Financial guidance please. I need to leave my husband for my own mental wellbeing.

[vipersputpaidtomylastusername]

Married 20 years. 18 and 17 year old, both still at school. About £370k equity in the house. I earn almost 5 times what he does (always been the main earner).
What will I walk away with?

Thanks.

Anyone ? Please.

You could try asking in the legal section, there are some very helpful posters there. Good luck, peace of mind and mental well-being is priceless.

I have no idea but I couldn't not try to help, I'm young and uneducated on legal stuff like this, you could try making an anonymous account on Reddit and finding a uk legal advice board or like the other poster said the legal advice board here and ask them.

I'd guess atleast half?

You probably need to speak to a solicitor. Things like pensions will also be considered and who the kids choose to live with. Although by the time the divorce will go through the kids will be adults.

Under the relationship section there is a video from a barrister Paula someone advising on how the court divides marital assets.

In England? Adult kids, long term marriage, courts will start at 50/50.
Kids over 18 who still need fed, clothed, housed will not be taken into account.

50:50 must be the starting point. Pensions and equity I imagine.

Given the age of your children and the time taken to divorce it is unlikely you would have to pay him maintenance should the DC decide to live with him. If they do decide that you may wish to give your DC money directly.

If he works and can buy a place to live than 50:50 may be excellent value in terms of your mental health.

Good luck.

Thank you. Will check the legal section out as suggested.

I know 50-50 probably is "fair" ( I keep asking myself what I would think if I read my post but it was the female that was the lower earner) it just seems shit that it was my money pre marriage, my sacrifices and my bloody hard work that have got us to a situation where we are mortgage free, with a nice house, in a good area but he walks away with exactly the same.
Freedom and my well being are worth it though I guess, and I must keep my eyes on that prize.

Freedom to have an opinion on how the house is decorated, Freedom to put a bit more oil in the diffuser if I want, Freedom to not get so fucking angry cos although he gets home at lunch time he goes to bed for a few hours and then does the bare minimal around the house so I shop, wash, iron and cook on top of a fairly stressful job that involves long hours. Freedom to take my car to the dealership cos although he's denied it I think he's activated the app which amongst other things tracks my car ( my understanding is the car's unique code can only be used once, so if the dealership can't help me activate the app it will be because he's already done it. Freedom to go out in an evening / weekend. Freedom to visit family without being told before we get there what time we'll be leaving. Freedom to have people round without the stress of wondering how he'll be with people - ok or a twat.

God I wish I'd been braver a long time ago. But I feel lighter just having made my mind up. And removing my wedding ring.

Onwards. I keep telling myself by Christmas I will be over the worst.

Thanks all.