was pissed off yesterday and I drank a bottle of wine. I wouldn't say I "took" alcohol. It helped me unwind and I probably won't have any now for several days.

The codeine is the thing to focus on here I think. Knock that on the head if possible and seek help of its not possible

You can be alcohol dependent on as little as one drink a week. It depends on how much you 'need' that drink.

I think if your family are coming to you with concerns, you ought to listen to them. It's a red flag that you are not as in control of the situation as you think you are.

Yes, it sounds like a problem to me, and you would be better stopping and dealing properly with underlying problems such as depression/lack of motivation.

Good luck whatever you decide

Codeine taken like this is dangerous. You need to find a way to stop taking it. You should not stop suddenly. Codeine is an opiate, and just like other opiates such as heroin, you are likely to have awful side effects if you just stop. You need someone to help you plan a paper.

Whilst addiction and dependence are potentially two different things (you can be addicted to something and not dependent, for example) it is splitting heirs in your case. This needs to stop for your health. I've worked with loads of people doing similar things; it always spirals and is much more of a problem than anyone perceived it to be.

Wishing you success OP, and hope that you find some support to find other ways to manage

You “take” alcohol and nicotine. Sounds like it’s been written by someone who’s been through recovery so I call reverse. Are you worried about a family member OP?

Hello OP.

You won’t believe how many people are addicted are codine. That’s why in the U.K. if the pharmacist recognises that you are buying it to frequently they will stop selling it to you. Prescribed drugs is one of the biggest drug addictions in the US and U.K. Many of whom were put on the path by their own GP.

A friend of mine passed away ( in their 40s) due to codine addiction and I have a family member who now buys it from a dealer. Both women. Both who had major pain issues.

Also if your using alcohol as a crutch - you’ve got an issue.

There are Alcaholic and Narcotic online groups that run 247 and are easy to join in. It might be worth just going on to see if you can recognise your own habits and you will receive lots of support. They are very friendly.

The codine IS a problem. It alters your heart rate and breathing. Plus you will start to need more and more to find that relaxing state. Plus it can give you terrible head aches when your taking it too much.

You can get beta blockers of the GP for anxiety and take them when they are needed - they have a similar effect to codine but these are also addictive because of the calming effect but are less dangerous to your body.

Check out AA online and you should be able to find NA online through it.

Good luck

Yeh you have a problem. But there is help available!