I don't want to be a house wife.

[Idontknowanymore05]

In September both my children will be at school 30hours a week.
I work part time Fri-Sun, which means I will have 26hours in the week off. I really don't know what I'm doing with my life. I can't get a job for week days as I have no one to look after my children during school holidays. I also don't want to be a house wife doing house work the whole time. I feel so unfulfilled in certain parts of my life but I don't know or don't have the energy/get up and go to fix them.
I don't know what I'm asking. I'm just miserable. I really want to change but I don't know how. Any thoughts?

You've got a husband and you have an equal right to a career.

You haven't said what you want to do? Everything mentioned has been self employment, don't jump in with that because you'll end up doing the same amount of household and kid stuff on top of your job and trying to start a business.

Talk about setting yourself up to fail. No, get a job, with a contract. Don't dismiss all jobs with an admin element as "office jobs". They're not all as boring as they sound.

What qualifications do you have and what type of person are you?

I couldn't always go out to work when my children were younger. I did voluntary work which was great as I was able to fit it around school hours. I didn't have anyone that could watch mine for school holidays/illness. I just used to phone the place I was volunteering and let them know if I couldn't get in. I enjoyed voluntary work and it was something for me.

@PlanDeRaccordement You're right, It shouldn't be taken literally and more often than not, it is said by an older person too.
I am a pretty selfless person so everything I do is for my children but as much as I love my children, I couldn't make a career out of it.

@Bul21ia My husband is on 80k a year and I'm on £1k a month. He pays the mortgage, all bills and food. So it'd be unfair to use him really when he is the breadwinner. Fortunately he isn't a slacker, does his fair share of house work & laundry daily and even more so at weekends. He even does painting and gardening. He is literally amazing but stretched. His DM could help me two days but she works also.

I actually find working nights easier with school aged kids. When I first started they were babies and I would come home and not sleep at all. Least this way I can get some sleep when kids are at school.

To the poster who suggested dog walking, unfortunately I'm not a dog/animal person.
I agree, maybe self employment isn't the best idea.
The thing is, I don't actually know what I want to do. I'm a very practical person. I am outgoing and can confidently address several people in a room. I'm good at upselling and I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty.
If anyone has any career ideas please throw them my way.

If your dh is on 80K a year, why not consider a job with more sociable hours? I know you say you like working nights, but you must be exhausted. There are lots of childcare options and you can fit work around school easily with a bit of help here and there. Afterschool clubs are peanuts as are holiday clubs when at least one of you is a high earner. Then you'd have a lot more flexibility and still have time off during the week for yourself (and surely quality weekend time too).

We both work, but even if it was just dh (he earns about what your dh earns), we could easily afford afterschool club and holiday club, even if I wasn't working. The childcare costs and responsibility are not all yours. Even if your dh can't work flexibly, he makes more money than most people could dream of and you have the means to pay for help to improve everyone's quality of life.

@mindutopia

If your dh is on 80K a year, why not consider a job with more sociable hours? I know you say you like working nights, but you must be exhausted. There are lots of childcare options and you can fit work around school easily with a bit of help here and there. Afterschool clubs are peanuts as are holiday clubs when at least one of you is a high earner. Then you'd have a lot more flexibility and still have time off during the week for yourself (and surely quality weekend time too).

We both work, but even if it was just dh (he earns about what your dh earns), we could easily afford afterschool club and holiday club, even if I wasn't working. The childcare costs and responsibility are not all yours. Even if your dh can't work flexibly, he makes more money than most people could dream of and you have the means to pay for help to improve everyone's quality of life.

You're right. We could totally make it work. I have no idea how much school clubs are etc...but they don't sound expensive. I just paid £65 for my nursery child to attend for one full day this week, so I thought it'd be ridiculously expensive.

Thinking I could look for week jobs while working the weekend.

Thank you all so much. I feel terrible for moaning as I really don't have it that bad.

My mums a dinner lady and works 7-2, kids would only need breakfast club then? X

Stop it. Just stop. You're allowed to moan and you're allowed to want a career you enjoy for yourself.

There are no "mummy martyr" awards given out upon death. Furthermore, you need to be able to support yourself should your DH decide to join the hoards of men that have so called "mid-life crises".

Sorry if I'm being harsh but I absolutely hate this culture of women just making do and sitting vulnerable and unfulfilled whilst praising a man for putting the fucking washing on.

Think. What do you want to do? Where do you live roughly? Are you near a big employer where you could progress? Do you fancy any of the services? Do you have GCSEs?

What about something health related? You could do an access course then do OT, ODP, nursing or anything really.

@fairynick That would be perfect hours!

@denverRegina
Thank you. Honestly, thank you so much. I've spent all my life helping others, bigging up everyone else and putting every one else first! Its MY TIME NOW. I really needed your post! I don't just want to sit in the slow lane. I want to ride fast. I want a career and for it to be successful.

I am in South East England. I live more into the countryside so no real big businesses around and you need to be able to drive, which I am working on! I'm extremely lucky I can just walk to work.

@Cipot I have thought being a social worker. I know it'll be so challenging but I love helping people.

I'm so glad you took that the way I meant it to come across!

Honestly, you can do this and to hell with the childcare, you'll sort it. Even if at first your wage only covers the equivalent of their childcare that doesn't matter. Kids grow up and it will need to be fair, your DH will hopefully support this anyway.

You need to learn to drive, that will open up so many avenues to you. I was going to suggest something like the highways agency but then you dropped in the lack of licence, haha! Focus on that.

What about airports or power stations, do you have any of those nearby? So many interesting and well paid jobs that don't require degree level education

How about going to college and learning a trade like plumbing, electrician, painter and decorator, gardener/ horticulture etc.

If you were self employed you could do more jobs in school hours and take less on in the holidays.

We have some female trades locally and they are v successful- some people seem to feel more comfortable with a female in their home.

Being on your feet and getting your hands dirty?
A landscape gardener?
A female electrician?
I think a well marketed female tradey would clean up. Think of all the elderly and vulnerable members of the public who would feel safer with a female in their homes.
I know I’d much prefer a woman come to the house when/ if my husband was out.
You could set up your own business in this type of area, with the backing of your husband, and then arrange jobs around your children.

@LoveSleeping

How about going to college and learning a trade like plumbing, electrician, painter and decorator, gardener/ horticulture etc.

If you were self employed you could do more jobs in school hours and take less on in the holidays.

We have some female trades locally and they are v successful- some people seem to feel more comfortable with a female in their home.

Oops! Great minds haha

@Idontknowanymore05

Im actually a night shift worker. Which works perfectly as I have my weekend days to have family time (obviously I have to sacrifice sleep) that's why my job fits perfectly around my husbands and family life. I feel like I've got the best of both worlds.

I just can't believe I'm moaning about having free time, when it's all I've wanted and was looking forward to for a long time. I do want a career. I'm very early 30s so I know I still have time. I just need to find something that works around my life. I keep hearing so many people say that's its not about "you" anymore, when you have kids. That's so hard to hear. I want to do something for me.

I hope this comes across the right way, but I've never heard anyone say that about it not being about you any more. Every woman I am vaguely friendly with who has children, bar one, works (generally 4 days a week if not 5) and everyone talks about career progression etc. Are people maybe trying to make you feel better about not being a big earner? Or perhaps it's just your circle of friends. What I'm trying to say is that for many, many women in their 30s it's completely normal to want to have a fulfilling job or career and you absolutely shouldn't have to justify that to anyone.

Now is your time to focus on you OP. Holiday clubs for school holidays xxx