TW sexual assault
I’ve been having therapy for anxiety for a few months - therapist told me last night she wants to refer me on for specialised trauma therapy after saying last week she wanted me to consider if she could advocate for me, but will continue to phone in the meantime until she finds out what sort of therapy can be offered and how it’s done . All via NHS .
The reason I have PTSD is unfortunately due to the NHS; on detailing experiences to therapist she said she believes I was sexually assaulted - I think I was too sadly . Years of experience working in nhs I know you wouldn’t do what he did by accident . I don’t honestly think any doctor could be so incompetent; I also worked with the man and knew from colleagues they felt uncomfortable with him too . On the night it happened I think I remember a student doctor telling me she I needed to complain and she would verify my account of events .
I’ve gone down the route of complaining to the NHS a few years ago, and been told they’ve reviewed procedures and apologised however didn’t say; ‘yes this happened’ - just gave me a debriefing with a consultant who to her credit said she was horrified at my treatment and promised she would use it to change how things are done .
My GP was aware at the time and I think she believed me but she said it would be a case of my word against his - and therefore reporting wouldn’t be worth it .
I have absolutely no idea what happens when you report something . I don’t know if that man is still a doctor - I don’t even know his name - and they have absolutely no proof of what I’m saying .
I’ve told therapist I really don’t think I should report this at all as I’m scared, it will cost a fortune too and I don’t think I’ll get any results back . I also want to work for the nhs again and I’m pretty sure if I do this I’ll lose that chance .
But then some of me thinks what if someone else has gone through similar; or if I’m right and he does it again to another person? Or OTOH if he genuinely just made a mistake/is just incompetent .
Am I wrong for feeling that way? Therapist couldn’t have been kinder and more gentle in discussing it; and she said she would ensure my current GP is fully informed so she can better support me; but said she does need to refer me onto more intensive therapy/with someone better qualified than her - and all I want to do is cry, I’m finding talking to her very beneficial and can’t bear the thought of starting all over again. Almost wishing I hadn’t opened my mouth - but then I realise it’s impacting heavily on my daily life and so probably do need the help they’re offering .