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Original poster

Can't be bothered with a relationship

43 replies

SingleDontWantToMingle · 16/05/2021 12:34

I'm mid 40s. Split from DP a couple of years ago.

My friend just asked me if I'm planning on joining dating sites now lockdown is coming to an end.

I can't be bothered. I'm happily single. Nice house, just DD and I. DP has her EOW which gives me time to spend on my hobbies. I work full time, love my job and I'm financially comfortable.

One of my hobbies is hiking, I'm in a hiking group that has been meeting up since last July in groups of 6 (apart from when we've been in full lockdown). There is a man I chat to who has been on several walks in the same group as me. He has suggested that we meet up by ourselves for a walk we both want to do. He is a single parent to 3 children between the ages of 6 and 12 (he's the NRP but has them often - I think EOW and 1 or more nights in the week). I know I'm hugely jumping the gun here but the thought of being in a relationship with him sounds like a nightmare- 4 children to juggle.

Anyone else quite happy being single and has no interest in a relationship? I just can't see what good a relationship would bring to my happy little life. It seems to me that a relationship would just bring a load of hassle with it.

OP posts:

OhWhyNot · 16/05/2021 13:37

A few years ago my sex drive went through the roof had a few passionate flings I think it was my body telling me this is your last chance for a baby

I don’t feel like that anymore i miss sex at times but I don’t miss a full on relationship. A FWB for the odd occasion and to help me put up some shelves would be ok but that’s about it and even that is more of a fleeting thought

I look forward to my time when I am only thinking of me and what I want to do

Original poster

SingleDontWantToMingle · 16/05/2021 13:37

She finds that a lot of men she dates want to move in straight away - because she has a nice house. So be careful of that too.

I don't want to mix finances with anyone. That's another thing that seems to be more hassle than it's worth once you are older.

You've all made me feel better, thank you.

OP posts:

MrsBunHat · 16/05/2021 13:38

Yes me too. A small part of me misses having a relationship, but I like being single too much. And yes to the nice bed, bedding, my own space that I don't want to share.

I wouldn't mind a nice occasional FWB but what are the chances. He'd have to fancy me (50+ battleaxe), I'd have to fancy him so that's not many men, we'd have to get on well too, he'd have to be happy with the occasional shag and mainly being told I don't have time. Well they're queuing round the block as you can imagine.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships

jakalaka · 16/05/2021 13:39

Absolutely no interest in a relationship, or dating, ergh -- it looks awful! I would be fine with a FWB but have no interest in a man fucking up my extremely satisfactory life. Just... what for. What a burden men are (IME!).

OhWhyNot · 16/05/2021 13:39

I didn’t like OLD

Would never go back to it. It’s tiresome

Afonavon · 16/05/2021 13:46

If something happened to my relationship with DH, there is no way on earth would I want to bother dating anyone new. What a ffaff it would be getting used to someone new, their hogging my space and time, and getting used to new person smells and annoying habits...no thanks!

Crinkle77 · 16/05/2021 14:22

@SingleDontWantToMingle

Now peri menopausal I’m quite the opposite

I've wondered if I'm peri menopausal. I always used to have crush after crush. Now I'm just not interested.

I feel exactly the same.Glad to know it's not just me!

newnortherner111 · 16/05/2021 15:46

OP you are I know not alone, and this should be respected. Better to be single than in a bad relationship.

DinosaurDiana · 16/05/2021 15:48

I am in a marriage, but not sure for how much longer, and I know for sure that I would never live with anyone or marry again.

Original poster

SingleDontWantToMingle · 16/05/2021 16:32

And yes to the nice bed, bedding, my own space that I don't want to share.

Urgh. A big, farting, snoring, wriggling man to stop me getting a good night's sleep in my own bed. Hmm, what benefit does that add to my life again?

OP posts:

Original poster

SingleDontWantToMingle · 17/05/2021 09:23

I messaged him last night to say I was happy going on group walks because I'm working from home and it's nice to mix with people. He came back with, well now things are opening up, shall we go out for dinner. I've responded saying a group meal sounds like a good idea. Hopefully he gets the message.

OP posts:

bigbaggyeyes · 17/05/2021 09:26

I completely see where you're coming from op. If anything happened to my dh I'd happily live on my own. There's also no way I'd date a man with young dc. Urghh been there, seen it and don't want to do it again.

It would be nice to have someone to go to dinner with, but I also have hobbies and friends, I'd just ask them tbh.

Pinkpigs · 24/05/2021 19:23

I'm 34 been single 3 years and love it I have no interest in men at all I don't miss hugs kisses none of it I'm very happy on my own I get ask you should find someone you must be lonely bla bla bla NO I'm really happy with me myself after a ten year relationship from hell I'm free and I'm staying that way

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 24/05/2021 19:30

I’m not actually single, I have a pretty lovely fella 😁 BUT we got together almost accidentally after me being divorced for 7 years, with just a couple of of short term relationships in between. I haven’t lived with anyone since my husband though, and don’t live with my fella now either, (nor have any plans to) and really just came on to say that I was really very, very happy being single. If my fella and I spilt, I wouldn’t even think about getting into another relationship 🤷🏼‍♀️ I love my space, time, and freedom

Gilead · 24/05/2021 20:20

Love being on my own, I have no intention of having a relationship with benefits or otherwise!

zonkyzonky · 01/10/2021 19:25

Hoping to revive this thread...

Just out of interest, is it the fact that you have child/children that predominantly has made you feel completed/fulfilled as well as having a good support network of friends/family for companionship?

I'm single but currently pregnant so I'm not looking for a relationship etc but I would like physical intimacy/sex with someone on a regular basis (I've done FWB but it ended badly) on the other hand I'm not keen on ONS (also did a number of them)...

Some of my single friends who don't have family or child/children seem to be more inclined to be persistent in trying for a relationship.

I agree with the other posters in general that relationships are hard work and usually would involve a lot of compromise that for women who have been married and now (happily) single/divorced/or those who are happily single this isn't something they're not willing to sacrifice their comfort and stable lives for.

Iflyaway · 01/10/2021 19:31

Anyone else quite happy being single and has no interest in a relationship?

Absolutely!

Can't be bothered with a man child looking for a woman to solve all his problems.

could do with sex though lol

user1471538283 · 01/10/2021 19:47

I think definitely going through the menopause changed the way I feel about a relationship. I used to pine a little for one.

I've got a bf but i am not full of angst and upset. I honestly couldnt consider having a bf with small children. I did all the heavy lifting on my own for the whole of my DSs life and I'm not doing it for anyone else.

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