Adult autism referral - what to expect?

[EatingApplesAndBananas]

I've just been to the GP about my mental health, which isn't good at the moment. I mentioned that I've always thought I was autistic and that this probably accounts for a lot of my struggles. I did a screening which came out high. The GP has referred me to the adult autism service. I'm wondering what happens next? I know I should have asked, but I didn't think to

I was assessed a couple of years ago. Given an appointment, asked to fill in long form, went and met mental health assessor, told I'd have (I think - I'm trying to remember) two more meetings in which various questions/tests to fully assess.
It was fine. The mental heath person (think it was an OT) was lovely and put me completely at my ease and I enjoyed answering it all (I like thinking about myself in an analytical way). Ask me questions if you like - if my answer sparks off further questions.

Hi @giletrouge thanks so much for your reply
That doesn't sound too daunting at all which is great to hear!
If you don't mind me asking, do you feel it was worthwhile getting a diagnosis (if you did)? I've been wondering today whether it would be helpful for me or not, having got this far through life without. Also, how long did the whole process take from referral to conclusion?
Thanks again, really grateful to hear your thoughts and experiences

I was nervous but I wouldn't say it was daunting - like a lot of things the nerves were worse than the experience, I was surprised how quick it was actually - I know this isn't the case for everyone so I was lucky. Once I was referred I was offered an appointment within a few weeks and once I was in the system it all chugged forward without much delay. I can't remember exactly but I was pleased that it didn't drag on.
Getting a diagnosis was the tricky bit because they decided I am not autistic - and I'm still not sure I agree with that but I have accepted that that's what they think. Basically, although the discussion was quite creative and wide-ranging, it still comes down to tick boxes/points - if you don't tick enough of their boxes then the conclusion is that you're not. Also being an older woman I feel put me at a disadvantage for being properly understood. I'm very well adapted. I can't help thinking if I'd been assessed thirty years ago (which obviously wasn't an option) I'd have presented much more clearly without all the life-hacks I've developed. But in my case - and I said this at the beginning - it wasn't that I was going through the diagnostic process because I expected to get anything from the system at the end - it was very much for my own self-understanding.
Having said all that it has put something to rest in me. For quite a few years I was full of the question - is this what is 'wrong' with me? I've kind of stopped obsessing with that thought. So it was helpful but not in the way you might think.
They will probably want to know what you 'want' - what you expect to happen. It's worth having a good think about things before you go - but the initial questionnaire will spark those kind of thoughts anyway. I presume it's a more-or-less standardised NHS-wide process.
Phew that's long. Hope it's helpful?

I had a long wait after that!

Then about 6 months later I was emailed A LOT of questionnaire’s to fill out!

I had to that these to an appointment where a psychiatric nurse used these as the basis of our conversation. It was a 3 hr appointment IIRC. I had to wait another 6 months for them to issue the report with the diagnosis but he did tell me on the day that although he had to discuss with colleagues before confirming, his recommendation would be that I was given a diagnosis.

He was lovely and he changed my life that day (despite the dubious wait times and being issued the diagnosis by letter). My GP called me to confirm she’d received the diagnosis, offering to refer me to counselling, the counselling service rejected the referral as they “don’t work for autistic people” and I’ve not had another contact with the NHS regarding autism in the 4 years since!

The diagnosis alone changed my life however. I got reasonable adjustments and some extra coaching at work that helped me find my way. After not holding down a job for more than 3 months for several years, I’ve now been with the same employer for 5 years and promoted twice in that time.

The key I would say is to not expect any help or treat it as a label or “excuse” (I have seen others do this!) but to use it as a tool. Do plenty of research and reading about autism in women, find people online to share experiences. Use this information to make some adjustments in your life to make it work for you. I split things in life that I was uncomfortable with into “necessary evils” that can’t be avoided i.e. dealing with banks/utilities/services and “things I do because I think I should” i.e. socialising in a large group. I rebalanced my life to remove some things that I was doing because I thought it made me look normal rather than enriched my life and suddenly found I had much more energy to deal with the “necessary evils”.

I also learnt about strengths of people with autism and tried to identify some within myself. At work and in my relationships I try and weight my contribution around my strengths.

Also, I gave myself a break! I allowed myself breaks after socialising (full on, under the duvet rest rather than trying to keep going with housework or something) and stopped replaying conversations in my head from 10 years ago that I “could have done better”. I accepted myself for the way I was, knowing I was autistic, not a failure and the mental space was incredible.

Mine took about 2 yrs but has changed my life and my understanding of myself. Good luck x