To those with zero/v.low libido...

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Has anything helped?

I haven't had a sex drive really for about 8 years. Not on hormonal contraception any more...no anti depressants...adore dp, who is gorgeous...not overly tired, stressed or depressed...no DC and normal working hours...no smouldering relationship resentments... It's just not there. I never fantasise, don't ever feel the urge to watch or read porn, in fact, apart from worrying that poor DP is frustrated, I almost never think about sex at all. I can enjoy it while I'm doing if but I never feel horny or sexy or in the mood. It's like getting a head massage at the hairdresser's....while it's happening I can appreciate it feels nice but i never think about it or fancy a head massage at any other time.

I've been reading about thyroids and low testosterone etc getting more and more depressed. If low testosterone is the culprit it doesn't sound like anything much can be done. All the other literature seems to be geared at people who have sexual urges but have stuff getting in the way...rather than people who just don't feel it any more.

Has anyone found a way to live with this and not had to end their relationship? I adore DP I want to be with him always.

Can I respectfully ask that only people in the same boat reply on this one? I'm aware these threads usually get a lot of people with healthy sex drives on them saying they couldn't stay in a relationship with someone with no sex drive so I am very very aware this is how many people feel. I'm just depressed enough about it already without needing to read more of it please - feeling very delicate and hopeless...hence being up thinking about it at 2am

I’m in exactly the same boat OP so you’re not alone. I have pcos and do have low testosterone levels. I find it helps to do it more often if I can (easier said than done when you don’t want to) as the longer I go the less I want it. Also, I bought a bottle of tingly lube which I sometimes put on down there and the sensation helps to get me in the mood. But it is difficult and I really feel for you

That must be really tough, OP :(

I know you adore your DP and feel he is gorgeous which is so very wonderful, it sounds like he makes you very happy :) I am just wondering in the bedroom department if there is something he could be doing that might help you get in the mood more? Sometimes there are drop-dead gorgeous men who just don't quite do what their partner needs for whatever reason! And if they are not quite doing what you need for a long enough period of time, it can result in a lowered sex drive overall, you can just "switch off" as it were.

So I'm wondering if you have had a good sex life in the past? If so, was that with your current partner or a previous one? And do you think anything was different then to how it is now?

I am in the same boat. I had a high sex drive until I was about 21 and a half, and then like a light switch, it was gone. I just didn't care anymore. Wonderful husband who I find attractive, I just never ever ever feel horny anymore. We have sex maybe once a month but I'm just going along with it. I do enjoy it but I'm not as imaginative or fun as I used to be! Just cba and I don't have those fantasies any more. I've often wondered why but never got it checked out. I worry about him leaving or cheating because he'd love more!

dreaming174 that's exactly how I feel too. Teens and early twenties I definitely remember having a "drive" but now it's just completely gone!

And Avelosa yes to feeling worse the longer it's been...I get so fixated on it if it gets to two week because I know DP must be feeling it. He's never pushy or sulky but I know he'd have sex twice a day if possible so the poor man must feel frustrated and disconnected. Anyone had any joy with scheduling (even if it's just mentally)? I was thinking maybe I could just make Sunday morning designated shag time and stick to it.

You could try and bring up your own vibe, make yourself really happy buy thinking of something fun or a nice memory which in turn will make you smile and you will feel more attractive and playful. But I can understand its hard xx