I'm feeling so guilty about sending my son to nursery :(((

[Sternschnuppe]

Hi everyone,

my son is 9 months old today and I have to return to work soon.

My old job made me redundant whilst on maternity leave, so I started looking for a new job recently, expecting it to take a long time, but I found a new job really quickly.

My plan before the redundancy was to return to work when he's 12 months old. As I have a new job now, they want me to start on June 7th.

I was extremely lucky to find a nursery that's only 2 minutes walk away from my home. They have the capacity in the baby room so will be able to take him on.

I work from home full-time, so can bring him to nursery in the morning and pick him up.

Yesterday we went to the nursery to officially register. He was in the nursery manager's arms and started crying and just wouldn't calm down.

I now feel massively guilty sending him to nursery full-time on June 7th.
I am so scared he will cry and cry and think I have abandoned him.

He will have a settling-in week before he officially starts, but I still feel like a very bad mother.

Unfortunately, we both don't have family close by, so I have no other choice and I need to work for financial reasons. I also don't want to put myself in a position where I'm a SAHM, in case "life happens" and I need to start working again after being a SAHM and having difficulty finding employment.

Last night I couldn't fall asleep and today I'm so upset and crying.

Can anyone give me some advice, please? Will I scar him for life? Will our mother-baby bond break apart?

Thanks x

My super-clingy child sobbed while I was there for the settling in sessions, and the first day I had to go and get her about an hour early. After that, she was fine.
She's at preschool now, and so happy there that she ran in yesterday and was gone before I could even say goodbye!
Generally the tears are temporary and only for you.

Aww love. He will be fine I used to work in a nursery and so many of the babies would cry for a few minutes when left at nursery, and then be absolutely fine for the whole day. He’ll be busy having cuddles, snacks and stories and honestly he will be happy as a clam. Once you’re through the initial settling in phase, which is the hardest part, he will be absolutely grand!

My DD used to scream when I left her with the childminder. This happened for about 7 weeks. The childminder would send a photo 2 mins later to show she was fine and playing.
Now, 6 months on she loves going to the childminder and is all smiles.

It is tough leaving your baby but he will adjust quickly and will be just fine.

Nearly every mother feels this way. I went back to work when DD1 was 11 months old and when she was 2 years old I became a sahm but I still sent DD1 to nursery on reduced hours because she loved it. She stopped attending term time when when started school nursery at 3 but still meets up with those friends she made a daycare nursery even though she is 5 yrs old and counts them among her best friends.

I sent my youngest at 9 months, after a couple of sessions he was absolutely fine and gets so excited now when I drop him off.

It is so good for them, my little boy has come in so much and enjoys so many activities which I wouldn’t of even thought to do at home.

Just to repeat everyone else, mine went to a childminder at 9 months and I felt bad, but she settled in really quickly and is now a very confident, social and well rounded kid and I contribute that to her early years and the benefit of having that routine with early years practitioners.

Going to pre-school and reception has been an absolute doddle because she's so sociable.

I know it's hard, but she'll get there with them I promise

This year has shown us that childcare isn't just about parents being able to work. Children who haven't been able to access care during lockdown have fallen behind in many areas. Think of it as enhancing your child's early years

My kids don't even remember going to nursery. Your son will be fine, he will be cared for and learn how to socialise and have lots of fun. Mums will feel guilty whatever the childcare situation. Don't stress about it.

Thank you everyone for your posts. They make me feel so much better x