Stuff that is supposed to make your life easier (but doesn't)

[Slub]

DH recently installed a light in the downstairs windowless loo which is motion sensitive.
Great!
When having a wee I now have to wave my arm around at least twice when plunged into total darkness

I hate smart buildings. Used to live in a Mario Botta one. Shutters would go down the second the sun hit the window and I might have been breastfeeding on sofa and found myself in total darkness and you can’t override the system for 10 minutes and lift them so had to turn lamps on. Hated, hated it!
Not so smart building.

Self checkouts.

OMG yes! Self Checkouts - obviously designed by a fucking sadist who is sat in his tower cackling at the unfortunates who unwittingly were lured in

Roomba.. worst thing I've ever bought. I'm always rescuing it, or helping it find its dock or emptying it. Normal Hoover takes less time.

Ps tell your husband is increase the timer, most timed lights have a small switch with a minimum and maximum setting. I write this as I assume he didn't read the instructions (like mine didn't)

The radio times

Cling film dispensers

Garlic crusher - total rubbish (sorry that's not high-tech, like the previous examples)

Definitely self checkouts.

Free-standing loo roll holders. I only have one fully functioning arm/hand. There's nowhere in our main bathroom to fit a wall mounted loo roll holder. In fact, make that all loo roll holders.

A million menu input car manufacturer sat navs - get in the feckin’ bin. I refuse to use self check outs.

Fucking Alexa. I don't want to bellow several times 'turn the lights on', I could have switched the switch many times over.

GP Appointments - allegedly "more efficient" to only be able to ring at 8am and "It's OK to tell our receptionist" like thats what any fucker wants.

Alexa does my nut in - you’re listening to the news and something particularly interesting comes on, so you ask her to turn the volume up, but it goes silent for 10+ seconds while she computes the instruction, so you end up missing whatever it was.

I do use my garlic crusher all the time, though.

Motion-activated sanitary bins at work. They are very temperamental, so I find myself stood there, drawing sigils in the air like a wizard over the motion sensor trying to be noticed. Often they don't work at all, and then there's no hygienic way to open them.

The ones with a foot pedal never fail.

Pool cleaner sucky things. Perhaps there’s a £4000 version that works perfectly, but the normal ones are ridiculously time-consuming.

Untangling it, pulling out blockages, emptying the filter, sitting wondering why it’s doing 80 tiny circles in one place instead of moving around the whole pool. It seems allergic to certain types of leaves, and just sulks if one falls in.

And it’s loud and annoying to swim around, even when it is working.

Wireless printers. Lost many a year of my life arguing with my laptop saying it can't find the fecker even though it's right in front of it. I've tried rebooting it and reinstalling it and threatening it with throwing out of the window but nope it still 'can't find printer' half the time.
I've relented in the end and bought a USB cable to connect it now

300 page car manual for a Ford when you just want to find out what the poxy red sign means.

8 options for an oven (who 'steam bakes'?) with symbols so small you need the manual and glasses.

Digital microwave when you just want to reheat something - give me an on/off dial!

(I like self service tills - don't have to be pleasant to it and I pack at my speed)

I bought an electric cheese grater as I struggle to grate a lot of cheese at once

Thought it would be ideal.

It grates cheese yes. However, it also regularly stalls because there is a lump it can’t grate for some reason and when it’s finally finished, there’s 6 pieces to wash instead of just one.

I love my garlic crusher.

@sniv like a wizard!! I'm howling. I have this issue where I work.

Food processor. The hours of wrestling it out of the cupboard and finding all the bits and all the washing faff.

Definitely alexa, I wanted it to do a sum, shouldn't have specified £ and before I'd even gotten to the amount I wanted deducting, Alexa stated "x lbs is y kg" noooooooooo.
Alexa, when is rain expected in Y tomorrow?
"Tomorrow, in Y, you can expect rain"
Yes but when?

Juicer. Can make a healthy juice in less than a minute. Takes 10 times as long to take apart and clean.

Dishwashers.
By the time you've done all that it involves- had to rinse off mucky stuff, dry stuff that's still wet, clean them, add salt, load and unload etc, it's quicker to wash up by hand as you go along.
I know a lot of people won't agree though.

The Internet.
You look up a beef stew recipe, and 2 hours later, you've trawled mumsnet, posted on social media, and spent £50 on Amazon.