He's been unfaithful and I don't know what to do

[unicum]

Regular poster on here so changed my name, but trying to get my head around this.

I have a long term partner, we've always had a fairly relaxed loose relationship as it suits us both. Marriage and kids aren't for me, but I'm not into open relationships or anything like that either.

I was at his last night and he let me use his laptop to look up something, but he clearly didn't realise it would autocomplete sites he's been looking at or using. I know he looks at porn (yeah I know it's hated on here, but I don't have a massive issue with it) but it completed to a site called fabguys.

I'd seen on here before about a similar site called fabswingers, this looks to be by the same people. But this is a site for men to meet up with other men and men dressed up as women. I only know because today I looked at the site and signed up a fake account and lo and behold found his profile.

I honestly don't know what to do or say. You can leave reviews on the site for your conquests and they seem to date back several years! I knew when I met him that he was sexually adventurous but I'd always just assumed with women. I'm not exactly innocent myself but my parents divorced when I was a teenager and whilst it's put me off marriage I also don't want to cheat or be cheated on the way my mother cheated on my father.

I know I have to get rid of him, but do I bring up what I've found or just say it isn't working and move on. Our relationship has been okay, ups and downs like anyone else, but I didn't see this one coming.

Just say it isn't working for you, and move on. There's nothing you can say to fix it and discussion can only lead to arguments and recrimination.
And I know this isn't pleasant, but your partner probably sleeps around so get an STI check up

OP you're feeling shaken because you've only just found out and it feels like it's turned your life upside down. But you don't have to do anything right now, it's OK to take some time to think about what you want and how to get there. Take it at a pace that suits you, and if that means not doing anything while you think that's fine. You can tell him it's not working out any time you're ready.

When you say loose relationship what do you mean?

I'd ask about it out of sheer curiosity, I guess. Echoing a pp though - what does a 'loose' relationship mean? Was anything agreed?

I don’t think it matters at this point what was agreed or not. OP isn’t happy with what’s she’s found out and doesn’t want to continue the relationship. So to me it doesn’t matter whether he thought it was ok to sleep with other people. OP can end the relationship regardless.

I think if you want to avoid getting into it all then I would just say it isn’t working for you. There’s probably little to gain from discussing it all.