Telling people to talk is not enough

[Timetobuckup]

I agree that we need to be more open about how we are really feeling
I agree that we need to be supportive to those that are willing to share
I agree that it is a healthy thing to do to open up and start that process.

But after the talking there just isn't the support out there!

For some people and some situations just getting off your chest and having a good emotional 'vomit' makes the world of difference and it is great. However a lot of people have been told to talk, to tell someone how they feel, to be honest about their pain.

And the professionals just are not there!

I don't have the answers (other than funding, training) but I wish the narrative was changed from 'It's good to talk' to 'Why the hell is CAMH's etc got a 12-18 month wait list for seriously ill teens?'

And that is without even touching on adult services who are also in a bad way!

@motogogo I am absolutely talking about very serious issues. I won't go into details here as they are not my stories to tell but I do mean young people in crisis are not getting any support. The amount of cases being bounced back to schools is awful.
We are very good at the nurturing/wellbeing aspect but that is not enough at the moment. It was a struggle before the pandemic and it is only getting worse.
CAMHs and other services can also be a postcode lottery. It is however good to hear that some areas are managing better.

I 100% agree. And CAMHS if you have autism, even more useless. We are able to pay privately. But yes, yes, the whole 'reach out' and 'talk'. I can talk from now until the fucking world ends about my mental health, until there is a spell to bring back the dead and cure autism, it's always going to be there, practical support is what helps but it's not forthcoming. I don't have time to waste fucking 'talking'.

Couldn't agree more, OP.
We had a Mental Health Awareness campaign at work recently - we've been working from home for 14 months now, most of us haven't taken holidays, phones hardly stop ringing and everyone feels overwhelmed.
We were encouraged to start every meeting with "And how is everyone feeling?" as a way to show people there was no shame in opening up to the team.
Next meeting started with a giggly "Oh, sorry, almost forgot, how is everyone feeling?" I'd learned the previous day that a close friend had died, so I was feeling pretty shite, but how do you broach that in front of 20 people, especially when you can only see six of them on your screen?
And when you only have 15 minutes allowed for said meetings, you only get a minute or two for the 'check in' so even if one person says "well, not great.." you have to speed on to the next thing anyway.

The MH services are dire. They seem to only want to lock up imminent suicides and offer some form of help to psychotic people. It doesn't seem to matter how seriously ill someone is, if they're not psychotic they're not getting any help. It's all 'sticking plaster', acute crisis-type help. People are left until they reach that stage then put on a waiting list! Situations should be dealt with much sooner.

Taking is bullshit. If a person is eg being bullied by their neighbours or constantly harassed for drug money/beaten up if they don't hand it over, antidepressants isn't going to fix it, they need somewhere else to live. If they're not capable of sorting that out themselves then thy need someone else to do it for them, talking isn't going to solve the issue.

It annoys me actually that a person isn't even 'allowed' to be unhappy if they've got good friends. Everyone constantly asking what's wrong. Nobody allowed to be quietly unhappy, having to put on a fake jollity to be left alone.

What's the point of taking about what's wrong if the person they're talking to can't fix it? Some people Iike to vent fair enough. But to others, focussing on what's wrong, especially when it can't be fixed, is not at all helpful.

I had a physical health problem that left me crushingly tired. When I was honest and told people how I felt I was: told to take vitamins; accused of being lazy or workshy; had people I barely knew wanting me to tell them all about it etc. I soon learned to tell people "I'm fine". I can't imagine being faced with similar response if I was mentally unwell. Talking isn't always the answer, especially when the people you're talking to aren't professionals in the field.

It was Rethinks Time to Talk campaign led by the Royals that spearheaded getting everyone talking. I feel more sceptical seeing how that's gone for Harry. Talking isn't the answer, finding strategies that work for you is.