How much is a reasonable sum to give daughter

[Bertha1924]

I stay with my daughter, my son-in-law and my two grandsons aged 9 and almost 5. I am welcomed by both my daughter and my son-in-law as it gives them time to go out together or do what they want (and also a lie-in on Saturday and Sundays. I get to enjoy time with my grandsons and I enjoy playing with them (second childhood). I was wondering how much is reasonable to give my daughter and son-in-law towards my meals I buy a takeaway once a month for us all but I don’t feel that’s enough. They haven’t asked for anything but I want to be fair. Thanks all for a suggestion.

Different families have different budgetary constraints so can’t always make the same choices. If it were our household, we would not accept you contributing to groceries. I’d let you pay for the occasional takeaway only because I know if I didn’t, my mom would just not get them at all.

When I began reading I thought you meant 'staying' with them in the Scottish sense, ie you lived there full-time. But now you have clarified I think that unless they're in financial dire straits, you really don't owe them anything OP. They are getting the free childcare from you (I know it is probably a pleasure to you) and also the regular takeaways. Everyone sounds happy. What a lovely harmonious family!

There’s no way I’d accept money from a parent or PIL.

I’d just do as we always do when staying with friends / family - bring bits and bobs to share, or that they can put away - a bottle of wine or gin, some cheese and crackers, that sort of thing.

Paying for a take-away is lovely, and you could also just ask when heading out if they need anything from the shop.

I really wouldn’t want family thinking they needed to give cash.

I think you should sell your home and gift them the proceeds. 😀

Nothing!

Nothing... it's childcare not a holiday

I’d arrive with £20 of groceries & buy the takeaway.