Feel guilty for needing to go off work sick

[Tinkytink]

I’ve never taken any leave off work apart from maybe 2 or 3 days over 5 years with flu, tummy bug etc.
I feel like I need to take some time off, I’ve had an awful year with the end of my marriage, selling family home, been left in an awful financial position and just got back on my feet that way and on top of that I’ve worked as a frontline nhs worker during the covid pandemic with 3 small children at home, having to juggle no childcare and working has been so tough.
I feel like I’m totally burnt out, have spoke to my employer who basically told me I’m a great worker and I can do it.
My mood and emotional health is so up and down at the minute, I regularly feel overwhelmed and am not sleeping great.
It’s the first in my career I’ve felt I need time off work, I feel so guilty though and worried people will think I’m taking the piss as on the surface to my colleagues I probably seem fine

Go to your GP, ask to be signed off, and self refer into your local talking therapies place (try IAPT).

Looking after yourself proactively now will avoid a much worse situation later. You are not weak and stupid and anyone who judges is not worth worrying about.

It sounds like you’ve had a hell of a year, even one of those things on its own is enough!

Don't feel guilty, you've had a terrible year.

Your employer will say you can do it but that is because they dont want you too to off sick and that all fine for them, they aren't living it. You need to listen to your mind and body and look after yourself, you may only need a few weeks off. Get your self a sick note and dont feel guilty! If you dont you will only end up going off sick anyway and potentially be in a worse position than you are now.

I’m sorry for what you have had to deal with.

My thoughts always are, you get no thanks for going in unwell, take the time off, recuperate and get yourself back.

Can you take some annual leave?

I have mental health issues and take anti-depressants. Despite often struggling I really try not to take too much sick leave. There have been a few occasions where I’ve had no choice because I couldn’t stop crying or because I was too exhausted to get out of bed but I think there are better ways to handle burnout.

If possible I think it’s best to try and schedule some leave rather than get signed off.

I’m in the same position as you (but childless) you have my full sympathy. You need to rest.

Of course your manager will say you can do it, they don't want to cover your work!

If YOU feel you need time out speak to your GP. I've been like you (NHS too) broken down on my manager and yet she still didn't say go home, yet I wasn't in a fit state to see patients, she knew how much I was going through work and personal stuff! I've changed managers now and my new one is much more sympathetic. I get that they can't tell you what to do for your health but they could encourage you to see GP etc. My new manager recently said to a friend who when she broke down to go home, go to Dr and take time out.

I also think that some people are better at hiding it than others. If you are strong and keep going and don't show your inner feelings, they don't realise how bad it is. The first GP I saw was similar I tried telling her how I was struggling and she wittered on about mindfulness and how it doesn't matter if you give kids pizza for tea sometimes, I was saying to her that the reason I'm saying this is to you is because I've tried all that and it hadn't worked...

Go to your GP and tell them every thing, they are in a position to help you