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conflagration of crap

4 replies

livingunderarock · 18/05/2021 13:05

Didn't get a job that would have really turned things around for me. Stuck in a job that is not giving me the experience I had hoped and feel like I will never be able to progress to a better job, being as I so fucked up that interview. So long since I did anything I could 'sell' at an interview that I couldn't give them what they needed.
Earn hardly anything.
We are not returning to the office and I hate being stuck at home working. Haven't seen anyone for weeks.
Went out in town and got really sad seeing people eating and drinking with friends when I do not have friends to meet up with and do this. Such a simple, ordinary thing to do. I do have friendly acquaintances but they are mum friends and I see them for mum things. Even then, of my three mum acquaintances found out in past few days that two of them did not invite me to their kids' birthday (more of a small group social than a kids' party due to lockdown) even though I invited them to my sons'.

Just dumped the guy I was seeing as he cancelled on me, again, despite knowing how upset I am about the job and being lonely not seeing anyone for weeks.

Tbh, I am so low, I've tried to hard for years now, but feel like nothing is ever getting any better and I am so lonely that if I didn't have the kids I would end it all.

OP posts:
Idontknowanymore05 · 18/05/2021 13:29

Big hugs.

Don't give up. Keep applying for jobs that are suitable. Put yourself out there to meet new people. Maybe join a new hobby?
Apart from mummy friends, do you have any childhood friends?

livingunderarock · 18/05/2021 13:51

No. I moved four years ago and have had to start over again. I just feel defeated at the moment. I'm tired of trying and battling. I wish I could just give up but I can't because of the kids.

OP posts:
Ilovelove · 18/05/2021 14:00

If it can get so crap it can get better in equal measure.

FWIW well done on getting rid of the boyfriend. That shows you value yourself and that is a great place - even if you don’t feel it right now. You have cut that dead weight off which will give you some time to recover from your recent disappointments.

Write it all down, get it out and then burn it and then treat yourself with kindness and gentleness.

livingunderarock · 18/05/2021 14:09

Write it all down, get it out I do that a lot! I'm not so good at the treating myself with kindness. I just feel like such a bloody failure because I have failed so badly.

I am sad about the guy I was seeing as he was at least someone I could text in the day about this and that. But he was just making me feel shitter overall and the latest cancelling on me was the final straw. And you're right. I'm not letting anyone treat me like crap again, so I guess that's something.

OP posts:
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